Sorry but the "frugal traveller site" is too golden not to play with; After re-reading is it an old lost Monty Python script? Dead parrot parody.....
1) Call ahead to the property you are staying at. Talk to the general manager or concierge (someone in charge!) and remind them of any birthdays, anniversaries etc you’re celebrating. "what a brilliant idea, I reckon you would score a few bottles of wine and cake over a trip. only problem is you can use this trick at each hotel once a year but then if you take your family, get them all to have birthdays"
3) Carry a compass (or a compass app!), whether in non-grid layout cities or in the outdoors, it always comes in handy. "for what, impress chicks in bars?"
4) Always bring your noise canceling headphones. "so I spend $300 odd to buy the new NC Bose to leave them on the table at home"
9) Pack your things in plastic bags in your suitcase (no real added weight as it prevents your things from getting wet during travel, plastic bags are useful in the long run as many countries now charge for plastic bags at stores or don’t offer them at all). "yes, a must to save 10cents to buy a plastic bag to carry the beer back to the room. pockets are full of plastic bags and you could be mistaken for homeless person"
10) Always plan in advance. Designate place and time to meet back up, should you and your partner or group plan to separate while out. "no, seat of cough planning is much better. always a thrill finding that person in a crowd three weeks later"
13) Ask hotels for benefits for not having your sheets changed each night (i.e. bonus points). "get bigger brownie points for servicing your own room, make the bed, change towels, clean toilets.... Then if you are bored there is the hotel kitchen; washing up, even waiting or even try your hand at cooking!"
14) Be nice when traveling. I’ve been amazed at how many people help you when you smile and treat them with respect. "don't be silly, smack the first Customs officer right over the head with your passport. Then its best in a big city you have never been to tell the taxi driver where to go"
No more; have better things to do in my life