My first time at the pointy end: VN and AF from MEL-CDG

[MELso]

It wasn’t supposed to be this expensive… or this cheap…

When I started planning the junket… errr… study tour to Italy to complete my law degree in November last year, I imagined I’d do what I’d always do: find the cheapest fare possible and put up with the intense discomfort that long haul economy entails. (This is despite a ‘Gone with the wind’-style vow I’d made while flying transpacific on United in Economy Plus in 2007 that ‘As God as my witness, I’ll never fly long haul economy again… Ow… My head hurts… I need some Panadeine…’).

However, I saw Virgin was doing Premium Economy for $2.5k-ish and thought ‘hmmmm… $250 extra each way for space and not having someone recline into me while I’m eating… not bad…’ But then Air Asia took my fancy: (‘I hate the nickel-and-diming… but hey, it’s a flat bed… for just over $3k’). And then it happened: up popped a Business Class fare on Best Flights that I went: ‘that’s very reasonable: only twice an economy fare on a decent airline. I should book it.’ At this point, common sense kicked in: ‘MELso, you still get to where you’re going for half that price in economy…’

But it was so cheap. The irrational part of my brain needed to justify it. ‘Well’, it helpfully pointed out, ‘the fare will be tax deductible… and barring the time when mum threw a hissy fit in 1986 because the family was separated on a Sydney-Melbourne flight when returning from LA, you’ve never flown business class before… and you might be able to sleep… and think of all the booze and food…’

So I plunked down $3.9k on a Vietnam Airlines MEL-SGN-CDG return business class fare (now available for $3.7k mind you), and I’m now sitting in the business lounge in HCMC airport drinking a 333 and counting down the three hours or so till AF269 boards. No showers in the lounge mind you.

I have to say I could get very, very used to business class, even though the initial signs were not promising.

When I was driving out to the airport this morning I was joking to my parents that ‘thank goodness I’m flying business class. I’ve heard that check-in for Vietnam Airlines in economy is awful because it’ll be full of people complaining that they’re being charged excess baggage fees for the rice cooker they’re sending back. At least I won’t have to put up with THAT!’ How wrong I was. I got to the business counter to face an insanely long wait as, yes, in the absence of business class passengers, the economy passengers were being checked in, and the business class check-in person was having a lengthy argument with an economy punter about… the excess baggage charges attaching to the rice cooker he was checking in. We got there in the end though.

After clearing customs (which, like check-in, was slow; so slow in fact that I actually moved out of the so-called 'express' lane into the regular queue), I found the Qantas lounge. In the lounge initially turned left, and was stunned to find a paucity of food on offer. After getting a coffee and having a read of the Sunday Age (which took all of five minutes, as per usual), I went off exploring. Here was the promised land of bacon and chocolate croissants and pancakes with maple syrup. (Yes... I should have turned right instead of left. I never quite have got the hang of airport lounges; my first time I was invited in, I whipped out my wallet in anticipation of having to pay for the beers...)

I was a man on a mission: to get as much 'soft product' into me in the shortest time possible (I had 30 minutes). This, however, proved a mistake... a big mistake.

You see, I hadn't counted on Vietnam Airlines serving me 'lunch' at 11.15, just 40 minutes after wheels up. And my, what a lunch it was. After asking for white wine (there were alas no wine lists I could see), I opted for the burgundy. And the chicken and prosciutto entree, and the Hainanese chicken (which, unlike most airline food, had some kick in it courtesy of copious amounts of chilli)... And the amuse bouche... And the potato soup... And the salad... And omigod... the pain... but... must... also... get... money's... worth... and... have... dessert (consisting of cheese, a chocolate mud cake, some fruit and some chocolates; I omitted the ice cream for it seemed like a 'Meaning of Life'-style 'wafer thin' mistake waiting to happen)...

Onto the second can of 333...

I reclined the seat into 'beached whale'... errr... 'bed' mode, and tried to nap. (Beached whales lie at an angle on Vietnam Airlines, rather than fully flat. However, the seat has a decent footrest that prevents beached whales sliding down to become a pile of blubber on the floor.) However, the agony from my stomach caused by eating an insane amount of food in a short period of time precluded this for more than a few minutes. So I sat up into the 'relax' mode and watched The Descendants, In Time and an action flick starring Nicholas Cage and Nicole Kidman that was so forgettable, I have already forgotten it.

About an hour before landing, the 'refreshment' was brought around. I opted for the braised pork with chilli bean sauce and noodles (very China Bar-style fare for fellow Melburnians that haunt cheap Asian eateries for lunch)... and more pain as my body once again protested at the consumption of so much food (it will get its revenge on me for eating so much chilli in the next few hours I suspect).

The landing was uneventful, but we were dumped unceremoniously out on the tarmac to get a bus back to the terminal (fortunately, business class passengers got a bus all of their own). The new Saigon airport can't come soon enough.

Once inside the terminal, I got to the transfer counter only to find that I couldn't do it at the Vietnam Airlines counter; I had to wait for the Air France counter to open. So I went and got my Visa on Arrival for the return journey, where I waited... and waited... and waited... Still, I got there in the end, and got the boarding pass for my flight to Paris.

A final observation: the amenity kit is well-stocked, with all the stuff a chap needs (and stuff he never knew he did, like a shoe horn, a shoe polisher and a razor(!))…

Anyhoo, time for a third can of 333 (this posting is thirsty work!)

Until tomorrow...

(PS don't know why the pix appear upside down before)

 

[ozmille]

be warned! it will be very hard to turn right from now on!

 

[docjames]

Great start to the TR. Looking forward to the rest and not an airline that has lots of TR around here so great one to add. Well done.

+1 - it's hard to go back.....

 

[Justinf]

Great TR so far and well written.
Glad to see you opted for the diet soda to cancel out all that gorging.

 

[haydensydney]

Awesome start to your trip report... look forward to the rest of it!

(I've seen those fares and wondered if i'd ever book them - so cheap!)

 

[spudseamus]

its been a while since I've laughed out loud at a T/R !! well done and more please !!

 

[Dalescott]

Do you mean there are still people who use Economy, oh my.

 

[MELso]

By the time you read this post, I will be dead... dead from eating far too much pan au chocolat in the Air France arrivals lounge at Charles de Gaulle Airport (an airport that makes Melbourne look like a model of organisation and civility) while waiting for my EasyJet flight to Barcelona to depart (I vowed that I would not lose sight of my cheapskate roots).

It's one of the perks of flying Skyteam into CDG that you can use the 2C arrivals lounge if you're prepared to walk... and walk... from 2E. Still, after spending over 30 hours travelling, I looked and smelled like a bum and was in dire need of a shower and shave. The arrivals lounge obliged, and I got yet another toiletry bag in the process.


It capped off what was a pretty good flight. However, for several nervous minutes at Ho Chi Minh City airport, I was worried I wouldn't make it as, after leaving the lounge strewn with 333 cans, I made my way to the gate, whereupon my boarding pass scanned red, and I was pulled aside. Minute after minute ticked by, the anxiety steadily growing, as I was told to wait with no idea of what was going on. After about 10 minutes, the girl who did the transfers noticed me and waved me onto the plane, whereupon I took my seat. Strange.


Dinner was served at about midnight local time. Or 3AM my time. Once again, I forced myself to eat, drink and be merry (as much as someone could be merry at 3AM in the morning). My body was screaming at me to stop... until I had a sip of the Chateau Cantemerle with my beef. This was very nice indeed, and was followed up with a trio of desserts that were also excellent. My body, realising it would not stop me, stopped protesting at this time.


As it was about 4AM Melbourne-time, I reclined the seat* and tried to sleep. However, the noise from the aircraft and the gap between the seat and footwell made it a bit uncomfortable, although by positioning myself at the bottom, I avoided sliding down. Still, I got 6.5 hours of tossy-turny sleep before breakfast of french toast and omelette came (plus some danishes for good measure). Once again, it was wolfed down. I stepped off the plane feeling quite reasonable, until I encountered the chaos that was Charles de Gaulle airport. It was up hill, down dale, through woefully inadequate revolving doors, on trains etc etc just to get to passport control.

One final note: unlike Vietnam Airlines' amenity kit (which, as noted, included everything except the kitchen sink), Air France's kit was rubbish, with things like a toothbrush but no toothpaste. Very poor effort. (EDIT - the toothpaste had got caught in the socks, although it does not change my opinion of the kit)


I must sign off now, because I need to embark on an expedition to find terminal 2B and go from one extreme of travel comfort to the other. I have ensured that the arrivals lounge can still offer value after I have left it by grabbing several packets of biscuits to eat on the EasyJet flight.

(Also, the photos are upside down again, but I don't have time to fix at the moment...)

* This is Air France's 'new' NEV4 angled seat, touted as offering 'full sleep'. It's new inasmuch as it was announced in late 2010, several years after other carriers were moving towards fully flat beds. However, the product feels cramped and rather dated. While I didn't slide down when I stopped placing my feet at the bottom of the footwell, there were many other inconveniences, such as the difficulty getting out to pay a visit to the gents if the person next to you is sleeping, and the lack of support under your shins.

 

[ozmille]

Deleted...

 

[amaroo]

Looking forward to this - great start.

bababa - thats how the locals order 333

 

[robd]

Great read, but i think I've gained about 3 kgs just reading this T/R.

 

[MELso]

I had attempted to post this yesterday, but it got swallowed by the interwebs...

When I originally announced to several friends that I had booked a flight on easyJet, I had never received so many stunned looks in my life. 'But MELso, you do know that there's a reality TV show about the craziness that goes on with easyJet, don't you? You should watch it...' was a typical reaction.

Now, yours truly, having had a love-hate relationship with the time suck that is part-time study for the last three years, has not had much of an opportunity to catch up on popular culture during that time. This has had its benefits and its costs. On the plus side, it meant that virtually every movie released in the last three years is for me a ‘new release’, enabling me to be blown away at the amazing choice of movies available in-flight, rather than just flipping through the list going ‘seen it, seen it’. I was not bored during the trip, particularly on Air France where I got to catch up on Ticker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy (which was in hindsight not a good in-flight movie due to its Byzantine plot complexity; that reminds me, I must go and read the plot synopsis on Wikipedia) and the Iron Lady.

On the minus side, it has meant less time for reality TV. Errr… wait. Actually, that’s also a plus. But it did mean that Come Fly With Me passed me by. Come Fly With Me, for those who are not familiar, is a fly-on-the-wall doco that details the travails of large numbers of gormless British tourists as they try to make it to Malaga or Ibiza or similar but somehow managing to do very stupid things. The thought of being one of those people sent shivers down my spine.

As it happened, it was all pretty uneventful.

I’d originally booked my flight from Orly to Pisa, and remember being amazed that what had started out as a 20 euro fare ended up being closer to 80 euros when booking it (LCC nickel-and-diming irks me; it was almost a case of ‘oh, so you actually want to sit down. 10 euros please’). However, due to Vietnam Airlines cancelling my original flight which was to have been three days later, after some arguments and throwing the IATA conditions of carriage in their face (yay for studying law!), Vietnam Airlines relented and changed the date of the flight to the one I preferred. This gave me three days in either Prague or Barcelona (the only destinations that easyJet fly to with short connecting flights to Tuscany).

After seeing that Vueling could fly me directly from Barcelona to Florence, Barcelona got the nod. After paying another huge fee (42 euros for rebooking, even though it’s a few clicks of a mouse) and the fare difference, I was all set.

This is where we pick up the story.

So I hiked from 2C to 2B. These terminals are basically opposite each other in Charles De Gaulle, but could you get there directly? Of course not. Instead I had to make my way back almost to 2E, before crossing over and heading back to 2B.

At 2B, I made my way to the speedy boarding queue which like the main queue, was fairly quiet (although it looks like it could get MUCH more crowded). This aspect of speedy boarding proved not to be worth it. After weighing my bag and hand luggage (apparently to stop people from sneaking by with a large amount of luggage), I was all checked in, whereupon I made my way to the gate.

After 20 minutes or so of waiting to see if easyJet staff would show up, I turned around to see a huge queue had formed. I have NEVER seen as big a queue form in as short a period of time as what occurred there. Fortunately, this was where speedy boarding came into its own, as I became number two in line. This meant that, rather than playing ‘Knees up Mother Brown’ courtesy of the tight seat pitch, I was able to snaffle seat 1C and have limitless leg room. Remarkably, no-one else thought to grab seats 1A and 1B, until two other Australian tourists plucked up the courage to ask to sit there.

There are no photos of my ‘meal’ (I’ll leave it to your imagination to conjure up a can of Pepsi Max and a small can of Pringles). However, the flight was smooth and got in on time, and my luggage showed up very quickly after landing. It was therefore hard to fault my easyJet experience.

Oh and before I sign off, a couple more observations. First, another gripe with the Air France seat: there appears to be no way to use your own headphones (I find in-ear monitors good for blocking out sound); you must use their very ordinary built-in headset (they do supply headphone covers; gee, thanks Air France). Second, Vietnam Airlines’ cabin crew have a little way to go. They tended to disappear between meals and the occasional check of the cabin, and the English was a bit ropey too. This was in contrast to the Air France crew who effortlessly switched languages and were constantly monitoring the cabin.

 

[jetlagger]

MELso,

Thanks - Wonderful writing style & love the photos.. justifies your indulgence! Must try those 333's some day. Also look forward to the ongoing updates.

Cheers, jl

 

[spudseamus]

MELso what a run to the finish line ! well done ! thanks again for a great T/R

 

[travelislife]

Great read, but there is just one mistake you have made! Paying that 4k when you could have got Business Class for Economy prices using US dividend miles, BMI miles or AA miles having never set foot on a plane in your life! Have a read up on this forum so that next trip you don't feel the need to justify that extra cash. 2k to Europe for return business class, sounds ridiculous but trust me it is not.

 

[MELso]

Yes, it's true that $4k is a lot, but alas I only discovered US Dividend Miles about a week after their last double miles promotion... Sigh... (Also, I'm not sure about the tax deductibility of those fares, so I'm not sure the financial outcomes would be significantly different.)

Anyhoo, now that I've picked the jaw up off the floor being in Florence (in the space of a week, I've gone from being a tourist to cursing all the ****ing tourists; the 75 cent cans of Birra Moretti and 7 euro bottles of Chianti Classico help overcome my annoyance though), I must belatedly report on my BCN-FLR flight on Vueling.

Low cost carriers are one of the great innovations for hopping around Europe... provided you know how they work. For behind the shiny sans serif typefaces and the 'fun', pun-laden approach to marketing lies some of the most ruthlessly capitalistic behaviour in any marketplace. They make money hand over fist not through their fares, but through their ancilliary charges that, unless you've studied the fine print closely, can hit you from any direction...

The fact that there are many punters out there who are happily drawn in by low fares but then pay though the nose for other stuff has not gone unnoticed by the larger players. So it was that IAG, the parent of British Airways and Iberia, needed a defensive play. Vueling was the answer (vuelos is Spanish for flight, so in the best LCC tradition, the slogan is 'Vueling means flying'... Ha ha...).

And so it was that I watched my initial 45 euro fare balloon into almost double that as I added a bag (ka-ching!), a payment fee (ka-ching!*) and a reserved seat (ka-ching!; but a good buy it turned out).

So inside Barcelona's wonderful T1 terminal, check-in was a breeze, with a pre-printed boarding pass meaning I avoided a substantial queue, and was checked in by the business check-in person. I geared up for the flight with a beer and a salami roll (Spaniards are very big on the ham and salami!). After waiting for the final call to go up (about two minutes after boarding was opened), I boarded and took my carefully selected seat: the wonderful 10A, an exit row window seat on the ex-Iberia A319. Better still, there was no-one sitting next to me, so that meant I got what Vueling terms a 'Duo' seat for 6 euros (rather than the rather ambitious 70 euros they charge) with legroom galore.

I had an Estrella and a pack of olives to pass the time, but again, it was an uneventful flight, arriving ten minutes early into Florence's dinky little airport. Better still, my bag was the first one on the carousel (the first time that has EVER happened to me!) and I was out the door and on my way by the scheduled arrival time (I got lost in central Florence, but that's another matter).

That's it for now. Next up, my two Alitalia flights from Palermo to Venice at the end of June (or, as I now like to call them ***king Alitalia, following their decision to cancel my direct flight).

* Are there any LCCs that don't charge payment fees for using means that normal people use (you know: credit card over the internet, rather than magic beans deposited in the Timbuktu branch office between 2am and 3am on the Monday before a full moon)? I certainly haven't encountered any.

 

[jetlagger]

Lovely continuation of TR.. With a humerous angle.. I reflect on the fun travels & challenging moments that you are enduring, except my mode of Euro trans is usually by the Choo Choo.. Thanks & enjoy the Chianti

 

[MH_fan]

Thank you for such an entertaining T/R! It's also very helpful as I'm considering the VN business class flight to Europe. I just have to decide whether I want VN all the way or do the VN/AF combo.

 

[smit0847]

Thank you for such an entertaining T/R! It's also very helpful as I'm considering the VN business class flight to Europe. I just have to decide whether I want VN all the way or do the VN/AF combo.

see this -

Great read, but there is just one mistake you have made! Paying that 4k when you could have got Business Class for Economy prices using US dividend miles, BMI miles or AA miles having never set foot on a plane in your life! Have a read up on this forum so that next trip you don't feel the need to justify that extra cash. 2k to Europe for return business class, sounds ridiculous but trust me it is not.

 

[MELso]

Lovely continuation of TR.. With a humerous angle.. I reflect on the fun travels & challenging moments that you are enduring, except my mode of Euro trans is usually by the Choo Choo.. Thanks & enjoy the Chianti

Just for you jetlagger, I'll report on my experiences in a sleeper on the night train from Venice to Vienna, Business Class on the Railjet from Vienna to Zurich (alas, Premium Class, which saw an endless supply of hors d'oeuvres and prosecco, has now been discontinued) and first class on the TGV from Zurich to Paris, all of which will be coming up in late June and early July (sadly, none of it is tax deductible though because I'll have finished studying )...