Diary of a DYKWIA 2013

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Berlin is a place I had not been to before, and whilst it was dark when I arrived I was a little surprised at how run down parts of the city were. My assumption was that these parts had previously been in East Berlin. The Hilton was excellent. A King Exec was my upgraded room and the exec lounge was one of the best I have been in on my limited Hilton stays. The mini cheeseburgers and mini pizzas were quite "moreish".

Unusually for me I did take some time to site see and walked down to the Reichstag and The Brandenburg Gate. I do like the Germans and I pay them the ultimate compliment of being the antithesis of the French.

The Brandenburg Gate never seems quite right to me anymore. There should be taxis and tourist buses driving underneath it, no buildings so close to it, and makeshift stalls all along the Unter den Linden side with people selling pieces of the wall, Babushka/Matryoshka dolls, assorted communist souvenirs/paraphrenalia .... ahhhh, the old days of the early 90s. ;)
 
Plan ..... some ..... more ...... Economy ........ trips????
WHY? :confused::p
Economy trips are character building?

I don't know but for some reason business class trips are boring except for maybe Virgin Atlantic and sitting at the bar. Had some really good conversations Christmas Day 2012 and was disappointed last month when I was in premium economy to find out the bar is only for business class customers.
 
Economy trips are character building?

I don't know but for some reason business class trips are boring except for maybe Virgin Atlantic and sitting at the bar. Had some really good conversations Christmas Day 2012 and was disappointed last month when I was in premium economy to find out the bar is only for business class customers.

JohnK: I don't know you- or TonyHancock - other than your AFF persona. However, I can't imagine that either of you needs any more character building! :) :)

And you, JohnK, do report a lot of unhappy experiences with your Y flying. So why not go for the "boredom" of J, or even take the plunge and become addicted to the total boredom of F, where it is fairly certain that nobody will recline on you, hog your armrest, or steal your carry on space? :)

Give it a go? :p
 
Great banter! Tony Hancocks trip report has kept me chuckling all weekend ... Hic!
You should write a book - you have a great style :-)
Chocsaway
 
Great banter! Tony Hancocks trip report has kept me chuckling all weekend ... Hic!
You should write a book - you have a great style :-)
Chocsaway

Squadron Leader: It's perfectly ordinary banter, Squiffy. Bally Jerry ... pranged his kite right in the how's yer father ... hairy blighter, dicky-birdied, feathered back on his Sammy, took a waspy, flipped over on his Betty Harper's and caught his can in the Bertie.

Bovril: No, I'm just not understanding banter at all well today. Give us it slower.

Squadron Leader: Banter's not the same if you say it slower, Squiffy.
 
I have spent two days pressing F5 (that is the key my computer not First Class availability!) on my saved flight availability query on ExpertFlyer. I know it is sad but how I love to see Y0. Alas I have not seen Y0 for QF9, I have unfortunately seen a lot of Y9. This is highly unsatisfactory. F9 (That really is First Class availability rather than the key on my computer) gave me hope until Thursday when it turned into a rather poor F2 (yep still first Class availability!). :shock: This obsession with availability is beginning to concern me, although not enough to do anything about it!!

Do you not use the automated notifications so you get an email when availability and/or seats change?
 
Why have I only seen this now. As soon as I saw DYKWIA I knew I was in for a treat. Keep up the good work.
 
March 2013 Part Three

"Yes OK the new safety video is a step up from the rather absurd cricket video but it is not worthy of dragging the CSM over to tell her" I thought to myself as the chap in 2K went on and on and on and on about the safety video he believed was the best he had ever seen. He was still going on about it as we disembarked in SIN...but I am getting way ahead of myself.

1K was a new seat for me. My first impressions were good, like 1A it does have a more enclosed feel about it than the other seats and it was on my preferred side of the 380. The most annoying thing about the F seats on the 380 is the place for magazines/safety card/My iPad!

F-Seat.jpg
Thanks to whoever originally uploaded the pic.

Why on earth is it held in place with press studs. Every single flight I have taken it has come away from its fixing and dumped the contents on the floor.

I still don't really understand champagne. It's OK but it is not my thing really, however I did enjoy the olives and almonds, and due to a minor technical issue that kept us on the ground for an extra half hour I felt compelled to consume an extra glass or two of the champagne.

QFF.jpg
The view from 1K.

"Potato and Leek soup followed by the pork please" I heard myself say. It had been preceded by "sparkling mineral water" a phrase rarely heard from my lips. I hardly needed the crumbed pork with carrots and potatoes, but thought I would try it anyway. It proved excellent, in fact probably the best dish I have had in QF F. (I'm not a fan of Neil Perry) What topped it off for me was the hot english Mustard. The SC Pannell Shiraz Grenache was pleasant, but I can't help feeling QF is lowering it's standards in the wine department. It doesn't seem that long ago that I was polishing off bottles of RWT in F. (Mind you with riff-raff like me quaffing away in F it could be argued that it is dropping it's standards in pax too!:p)

The cheese platter at least included a blue varietal and the dessert wine, a Riesling from Tasmania that I was far to #ahem# "happy" to remember the name of went down rather easily......hic!

A much reported issue with the A380, and not just in F, is the noise from conversation. The A380 is very quiet, and with decent noise cancelling headphones is a dream to fly from the background noise perspective.....but conversations can be clearly heard. :shock: That is why I know that "Mr Safety Video" in 2K absolutely loves the new QF safety video. He just would not shut up about it, to the extent that I paid extra interest on my next leg to see if I could pick up the greatness of this sure to be Oscar nominated effort. He wittered on for what seemed like hours and spoilt my mini stupor.

The EK SIN lounge was, well, pretty much the same has it had been the previous Monday, and the Friday two weeks ago. It was quiet and relaxing. I didn't have the fillet steak this week, but did have a "semi" non alcoholic G&T. (Bombay Sapphire for those keen to know the spirits offering in the EK lounge.) I vowed to have an alcohol free QF1.

OK, the Safety Video is definitely an improvement upon the cricket one, but it is not exactly up there with the NZ Bear Grylls video. :?:

"The St Hallet Shiraz would be lovely please", I said, breaking my vow immediately, "and perhaps a cheese platter rather than the main meal". I was on board QF1 and sitting in 3A. I wasn't at all tired. In retrospect I hadn't really got back on to Australian time following my last jaunt - an occupational hazard. In fact I was wide awake and in need on something to help me sleep. The Glenlivet did the trick, mmm it was third one or perhaps a combination of the three that actually did the trick. zzzzzzzzzzz and time to wake up!!!

A light bird seed (I think they called it muesli) breakfast and a cup of tea was actually just the tonic I needed to pick me up before landing. (I had a slight fuzziness in my head).

As usual our arrival was a complete surprise to the LHR ground staff who took a good 15 minutes to get the aerobridges sorted out. Ten minutes later I was sitting on the floor outside of the lost property office awaiting the 7:00 AM opening time. :-|

The AA arrivals lounge is OK, it is a little dingy but it served it's purpose. Breakfast wasn't too bad. I needed the bacon, sausage and egg after the birdseed starter on board QF1.

I killed an hour or so before heading off to Europcar to collect yet another non upgraded Vauxhall Insignia that appeared to have not been placed in a demolition derby. :shock:

Do you not use the automated notifications so you get an email when availability and/or seats change?

I have done occasionally, but four hours before take off the OCD kicks in!!!
 
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I'm sorry to hear you ordered mineral water and alcohol free qf1.
 
I'm sorry to hear you ordered mineral water and alcohol free qf1.

Keep up, please. It was only a vow! :)

On a much more serious note, I'm sorry to hear that you don't understand Champagne.
But if that's the case, then please leave the stocks for the rest of us.
I promise to leave my share of the pre-take off almonds for you in return, TH. :p
 
JohnK: I don't know you- or TonyHancock - other than your AFF persona. However, I can't imagine that either of you needs any more character building! :) :)
I need more character! ;)

And you, JohnK, do report a lot of unhappy experiences with your Y flying. So why not go for the "boredom" of J, or even take the plunge and become addicted to the total boredom of F, where it is fairly certain that nobody will recline on you, hog your armrest, or steal your carry on space? :)

Give it a go? :p
The unhappy experiences are there in business as well. Just stay away from my flights. :p

You do know what they say about golf pros putting for pars and dogs chasing cars....
 
I need more character! ;)


The unhappy experiences are there in business as well. Just stay away from my flights. :p

You do know what they say about golf pros putting for pars and dogs chasing cars....

Actually, no. I'm sure I don't. :)
 
March 2013 Part Four

As I write this I am at the end of my second trip to Blighty in four weeks. I haven't had a weekend at home for over a month.
:shock: On this trip I consider myself lucky, an op-up to F on my first leg from Australia, followed by a points upgrade to F, and then a FASA back o Melbourne. At least the journey was a little less unpleasant.

I have decided to pursue a best price policy for car rental on the basis that all the providers appear to me to be rubbish. The Vauxhall Integra supplied by Europcar looked like it had been driven to destruction in a stock car race. I am yet to experience an upgrade in Blighty despite clocking up over 60 rental days there last year. Avis is no better.

Hilton served me well again. I know I do rather witter on about it but I absolutely love that VA status match. Only three nights for me, but all were mighty fine, including a King Junior Suite at the Birmingham Metropole.

Hilton-NEC.jpg
Junior Suite at the NEC Hilton

The Holiday Inn at Wolverhampton sees little of me these days.....and I felt guilty checking in for one night. There is a delightful lady from the Caribbean behind the desk, who always remembers my name and has the most beautiful accent. She is just lovely, but sadly wasted on the Holiday Inn. I do feel rather guilty when only checking in for the one night.


I contemplated checking in online for my return and not going to the QF check in desk at LHR, but in a bout of incompetence managed to lose my seat selection in QF10 from SIN to MEL.

LHR T3 is dreadful in just about every way. The F check in is even made to feel shoddy. It just looks run down. I received my "voucher" for the F lounge restaurant so raced off to what is amusingly known as Fastrack Security. You have to love the British sense of humour and irony.

I felt like Basil Fawlty must have felt when his car broke down. I wanted to grab the nearest tree branch and just beat the x-ray machine. (Actually I really wanted to beat the idiot that dreamt up LHR's security process.)

VAT refunds. Unfortunately AFF's policy on expletives does not allow me to enunciate my true feelings about this process. I cleverly, or so I thought, avoided the long queues landside and headed to the queue of nine people airside. These nine people were queuing in order to receive a stamp to enable them to join a queue of six people to get a refund. The processing time for the former seemed to be about 15 minutes per person. Overall a well designed process to deter people claiming their rightful refund. I opted out and began my traditional duty free run. (It hardly seemed worth it for GBP27.50)

A trip to Blighty is not complete without buying Swarovski Crystal from the boutique in Harrods. It is also not complete without me uttering 'I'll just pop to Thomas Pink whilst you turn the store upside down for the correct box'. This visit was no different. Thomas Pink duly delivered to me one of their excellent Traveller Shirts and Harrods finally stumped up the Swarovski Crystal in the correct box, and I would probably avoid a chilly reception at home. :cool:

I had decided to attempt slumber on QF2 and that meant avoiding eating early on. I decided to finally try the BA F Lounge restaurant. It is an odd little room with tables arranged against the windows and set for one person. I suspect many here would love the the views over, what I am reliably informed, is the the apron. (It's all beyond me.) It is a bit posher than the QF SYD or MEL F lounges, but not as nice...if that makes sense. I fitted in much as a duck enjoys life without water. It was relatively empty but reeked of pretentiousness, which made me wonder why I was not thoroughly enjoying it. I have had tens of opportunities to "enjoy" the F dining but have never felt like I wanted too. I typically enjoy the BA burger in the main lounge, and the wine is no different, tonight I made the decision to eat early rather than in-flight....although I suspect this means I'll eat twice.

BA-F-Rest.jpg

Carrot and Parsley soup followed by roast chicken with mange tout (snow peas - which I believe is the correct term....why anyone would prefer a French term is beyond me......even though I just used it myself.) and mashed potatoes proved to be surprisingly good. The Chilean Syrah was not bad at all.

The main F lounge was unusually empty, but I'm not quite sure what to deduce from that. The 18 year old Glenlivet passed the quality test......two or three times just to be sure, and I managed to squeeze my new Thomas Pink Shirt into my rollaboard. Preparations were complete for the hike to Gate 1. Unlike two weeks ago there was no rush to get to the gate. Acres of locker space awaited me.......as did a chilled sparkling water. I'm really getting fed up of the sparkling white wine stuff. :p

My carefully selected 3K was not to serve me well. Mr and Mr have a chat in 2F and 2K were unbearably annoying. The giggly FA didn't help matters either as she blocked the aisle chatting away to the chuckle brothers.

To be fair QF does F well, and it wasn't long before an utterly charming FA, had me settled in with my pyjamas and amenity kit. For the first time ever I changed into pyjamas on a flight. I have always felt a little uncomfortable, and I think I still would in J, but it proved to be an excellent move. :)

Steak sandwich with the Yarra Yering Dry Red No1 2004, followed by an apple and rhubarb crumble with ice cream with the Riesling dessert wine, was all very nice. I slipped into an alcohol induced coma for almost 9 hours then.

I had decided to be sensible about the wine and had chosen the Yarra Yering because it was low in alcohol.(Only 13%) Fortunately it was not low in body and went rather well with the steak sandwich.

When I awoke I found the crew to be a fraction less attentive that I would have hoped...although his was put right by the arrival of my favourite FA who soon had me eating breakfast.

Why is it that airlines fail so miserably with breakfast? I opted for the scrambled eggs, pork and leek sausage, braised beans, and mushrooms. Unusually the scrambled eggs were not too bad, the beans were awful, the sausage dry and overlooked whilst the mushrooms were passable. The toast was, as it always is, barely edible. Bread, rolls apart, never seems to be good in flight. I always find it chewy with hard crusts. The English Breakfast tea served as a mighty fine pick me up.

The Emirates lounge with it's welcoming empty couches, fully stocked bar, and half decent food is, and has been a delight over the last four weeks. A couple of stiff G&T's and I was feeling rather marvellous. What is more I was on annual leave, two whole weeks. That of course doesn't stop customers and my boss continuing to contact me. Two calls whilst in the SIN lounge.

EK-SIN.jpg

I'm not sure what has happened at SIN, priority boarding was always handled so well, but now it is really a bit of a free for all. The lanes are there but the volume of pax milling around the boarding area makes it incredibly difficult to get to the priority lane.

Nine glorious hours of sleep on QF2 meant I was wide awake and completely out of sync for my return to Australia. Absolutely lovely crew, fabulous FA looking after me, although to be fair she was so engaging she could have treated me as badly as QF used to a year or so ago, and I would have still been happy. I guess being drop dead gorgeous was in her favour, but she was so engaging and pleasant, with the most incredible smile, it was a pleasure being a passenger. I was almost enjoying flying. I suspect for her having to deal with a middle aged, overweight, balding halfwitted DYKWIA probably wasn't the highlight of her day.

I opted for a low alcohol, well it was only 13%, Yarra Yering Dry Red No 1 2004, and my oh my it went down rather well. Hic.

Thank god we have metal eating weaponry back on QF. I am certain I could not have cut the bread without it. A hacksaw would have been more appropriate but the metal knife was not bent completely out of shape hacking through the wholemeal slice.

The ham hock was tasty and quite filling, when did Fred Perry start creating simple and tasty dishes? Actually I take that back, the main courses were Tomato, Basil and Olive Linguini, Stir Fried Black Pepper Prawns, and Chicken Kapitan with Roti Canai, I have no idea what the latter was. I would have gone for the prawns but I tend to choose my wine first and then make the meal match...........another steak sandwich it was then!

For the last 10 years dessert has always been cheese.....but with Apple and Rhubarb crumble, and Sticky Toffee pudding my habit was changing. I'm also a recent convert to the dessert wine. Hic

Sticky Toffee Pudding with Vanilla Cream was too tempting and I am growing rather fond of the Frogmore Creek Iced Riesling. I was not disappointed.

Sleep was not going to be an option so the new BBC production of The Lady Vanishes was to be my viewing pleasure. Why did the BBC remake this? It was not a patch on Hitchcock movie.....even though Keeley Hawes was in it. Watchable but disappointing would be my review.

I'm not sure whether it was the bottle of red and the bottle of dessert wine or the point in Dan Snow's documentary about the British railways where the bubble burst for the first time causing a run on gold that sent me into a short nap, but either way it was two hours before I awoke.

Breakfast was just a cup of tea, I really didn't feel like eating and held off the vodka in a bid to give my liver a short holiday, before the onslaught of the five day NZ v England Test Match.
 
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Nine glorious hours of sleep on QF2 meant I was wide awake and completely out of sync for my return to Australia. Absolutely lovely crew, fabulous FA looking after me, although to be fair she was so engaging she could have treated me as badly as QF used to a year or so ago, and I would have still been happy. I guess being drop dead gorgeous was in her favour, but she was so engaging and pleasant, with the most incredible smile, it was a pleasure being a passenger. I was almost enjoying flying. I suspect for her having to deal with a middle aged, overweight, balding halfwitted DYKWIA probably wasn't the highlight of her day.

Hey Tony,

Would her name start with a "M" and end in an "A" (not going to mention names on here, dont think its appropriate) if so, then yes, she is great.. was well looked after on the way home from LAX when i wasnt feeling 100%..
 
Hey Tony,

Would her name start with a "M" and end in an "A" (not going to mention names on here, dont think its appropriate) if so, then yes, she is great.. was well looked after on the way home from LAX when i wasnt feeling 100%..

No her name beagn with G and ended in A. :)
 
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