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This not only happens in first class. My wife got an upgrade recently to business class 24 hours before flying from Bangkok (as a FF Gold) and likewise was not invited to place her order when the satff came around. When she insisted they take her order which they did, it was somewhat grudgingly. Was this practice because they wanted to make sure everybody elses choices were met before the upgrades were considered. Or heaven forbid was it that she was the only women in her vicinity in rthe cabin and Asian-Australian to boot. If it was the former that is just bad form, and if the latter inexcusable. Ultimately this is counterproductive, as we now seek out QF flights on EK metal. Enough food should be loaded to meet everybody's choices or otherwise don't offer them but make it on a strict first come first served basis. To seem to be discriminating for whatever reason is a very bad look.
It was neither sexist nor racist, and nothing to do with the upgrade.
It is quite common for meal orders in a full J cabin to be taken in status order by the FAs. No discrimination at all.
It's simply not possible to load enough food to meet everyone's first meal choice. Or at least not possible without wasting a lot of food and raising the ticket price accordingly.