The Midlife Crisis thread

[mel-world]

I might have to start a 'Grumpy old retirees' thread over the weekend.

 

[tgh]

That leave me out.. I'm not grumpy.. well mostly not anyway….

 

[Kiwi_Flyer]

I don't consider I'm having a mid-life crisis but ...

Milestone birthday earlier this year
Noticeably changed attitude and outlook (working to live instead of living to work)
Finally got off my cough and into regular exercise (loving it and wondering why I left it so long)

 

[Seat0B]

One day in 1995, aged 35, as I drove my 2 squabbling children home from after-school activities in my Ford Falcon family sedan to my mortgaged suburban house having left my Public Service job at exactly 5pm, I realised that other than being one grade higher in the APS than the statistics suggested, I was TOTALLY, mediocre-ly exactly a statistical average of Canberra residents. I burst into tears and sobbed most of the rest of the drive home. Definitely that was my mid-life crisis. After chatting with Mr Seat 0A, we made a few changes:

1996 - I quit my APS job and started a small business providing training in procurement, contract mangement and project management for government. He also left the military after 20 years, and joined a new employer where he stayed for a further 20 years (what a loyal employee!).
2001 - passed audit for my business to become a registered training organisation, and went on to become either the largest or the second largest (depending how you measure it) provider of this training to all three levels of government in Australia. At peak, we employed 27 staff and contractors, and over the life of the business, our business gave work to more than 300 people. I feel good about that.
2005 - using the increased financial position from being a business owner, paid off the mortgage on house and upgraded mortgage free, to a new lovely home where we still live now. Started socking away superannunation at an accelerated rate (aged 45).
2010 - started the holiday habit, with WP status conferred by benefit of a lot of work travel
2011 - had a group of employees steal my IP (course ware) and sell it to my clients for their own profit, some of them whilst still employed by me. Took legal action which was ultimately successful, and saw some financial recovery, but several just went bankrupt to avoid paying me. In the end, I did not even recover my full outlays on legal costs. This whole thing ate several years of my life and was a real torment, as until that point, I had always seen the best in everyone, and had really been rewarded for that approach to life. I was 51 when it stared, 53 when it finished, and things were tough, financially and emotionally. Overseas travel had to take a back seat for quite a few years.

From that point, I just put my shoulder to the wheel, and worked hard to dig out of the troubles, financially and emotionally. By 2017, I was back in a good spot, and able to sell my business to one of the staff who runs it to this day. Since 2017, I have only taken jobs I love for clients I like and respect, and honestly, if it keeps going like that, I don't think I will ever fully retire. I love this stage of my working life.

Along the way, I've stayed married for 39 years to the same bloke (made a good pick when I started to date him at just 21 years of age, married at 24). We've raised two wonderful kids (a daughter and a son), supported them financially through university and seen them both settled into careers they enjoy. We also now enjoy our first grandchild from our daughter - looking forward to many more. Everything people say about being a grandparent is true!!!!

We are financially well off, and I love my life and the travel I've done. Blessed to still have my mum with us at the age of 89, and doing well. I really feel very satisfied and grateful for all the things that have led me to this point.

Regular people here on AFF know I found the COVID years very hard - it really damaged my faith in Australia the way states locked down and locked their on residents out, and how poorly the Australian governmenet treated overseas resident Australian citizens like Seat Son, and even worse the shabby treatment of Indian-Australian citizens. I still feel ashamed of that time. It also bothered me that my travel was curtailed, just at the point I finally had the time and money to indulge myself.

I had this ready to post but ran out of time on my way to an appointment with my doctor on Friday - where I got some life changing medical news with the unexpected diagnosis of hairy cell leukaemia (rare) and Bernard Soulier syndrome (even rarer clotting disorder). Now into the medical mill for more tests to determine treatment options. Feeling a bit dazed, but overall, seems like treatment is intense and unpleasant, but long term results are expected to be good. I really hope so.

 

[Seat0B]

Thanks for the love everyone. I think my takeaway for the mid-life crisis thread is to be sure to enjoy your life along the way - you never know what’s around the corner. You do need to save for your retirement, but you also need to enjoy getting to retirement.

 

[Kiwi_Flyer]

Less than 9 months after starting exercising and I've done a quarter marathon, 2 half marathons, and 2 full marathons (on consecutive days including bush trails). I've already signed up for more trail runs and marathons.

I think this is a healthy mid life crisis to have, compared with some alternatives.

 

[Franky]

Less than 9 months after starting exercising and I've done a quarter marathon, 2 half marathons, and 2 full marathons (on consecutive days including bush trails). I've already signed up for more trail runs and marathons.

I think this is a healthy mid life crisis to have, compared with some alternatives.

That said, I would suggest get on a bike. I did much the same as you, and now have 2 x TKR since 2009. I have to admit being fit though, at 40 I was the same weight as the day I joined the Navy as a 15 year old, a measly 10 stone 3 pounds....

 

[tgh]

I think this is a healthy mid life crisis to have, compared with some alternatives

You are doing very well but imo too much too soon and risking injury.
It takes very little time to ramp up aerobic fitness but years to habituate your body to the stress.
A mate has done a similar process and is in all sorts of trouble because the ageing body could not match the fitness.

 

[Ade]

I don't consider I'm having a mid-life crisis but ...

Milestone birthday earlier this year
Noticeably changed attitude and outlook (working to live instead of living to work)
Finally got off my cough and into regular exercise (loving it and wondering why I left it so long)

Less than 9 months after starting exercising and I've done a quarter marathon, 2 half marathons, and 2 full marathons (on consecutive days including bush trails). I've already signed up for more trail runs and marathons.

I think this is a healthy mid life crisis to have, compared with some alternatives.

Hats off to you @Kiwi_Flyer for what you were able to achieve in 9 or so months!

If only I could find a speck of motivation to get off my a** and start doing any form of exercise ... I find it very daunting - the very idea of going to gym or a walk or doing any physical activity ... I do pay for the gym do (auto-debit) ... My work keeps me in front of the computer 18 hours a day ... after one is done with work, the last thing coming to mind is physical activity ... all I want after a day's work is Netflix!

I know not how to find the motivation ...

 

[CaptJCool]

The struggle is no one tells you how exercise or lack of affects your physical body
And if stopped for awhile how the life stage seriously affects you “getting back into it”

And the fact one must take it slowly and build Upto the old fitness levels over weeks and months

Often feels like a lot of effort for no big reward.

 

[love_the_life]

The struggle is no one tells you how exercise or lack of affects your physical body
And if stopped for awhile how the life stage seriously affects you “getting back into it”

And the fact one must take it slowly and build Upto the old fitness levels over weeks and months

Often feels like a lot of effort for no big reward.

My problem is I find walking for the sake of it pointless. If I have to walk to get somewhere OK (to a point) but the idea of 'going for a walk' type exercise I loathe. The more people try to encourage me, the more annoyed I become. I would much prefer just to walk on a treadmill than actually go out - but don't tend to keep up any gym membership and there is no room here for a treadmill.

 

[tgh]

walking for the sake of it pointless

Set goals.. be a goal person.. decide how far and how fast ….set the watch and do it.. or accept ( self inflicted) punishment as a failure
Next week do it faster or longer or both and don't stop… your longevity almost certainly depends on it...

 

[Quickstatus]

Is there a Pre-Midlife Crisis?

 

[tgh]

Is there a post mid life crisis ?

 

[Franky]

Is there a Pre-Midlife Crisis?

Probably, but it was so long ago I've forgotten...

 

[wandering_fred]

Well hopefully mid 70s can be considered mid-life?
There are many forms of wandering
Fred

 

[JohnK]

Is there a Pre-Midlife Crisis?

How about those still stuck in their teens?

 

[bashworth]

My mid life crisis was in 1989 at 35 with a good job in the UK. Started wondering if I was just lucky or had real skills.
Emigrated to Australia with my wife and two children under 8 with no job to see if I could start again.
Best decision ever not regretted it for a single day.

 

[drron]

My problem is I find walking for the sake of it pointless. If I have to walk to get somewhere OK (to a point) but the idea of 'going for a walk' type exercise I loathe. The more people try to encourage me, the more annoyed I become. I would much prefer just to walk on a treadmill than actually go out - but don't tend to keep up any gym membership and there is no room here for a treadmill.

Fortunately I am the opposite. I love going for a walk. sometimes U have an agenda but sometimes just take it as it comes. Especially so when I am travelling. Sometimes some really interesting moments.

 

[Kiwi_Flyer]

Hats off to you @Kiwi_Flyer for what you were able to achieve in 9 or so months!

If only I could find a speck of motivation to get off my a** and start doing any form of exercise ... I find it very daunting - the very idea of going to gym or a walk or doing any physical activity ... I do pay for the gym do (auto-debit) ... My work keeps me in front of the computer 18 hours a day ... after one is done with work, the last thing coming to mind is physical activity ... all I want after a day's work is Netflix!

I know not how to find the motivation ...

I go for an early morning walk - on work days between 12 & 18km, longer in the weekends. It's great me time and then i don't have to worry about finding time in the rest of the day.