The Dyslexic traveler needs help

[Dyslexic traveler]

Hi all the following is a letter i intend to send to the Amex Centurion card CEO . I wonder if you can help me by proof-reading it and letting me know if i can improve on it in any way, all suggestions and spelling/Grammar correction will be welcomed.

Dear Ms. Vehrenkamp

I write to you today with the hope that you will get to read this, and it will not end up
on a manager’s desk never making you aware of my feeling, with regards your
Centurion card.

I have had your card fro about 3+ years and have had an American Express card for
A good number of years.

First I would like to commend your front line staff, they are a credit to your company
this is a major benefit to having your card.

Now comes my complaint, I feel you have eroded the benefits of the card and have
made it more unattractive to hold.

The first thing is your decision to reduce the amount of points for purchases.

For me this is one of the main reasons I keep the card, I understand that you may
need to cut cost, but the Centurion card should have been left alone.

If this is a true premium product for 1% of your card holders
then treat your centurion members as such.

If you have to reduce the points earned then do it with the other products in your range,
show your Centurion members you truly believe this is an exclusive product
with exclusive benefits.

There is also the fact that just about every place (including some of your partner hotels)
that takes Amex in Australia hits you up with a 1.5 to 3 % surcharge and more that is not charged if I pay with a visa card.

I have also calculated what your revenue from my yearly spendis, if you
receive 2% on my transactions as well as my membership cost you are getting
$17,313-17 + $5,000-00 = $22,313-17 not a bad return.

If I compare the cost of the Citi Bank select card (a card I also hold) that is offered
at $900-00 dollars a year with the following benefits.

Earn 2 points per $1 spent plus the benefit of unlimited points so no cap on how many
you can earn.

5 points per $1 spent on eligible international purchases including online shopping
Priority passes membership.

A bottle of wine when I dine at a partner restaurant, Free night stay at per year in
one of there partner hotels, Airport transfers when booking flight with Citi travel

Large number of airline partners, $500 dollar gift card if I book over $10k in travel

Good travel insurance benefits, Concierge service

And the biggest incentive I can see with this is I do not pay for the privilege of using
the card as no one asked up to pay 1.5 to 3 % on Visa.


As for cost of your card well I pay $4600 now so an extra $400 is nether neither here nor there.

However why do members in Australia pay so much more and get a lot less benefits than members in other county’s?

[TABLE="width: 516"]
[TR]
[TD]Country
[/TD]
[TD]Annual fee/limit
[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD]United States
[/TD]
[TD]US$2,500 ($1,500 for each additional card member) plus one-time fee of $7,500
[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD]United Kingdom
[/TD]
[TD]£1,800 (unlimited)
[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD]Canada
[/TD]
[TD]CA$2,500 plus one-time fee of $5,000 ($7,500)
[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD]Italy
[/TD]
[TD]€3,000
[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD]France, Spain, Netherlands, Denmark, and Sweden
[/TD]
[TD]€2,000 ($50,000)
[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD]Germany, Austria
[/TD]
[TD]€2,000 plus one-time fee of €2,000 ($70,000)
[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD]Switzerland
[/TD]
[TD]CHF 4,200 (unlimited)
[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD]Australia
[/TD]
[TD]AU$4,300 (increase to AU$5,000 from July 11th, 2012) plus one-time fee of AU$5,000 (from July 11th, 2012) ($50,000)
[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD]Japan
[/TD]
[TD]JPY\365,000($4,550)(increase to JPY197,000 from Jan 1st, 2008)
[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD]Hong Kong
[/TD]
[TD]HK$19,800 plus one-time fee of HK$23,800 (unlimited)
[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD]Singapore
[/TD]
[TD]SG$5,000 (unlimited)
[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD]Mexico
[/TD]
[TD]About 56,000 pesos ($4,000)
[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD]Brazil
[/TD]
[TD]R$4250 ($100,000)
[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD]Argentina
[/TD]
[TD]About 20,000 pesos ($40,000)
[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD]Saudi Arabia
[/TD]
[TD]SAR 11,250 (unlimited)
[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD]International Dollar Currency Card (IDC)
[/TD]
[TD]US$2,800
[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD]International Euro Currency Card (IEC)
[/TD]
[TD]€2,800
[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD]Israel
[/TD]
[TD]7,000₪ (US$2,000)
[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD]Russia
[/TD]
[TD]90,000 rubles (~ US$3,000)
[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD]Taiwan
[/TD]
[TD]TWD$160,000 (~US$5,450)
[/TD]
[/TR]
[TR]
[TD]Lebanon
[/TD]
[TD]US$3,000
[/TD]
[/TR]
[/TABLE]




I had a great call from my relationship manager; I suggested that perhaps if the senior management spent a day a month on the phone talking to the centurion clients, they might
get a better understanding of how we the cardholders feel.

Finally I offer you some insight with regards a community that talks about your card and
a lot of them are Centurion members, The Australian Frequent Flyers.

http://www.australianfrequentflyer....s/new-centurion-annual-fee-joining-40776.html

I am happy to discus this with you at any time and hope you do not take my comment as overly critical as I have said I like American Express.



Kind regards.

 

[medhead]

My suggestions:

1. Remove the paragraph where you calculate the income from your card. It adds nothing and they already know what your worth. Just say that you feel Amex obtain a significant benefit from your use of the card.
2. Remove the cost comparison table with other countries. Again they know all that. You simply need to state that the card is cheaper in other countries with more benefits (as you have done) and that the info is readily available on the web.
3. Remove the reference to AFF. This is about your view not AFFs view. Also you're introducing the details of other customers that they can't discuss with you. That gives them an easy out.
4. All that extra info makes it hard for me to see your point. Are you just asking them to explain the discrepancy. Or do you what something from them? I'd suggest having 1 main point/request and focusing on building to that request.
5. I'd cut down all the detail about the Citibank card. For example just say better points earn, you don't need the detail of the points earn. State your comparison points as a focus on the difference or otherwise. For example (note I don't know if these are true) better points earn, better range of partners, equivalent concierge service, etc.
6. Is the free bottle of wine a significant benefit? Does it make you sound cheap that you'll take any old free bottle of wine over something better if you have to pay?
7. Use "however" instead of "now to my complaint".

There are some spelling mistakes that should be spotted by spell checker.


Sent from the Throne

 

[JessicaTam]

I agree with medhead that you need to remove some of the detail in order to make sure your point is clear. To my eye I am not sure what that is - reduced points earn/merchant surcharge/higher cost?

 

[Dyslexic traveler]

Thank you for your help. The main reason why i was prompted to do the letter was my account manager suggested I do so, I think the main point is that they continue to erode benefits and put up the cost, I have taken on your comments, and have adjusted the letter to be more to the point.

I find it hard to put into a letter what I feel, and am more your face to face type of person.

Again thank you.

 

[markis10]

If you are going to mention AFF, it might be worth putting in a link that reverts to a poll from members on the subject you are writing about, reinforcing the fact that while you have taken the time to write, others feel just as strong on the issues you choose to communicate over.

 

[Dyslexic traveler]

Thank you for the feedback