A bit of humour

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I call my toothpaste ‘Death’.
Then I tell people, “I had a brush with Death this morning.

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If the earth was flat, cats would have pushed everything off it by now.

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At my funeral, take the bouquet off my coffin and throw it into the crowd to see who is next.

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When I worked at the United Nations, I was asked to get Kofe Annan a gram of cocaine.
I picked up the phone. “Kofi,“, I said, “right now the only one I can think of is oceanic’.
 
Joke 1


Bread is a lot like the sun: it rises in the yeast and it sets in the waist.


Joke 2


Try to remember that the green grass across the fence may be due to a septic tank issue.


Joke 3


Driver: “What am I supposed to do with this speeding ticket?
Officer: “Keep it and, when you collect four of them, you get a bicycle.

Joke 4

I just got pulled over by the cops.
He said “I can smell alcohol.
I told him that’s because he wasn’t social distancing.

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This happened yesterday and is important information for our age group, especially those of us over 65.


A friend had his 3rd dose of the vaccine - the “booster” at a pharmac_, after which he began to have blurred vision on the way home.

When he did get home, he immediately called the pharmac_ for advice about seeing a doctor, or to be hospitalized.

He was told NOT to go to a doctor or a hospital, but to immediately return to the pharmac_ and pick up his glasses.
 

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