TonyHancock
Senior Member
- Joined
- Aug 26, 2010
- Posts
- 5,645
…….but….but……..it is only 10 O’clock in the morning I spluttered, visibly shaken at the prospect of being woken at this ungodly hour on New Years Day.
Griselda had decided to start the year bang on schedule….it was just that it was her schedule rather than mine. New Year has traditionally started on the 4th or 5th of January or if we forget dates, they can be so fluid, it is a bit like Easter in that it falls, not on a date, but an event, although for me this is not related to the moon, it is the first sober day of the year.
“Oh do listen” she boomed. She was in particularly formidable form. “It really is quite simple” I suspect Griselda saw it as fair too.
“You fly to London on the 22nd January and the return flight is booked for the 3rd March.”
This sounded straightforward but even my limited knowledge of my own travel schedule had me down for a return to London on the 5th February - as part of my existing ticket that brought me to Australia in December. I attempted to elucidate this with a series of head shakes, grunts and general hand gestures.
“Yes….you will still be flying back to London, via Oslo obviously, on the 5th February” Griselda explained, with the sort of tone that suggested exasperation, with a hint of frustration and a very limited amount of patience.
My mid morning pick me up and all round New Years Day malaise cure all was beginning to have some effect, the anchovy stuffed olives were a fine addition to the martini, and I managed to ask how on earth I would be flying back to London when I was already there.
Griselda’s eyes rolled as she, with headmistress like authority, spelled things out.
“You will be returning back from London, via Bergen naturally, on the 29th January”.
Indeed what could be more simple I thought, rather sarcastically, but dared not formulate into words - I was still a little shaky and Griselda had the iron (A rather thoughtful Christmas gift from me - not that I like to boast about my philanthropic nature.) in her right hand. (This was her arm wrestling hand, and as the East Cheam champion arm wrestler, male and female, of 1964 I was not going to provoke her.)
Whilst not entirely convinced that my travel plans were ideal I at least, for the most part, understood them…..or so I thought.
“Of course you will be flying back from London, via Oslo, obviously, on the 14th February” Griselda casually dropped into the conversation.
My head was now throbbing and Griselda could see that a second martini was required.
She came very close to anticipating my next question, “You are probably wondering what the flight back from London on the 3rd of March is for when you are returning on the 14th February.”
It was a a good effort on Griselda’s part but my next question was actually “can I have that martini now please?”
“You are flying back to London, via Bergen, naturally, on the 20th February” Griselda pointed out with a degree of firmness that ensured my silence. She handed me a Dry Martini with two anchovy stuffed olives. The world seemed a marginally better place.
“Oh and I have already booked your Dusseldorf flight for late January and your Berlin and Athens flights for late February and early March.”
I did wonder why it would be “obvious” that I was flying anywhere via Oslo or “naturally” via Bergen, but these seem minor details when viewing a bigger picture that had me flying to and from the UK three times in a period of 43 days……and of course slotting in Dusseldorf, Berlin and Athens.
“I know how much you like the detail” she continued, clearly demonstrating that she does not know me at all, “and I know you’ll be wondering about the return flight associated with your 14th February flight to Melbourne.”
errr……errr……. there is a return flight associated with my 14th Feb flight to Melbourne I thought……
”Yes I am Miss Pugh” is what I said…..I was feeling rather formal and thought I needed to demonstrate that I was on top of things, despite having no idea what she was talking about.
“The return flight to London, obviously via Oslo, is in April” Griselda informed me.
I was going to the UK in April? mmmmmmmm. I then found out that I was also going in May, June, October and December as well. It’s always nice to find these things out in advance. Quite why I would be required to attend any meetings was beyond me but who am I to argue?
Rather than make any further attempts to understand my travel arrangements I opted for detailed instructions from Griselda………it just seemed easier, and the 48 page, bound, document would almost certainly prove useful, if only to place under the leg of my rather wonky dinner table.
The one thing that was gnawing away at the old grey matter was the need to get over to China prior to tootling off to Blighty on January 22nd. Griselda would need to sort that out PDQ. However more important matters needed immediate attention and Griselda took the Coates Plymouth Gin*, I have never really understood the interest in those new fangled gins, from the freezer and mixed a particularly fine Martini with two anchovy stuffed olives. All rather spiffing, if a little alternative.
Griselda was not letting this go and decided that I needed to be aware of the various routes I would be taking. There was little to take comfort in. I was rather set in my ways so this whole Oslo, Bergen and Stavanger thing was more than a little disconcerting. Apparently Griselda was saving me a significant wad of cash with her madness.
There were two bright spots that I could see, the first being access to the Concorde Room at Heathrow, I do rather like the BA approach. A proper lounge that excludes the hordes of non DYKWIA’s - those dreadful Qantas Platinum and BA Gold flyers. I was a little unsure about “celebrity” access and Griselda was tasked with finding if these modern blights on society were welcomed in the CCR.
Access has also been extended to Singapore where I would be provided with a code to enter the inner sanctum of the BA Lounge. Whilst it is a windowless, cramped, room with limited food offerings, at least it is far removed from the dreadful lounges where Oneworld Emerald types roamed freely. (Presumably protected by the UK Government’s ban on hunting.) Who needs the luxuries in life when one can be distanced from the general riff raff?
When Griselda pointed out that the majority of my travel was with BA my feelings were very mixed. Like QF, BA was unable to provide a dry martini in First Class - this is poor. Dry, gin based, martinis are the staple of the civilised world. What was even poorer was that the majority of my travel would be in something called “Business Class”. #shudder#
2016 was shaping to be an utterly dreadful year of travel…and likely to surpass 2015 in miles flown. :shock:
TTFN (The teenagers may need to look this up in an Encyclopaedia, although personally I prefer “Enquire Within Upon Everything”….. a much better guide to the modern world. [edit: Griselda has suggested something called Google - I have no idea what that is, but it sounds dreadfully modern.])
*...and this despite it being owned by The French
Griselda had decided to start the year bang on schedule….it was just that it was her schedule rather than mine. New Year has traditionally started on the 4th or 5th of January or if we forget dates, they can be so fluid, it is a bit like Easter in that it falls, not on a date, but an event, although for me this is not related to the moon, it is the first sober day of the year.
“Oh do listen” she boomed. She was in particularly formidable form. “It really is quite simple” I suspect Griselda saw it as fair too.
“You fly to London on the 22nd January and the return flight is booked for the 3rd March.”
This sounded straightforward but even my limited knowledge of my own travel schedule had me down for a return to London on the 5th February - as part of my existing ticket that brought me to Australia in December. I attempted to elucidate this with a series of head shakes, grunts and general hand gestures.
“Yes….you will still be flying back to London, via Oslo obviously, on the 5th February” Griselda explained, with the sort of tone that suggested exasperation, with a hint of frustration and a very limited amount of patience.
My mid morning pick me up and all round New Years Day malaise cure all was beginning to have some effect, the anchovy stuffed olives were a fine addition to the martini, and I managed to ask how on earth I would be flying back to London when I was already there.
Griselda’s eyes rolled as she, with headmistress like authority, spelled things out.
“You will be returning back from London, via Bergen naturally, on the 29th January”.
Indeed what could be more simple I thought, rather sarcastically, but dared not formulate into words - I was still a little shaky and Griselda had the iron (A rather thoughtful Christmas gift from me - not that I like to boast about my philanthropic nature.) in her right hand. (This was her arm wrestling hand, and as the East Cheam champion arm wrestler, male and female, of 1964 I was not going to provoke her.)
Whilst not entirely convinced that my travel plans were ideal I at least, for the most part, understood them…..or so I thought.
“Of course you will be flying back from London, via Oslo, obviously, on the 14th February” Griselda casually dropped into the conversation.
My head was now throbbing and Griselda could see that a second martini was required.
She came very close to anticipating my next question, “You are probably wondering what the flight back from London on the 3rd of March is for when you are returning on the 14th February.”
It was a a good effort on Griselda’s part but my next question was actually “can I have that martini now please?”
“You are flying back to London, via Bergen, naturally, on the 20th February” Griselda pointed out with a degree of firmness that ensured my silence. She handed me a Dry Martini with two anchovy stuffed olives. The world seemed a marginally better place.
“Oh and I have already booked your Dusseldorf flight for late January and your Berlin and Athens flights for late February and early March.”
I did wonder why it would be “obvious” that I was flying anywhere via Oslo or “naturally” via Bergen, but these seem minor details when viewing a bigger picture that had me flying to and from the UK three times in a period of 43 days……and of course slotting in Dusseldorf, Berlin and Athens.
“I know how much you like the detail” she continued, clearly demonstrating that she does not know me at all, “and I know you’ll be wondering about the return flight associated with your 14th February flight to Melbourne.”
errr……errr……. there is a return flight associated with my 14th Feb flight to Melbourne I thought……
”Yes I am Miss Pugh” is what I said…..I was feeling rather formal and thought I needed to demonstrate that I was on top of things, despite having no idea what she was talking about.
“The return flight to London, obviously via Oslo, is in April” Griselda informed me.
I was going to the UK in April? mmmmmmmm. I then found out that I was also going in May, June, October and December as well. It’s always nice to find these things out in advance. Quite why I would be required to attend any meetings was beyond me but who am I to argue?
Rather than make any further attempts to understand my travel arrangements I opted for detailed instructions from Griselda………it just seemed easier, and the 48 page, bound, document would almost certainly prove useful, if only to place under the leg of my rather wonky dinner table.
The one thing that was gnawing away at the old grey matter was the need to get over to China prior to tootling off to Blighty on January 22nd. Griselda would need to sort that out PDQ. However more important matters needed immediate attention and Griselda took the Coates Plymouth Gin*, I have never really understood the interest in those new fangled gins, from the freezer and mixed a particularly fine Martini with two anchovy stuffed olives. All rather spiffing, if a little alternative.
Griselda was not letting this go and decided that I needed to be aware of the various routes I would be taking. There was little to take comfort in. I was rather set in my ways so this whole Oslo, Bergen and Stavanger thing was more than a little disconcerting. Apparently Griselda was saving me a significant wad of cash with her madness.
There were two bright spots that I could see, the first being access to the Concorde Room at Heathrow, I do rather like the BA approach. A proper lounge that excludes the hordes of non DYKWIA’s - those dreadful Qantas Platinum and BA Gold flyers. I was a little unsure about “celebrity” access and Griselda was tasked with finding if these modern blights on society were welcomed in the CCR.
Access has also been extended to Singapore where I would be provided with a code to enter the inner sanctum of the BA Lounge. Whilst it is a windowless, cramped, room with limited food offerings, at least it is far removed from the dreadful lounges where Oneworld Emerald types roamed freely. (Presumably protected by the UK Government’s ban on hunting.) Who needs the luxuries in life when one can be distanced from the general riff raff?
When Griselda pointed out that the majority of my travel was with BA my feelings were very mixed. Like QF, BA was unable to provide a dry martini in First Class - this is poor. Dry, gin based, martinis are the staple of the civilised world. What was even poorer was that the majority of my travel would be in something called “Business Class”. #shudder#
2016 was shaping to be an utterly dreadful year of travel…and likely to surpass 2015 in miles flown. :shock:
TTFN (The teenagers may need to look this up in an Encyclopaedia, although personally I prefer “Enquire Within Upon Everything”….. a much better guide to the modern world. [edit: Griselda has suggested something called Google - I have no idea what that is, but it sounds dreadfully modern.])
*...and this despite it being owned by The French
