Funny things overheard on a plane

[Major]

On a VA flight some time ago...remember to take all your belongings with you or they will be listed on E bay tonight.

 

[drewbles]

I was thinking about funny things you may have overheard on a flight, or funny cabin announcements.
This is one a friend told me about.

From a Southwest Airlines employee: "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight , To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two small children, decide now which one you love more.

The Dyslexic Traveler

southwest flight attendant (pls read description) - YouTube

 

[drewbles]

I was flying from TSV to BNE one day and the wife said to the husband is this a A380 and he said no not today.

But we are going to MEL so maybe on that trip because it is such a long flight.

I don't think they where statused FF

Overheard during boarding a TSV-BNE flight on the w/end just gone...

"I hope we're on one of those planes with screens in the seat!"
'no I think we're in one of the little ones'
*two teenage girls who appeared to be 'BFF'ers crossing fingers and chanting 'please let it be a big one, please let it be a big one!*

It was a 734

 

[markis10]

Overheard on a TSV-BNE flight on the w/end just gone...

"I hope we're on one of those planes with screens in the seat!"
'no I think we're in one of the little ones'
*two teenage girls who appeared to be 'BFF'ers crossing fingers and chanting 'please let it be a big one, please let it be a big one!*

It was a 734

Surely that was pre flight rather than on the flight!

 

[drewbles]

I read about this one (allegedly true):

"Cabin crew please disarm doors and cross dress"

Very true. Happened on 2 AN flights once. The other one i've busted QF FA's on is 'Anyone for Heads*x? Heads*x anyone?' as they handed out headsets. I was startled from reading the magazine, and looked just at the FA as she gave a cheeky grin to me and said "Headset sir?" and half laughed.

 

[drewbles]

Surely that was pre flight rather than on the flight!

Yes it was sorry my badly worded post Fixed.

 

[markis10]

Once had two QF aircraft on radar heading west, one to PER and one to ADL ex SYD, had the PER bound one pop up and ask me to ask the ADL one where its passengers thought they were going, turned out the wrong passengers were loaded on each plane, no doubt some funny conversations on those planes!

 

[drewbles]

On a BI flight BWN/RGN the F/A told us to "not use any electronic device as it may change the plane"! :shock:

They'd clearly seen this:
http://strangebeaver.com/gallery/albums/uploads/cartoons/normal_bluetooth_airbus.jpg

 

[smit0847]

DJ used to make silly announcements all the time:

'anyone caught smoking will be asked to leave the plane immediately'
'any valuables left behind will be evenly distributed amongst the crew'
'i've had a very long day so hoping this flight goes quickly so I can get to bed'
'ladies and gentleman - welcome to .... hang on, where are we again?'

Some were funny, some were very annoying.

 

[ozbeachbabe]

They'd clearly seen this:
http://strangebeaver.com/gallery/albums/uploads/cartoons/normal_bluetooth_airbus.jpg

Funny cartoon!

I think we were on a 767. I still have my boarding passes from that trip back in 1996 complete with a/c rego noted on the back of all of them!

 

[jetlagger]

They'd clearly seen this:
http://strangebeaver.com/gallery/albums/uploads/cartoons/normal_bluetooth_airbus.jpg

Brilliant!

Sure hope that is not one of the 'enhancements" for QF inflight entertainment.. :shock:

 

[SeatBackForward]

They'd clearly seen this:
http://strangebeaver.com/gallery/albums/uploads/cartoons/normal_bluetooth_airbus.jpg

Ahh future Jetstar pilot training!

 

[irv]

I remember a number of years ago flying Rex from Sydney to Broken Hill, the only body of water we flew over was Menindee Lakes (then dry for 10 years) and being given the standard life jacket talk. Know that was standard but found it amusing.

 

[Simo]

I remember a number of years ago flying Rex from Sydney to Broken Hill, the only body of water we flew over was Menindee Lakes (then dry for 10 years) and being given the standard life jacket talk. Know that was standard but found it amusing.

Yep I had that safety talk as well and I was flying ASP to Ayers Rock

 

[moa999]

I remember a number of years ago flying Rex from Sydney to Broken Hill, the only body of water we flew over was Menindee Lakes (then dry for 10 years) and being given the standard life jacket talk. Know that was standard but found it amusing.

Depends on which way you takeoff/land at SYD.