Luxury Escapes - The People You Don't Meet

[Pushka]

Well, this has been an interesting thread.

Some responses are in general agreement with what I raised - that there doesn't appear to be much by way of social interaction among guests at five star places.

Other responses are along the lines that they are there on vacation to relax, and don't want to interact much with other guests - which in effect supports my observation in relation to five star places too.

It's not often that we get such a relatively strong concurrence on an issue.
Regards,
Renato

I don’t get the connection with the five star. I do the same in accommodation much lower rated. I don’t actually stay in five stars all that much due to cost.

 

[Renato1]

I don’t get the connection with the five star. I do the same in accommodation much lower rated. I don’t actually stay in five stars all that much due to cost.

My observation is that people are more chatty at lesser star places - not all of course - but it seems that way to me.
Regards,
Renato

 

[DC3]

There's plenty of people who just want a nice holiday and they may choose 5-star accommodation as part of it. They may not be wanting to find new besties or get involved in other guests business. Others will do the opposite.

They are all just doing their own thing, perhaps?

 

[amaroo]

My observation is that people are more chatty at lesser star places - not all of course - but it seems that way to me.
Regards,
Renato

I have the total opposite opinion. Having stayed in my fair share of both - there is bugger all difference!

 

[Renato1]

I have the total opposite opinion. Having stayed in my fair share of both - there is bugger all difference!

Thanks. That's why I asked the question of what people thought - I was wondering if my limited experience could be generalised. Your position is a Nay.
Cheers,
Renato

 

[p--and--t]

Not sure about the 5* bit, but would agree if you are staying at a quite small establishment (often a 1 to 3 star place) with a much smaller number of guests, they seem to be more chatty. Often more relaxed staff are a catalyst for this as well.

There is an old saying "it is easy to be lonely in a big city". Possibly could translate to very big flashy hotels where its impossible to know everybody so don't bother trying to know anybody.

In some of the higher priced larger establishments the staff are often (not always) more reserved and dealing with a larger number of clientele and VIPs and the emphasis is on "sophisticated" service & not offending anyone, especially those who consider themselves to be in a "higher class than mere wait staff".

But there are exceptions everywhere and YMMV.

 

[amaroo]

A fair chunk of the luxury lodges / resorts we've experienced have had the option for communal coughtails, dining, drinks, activities, etc - can't get more of a friendly talkative environment than that.

Have met and become friends with a wide range of interesting people over the years!

 

[Cossie]

Might not be 5 star, (but of course YMMV) but this just turned up and I'm very interested!

Meliá Resorts Ho Tram and Ho Chi Minh City (Ho Tram and Ho Chi Minh City) - Today's 2025/26 Deal - Luxury Escapes

Today's Meliá Resorts Ho Tram and Ho Chi Minh City Deal for Travel in 2025/2026 - Grand Opening City to Beachfront: Vietnam’s Newest Boutique Stays.

luxuryescapes.com

 

[Renato1]

Might not be 5 star, (but of course YMMV) but this just turned up and I'm very interested!

Meliá Resorts Ho Tram and Ho Chi Minh City (Ho Tram and Ho Chi Minh City) - Today's 2025/26 Deal - Luxury Escapes

Today's Meliá Resorts Ho Tram and Ho Chi Minh City Deal for Travel in 2025/2026 - Grand Opening City to Beachfront: Vietnam’s Newest Boutique Stays.

luxuryescapes.com

Price is good. I like the 120 sq meter rooms in the upgrade.
Cheers,
Renato

P.S. Airline prices to Saigon are a bit steep with Air Vietnam - they're at over $1800 for two people at the Luxury Escape site. I checked Jetstar for the same dates, and with the bundles it came to over $2000.

Shame there's no Jetstar Return-for-Free sale, which would take $800 off.

 

[GSP]

If the Resort had offered Pole Dancing classes, I wouldn't have attended those either.
Cheers,
Renato

I would! Straight after draining the reception supplies of US $1.00 bills.

 

[Renato1]

I would! Straight after draining the reception supplies of US $1.00 bills.

And what would one's wife say???!!!!
Cheers,
Renato

 

[mrsterryn]

Even though I have been retired a couple of years now I still am....perhaps anti social
My employment for quite a few years (a couple of decades plus )entailed me being pleasant to staff and clients . Talking all day long
I think I used all my words up
My husband on the other hand chats to all and sundry
I would probable be one of those people who just doesn't want to engage
I stay in five stars on occasions and two stars
Having said that apart from Aulani with a friend and her family I don't usually stay at resorts

 

[LadyC]

Yes, I am also one of those people who is probably considered anti-social as I am fairly quiet around people I don't know. The Gentleman is the one who will have a chat with everyone.

 

[GSP]

And what would one's wife say???!!!!
Cheers,
Renato

Probably "don't spend too much"!

 

[Antoallison]

I agree that many of the guests in 5 star hotels can be less open to engaging in conversation.

My husband is not a great traveller so I have often travelled alone and many years ago was booked into a top hotel in Auckland. However I found there was little opportunity to share a drink and conversation with any of the other guests after my day out sightseeing. I found it a bit lonely each evening with just me and my plush towelling bath robe in the huge hotel room with a view of the marina.

I googled accomodation further up the coast, I was looking for something with meals available, nice views, maybe a reading library, pleasant gardens and a more homely feel.

I was excited to find a weekend deal near Waipu in a beautiful new home and eco farm that had been featured in NZ Home Beautiful. It ticked all the boxes.

I was collected on Friday afternoon by a friendly and efficient woman wearing dungarees, who had a dog in the back of a ute. She told me all about the farm and her ‘partner’ and mentioned that drinks would be served on the deck overlooking the ocean at 6pm, when the other 11 weekend guests arrived.

The biggest surprise was that I spent a great weekend with fine wine, good home cooked meals, rambles near the coast and witty, intellectual conversation with 11 lesbians.

 

[DC3]

....I spent a great weekend with fine wine, good home cooked meals, rambles near the coast and witty, intellectual conversation ....

You could probably write a book about that weekend ....

 

[Renato1]

I agree that many of the guests in 5 star hotels can be less open to engaging in conversation.

My husband is not a great traveller so I have often travelled alone and many years ago was booked into a top hotel in Auckland. However I found there was little opportunity to share a drink and conversation with any of the other guests after my day out sightseeing. I found it a bit lonely each evening with just me and my plush towelling bath robe in the huge hotel room with a view of the marina.

I googled accomodation further up the coast, I was looking for something with meals available, nice views, maybe a reading library, pleasant gardens and a more homely feel.

I was excited to find a weekend deal near Waipu in a beautiful new home and eco farm that had been featured in NZ Home Beautiful. It ticked all the boxes.

I was collected on Friday afternoon by a friendly and efficient woman wearing dungarees, who had a dog in the back of a ute. She told me all about the farm and her ‘partner’ and mentioned that drinks would be served on the deck overlooking the ocean at 6pm, when the other 11 weekend guests arrived.

The biggest surprise was that I spent a great weekend with fine wine, good home cooked meals, rambles near the coast and witty, intellectual conversation with 11 lesbians.

Interesting thanks.

Funnily enough, I actually had very good chats with a bunch of gay guys in a 3 and a half star place in San Francisco (the place didn't charge to park my car, whereas everywhere else was charging more than what I was paying in car hire a day).
Cheers,
Renato

 

[SOPOOR]

I was looking at the other thread on Luxury Escapes and it prompted me to raise something that's been bugging me about staying at Five Star Resorts. We've only done the Fairmont at Sanur Beach in Bali and the Regency Hyatt at Hua Hin in Thailand. Despite my wife really enjoying the extra attention one gets in such places, I've decided that I'm really not that enthused by those five star places any more - and it's nothing to do with the facilities or the staff.

My wife and I aren't extroverts, but we aren't stick-to-ourselves introverts either. In sharp contrast to our last two trips around Europe staying in hotels, where I often wound up meeting people and having good chats, when I instead stayed at those resorts I observed that other couples didn't really want to chat - or chat more than the bare minimum - and just seemed to want to stick to themselves. The only exception was the New Zealand couple we met on the mini-bus going the three hour trip from Bangkok to Hua Hin, with whom we became good friends, but no one else there wanted to know us there.

Which all struck me as quite puzzling, as I didn't want to stick with anybody for all day long - but a 20 minute chat at breakfast, or happy hour or by the pool wouldn't have hurt. I recollect one day at breakfast when it transpired that the couple on the adjoining table came from a few streets away from where we lived back home - we could have had conversations about anything - even Council Rates, if we truly had nothing much in common, but nope, they were in stick-to-themselves mode.

In another sharp contrast, I have several sets of friends who often go off on holiday to three and four star places in Thailand, where the drinks are cheaper, and where they seem to meet lots of people and enjoy their vacations tremendously.

So my questions really are - is it me/us?
Have our experiences been atypical?
Or are such five star places frequented by snooty types?

If I do go on another Luxury Escape, it will be to their cheapest places - in the hope that theymay be frequented by more regular-type people who talk.

Your thoughts please?

Do your experiences at such five star resorts match ours, or has it been the opposite?
Regards,
Renato

I know how you feel,
here is my personal opinion, when you pay for 5 star, you or the implied expectation is privacy, a more private experience by way of butler/wait staff,
you also dont expect kids screaming and running down the corridors ,
so most of the people paying top dollar would probably expect that level of privacy and quietness

on the other extreme, if you stayed in a hostel or 1 star, everything is rough, rooms are smaller, communal facilities, etc etc, and you are forced into more interaction, youd probably be silly to stay in a 1 star hotel and expect complete privacy unless the hotel is empty

I am quite an extroverted person, but prefer more privacy than having to interact with multiple strangers in things like meals, rooms, pools, massages,
im happy with activites to be with others

 

[Renato1]

I know how you feel,
here is my personal opinion, when you pay for 5 star, you or the implied expectation is privacy, a more private experience by way of butler/wait staff,
you also dont expect kids screaming and running down the corridors ,
so most of the people paying top dollar would probably expect that level of privacy and quietness

on the other extreme, if you stayed in a hostel or 1 star, everything is rough, rooms are smaller, communal facilities, etc etc, and you are forced into more interaction, youd probably be silly to stay in a 1 star hotel and expect complete privacy unless the hotel is empty

I am quite an extroverted person, but prefer more privacy than having to interact with multiple strangers in things like meals, rooms, pools, massages,
im happy with activites to be with others

Interesting perspective, thanks.

But this need or strong desire for privacy that you and others have raised just has me puzzled.
If I want total privacy, I just watch TV.
We're happy with some privacy at such places too.
Others here have misrepresented my thoughts as me wanting lots of new best friends - when I was thinking more along the lines of harmless social chats with people similar to like one typically does at work.
Privacy wise, physically I think it's very similar in three, four and five star places. I just seem to find more chatty people at the three and four star places.
Regards,
Renato

 

[offshore171]

But this need or strong desire for privacy that you and others have raised just has me puzzled.
If I want total privacy, I just watch TV.

I think the person you were responding to here was on the right track.

As a rough rule, people staying in the 5 star places are more likely to be seeking a more private, discrete and formal experience.

At the opposite extreme is the cheap and cheerful places where you find the party animal types that want to be everyones new bestie.

And of course most places are somewhere in between.

Not a hard and fast rule, but a reasonable guideline.