“Yes, yes, yes….” I was agitated now “besides the suite upgrade, executive lounge access, a free drink, or several, at the bar, free breakfast, top notch champagne (free) in the room, a car park view, fluffy towels, a
Corby Trouser Press, early check in, reading lights, complimentary smoking jacket,
Goblin Teasmade, 24 hour on call butler, king size bed, desk with leather chair, and a shower rather than a bath, what are the two most important requirements?”.
“errr……errr…..” Griselda spluttered.
I needed a different approach, “well let’s look at it from the other side what don’t I like?”
That did not work either as Griselda listed everything she had previously listed but in the negative.
“A fridge, and at least one power point on the left-hand side of the bed.” I exclaimed. How on earth had she found me a room with neither? It was, admittedly, near to the end of summer in Northern Illinois but it was still warm and a fridge is essential to keep the milk, and Coates Navy Strength Gin chilled.
I was close to the end of my three-month sojourn to Mexico and the USA, or so I thought.......
“What do you mean I can’t get back to the US without another side trip to Mexico for 14 days?” I was scheduled to spend three weeks in Blighty and then head back to the Colonies. I had been looking forward to three weeks in civilisation at the East Anglian pile.
“The US government has not relaxed restrictions on those that have spent some time, in the last fourteen days, in the UK, and for that matter countries in the Schengen Area.” Griselda unhelpfully pointed out.
“So what does that mean for me, what are my options?” I was already resigned for the worst – an extension of my stay in the USA.
“I can cancel and rebook your return US to UK flights for December/January.”
To be fair I could almost live with this, despite one or two states reintroducing face masks for indoors there were little to no restrictions on travel internally and my devoted fan base would be keen to see more of me.
“You will have to go to Mexico for a couple of days to reset your ESTA.” Griselda stated quietly.
“What on earth is an ESTA?” was all I could manage but the bigger issue was the need to go to Mexico again, even if it was for a “couple of days”. It transpires that an ESTA is a VISA that allows one to spend 90 days in the USA and I needed to leave and re-enter the USA if I was to stay longer. This would never have happened in
Mr Nixon’s day. (My favourite US President by far.)
Now I am an easy going sort of chap, mmmm let me put that another way, I am not remotely easy going and the prospect of heading to Mexico, even if it was only for two day and at the airport Hilton, did not fill me with joy. I wondered if anyone else in the world had suffered at the hands of Covid-19 as much as I had. The champagne in my fridge less room was practically tepid for heaven’s sake.
Things were grim and after a consultation with Griselda I was able to get the valves working on the in-room cinema thingy and settled back to a documentary about a popular music group. I’m not one for modern new-fangled music but I could see the attraction of this Liverpudlian four-piece ensemble. I even found my toes tapping along to some of the tunes, and particularly enjoyed the
archive footage from the
Ed Sullivan Show. (Makes me wonder why they were never on
Parkinson.) Apparently, these chaps were quite popular in the 1960’s – who knew? I do wonder if they produced any records, if they did I might fire up the gramophone when I get home….assuming I ever get home.
So here I am, stuck in Illinois, at a hotel with a 1970's decor and where I have to wear a mask, facing a long holiday weekend. To be fair at least the US still celebrates the
Battle of Crecy, we seem to have forgotten it back in Blighty. At the very least there should be a public holiday as there is in the US. I suppose at least I could look forward to
Poitiers,
Agincourt and
Trafalgar days in the coming months, such a pity I am not able to reach Quebec to celebrate.