MEL-SYD weekly commute - talk me out of it

[reductionist]

I'm in MEL and there's a job opportunity in SYD.

I really want the job.

I have a house, girlfriend, dog, family, etc in MEL.

Working remotely is not an option. Moving will also be a very difficult undertaking (for various reasons). Most of my time would need to be in SYD. I'm thinking of trying to negotiate 4 days a week in SYD and 1 day in MEL.

I'm interested to hear from those who work in other cities (medhead?) and spend long periods away from relationships and family.

How do you make it work?

What kinds of problems has this created for you?

And so on.

Help.

 

[markis10]

I only commuted BNE-SYD for a year and a half although I did do a year SYD-SIN but was solo at that time, when I did commute domestically I found delays really got to me and that time seemed to fly on weekends more so than ever, I also have some fond memories of the time I did spend with loved ones, as it seemed more precious than normal!

 

[reductionist]

I also have some fond memories of the time I did spend with loved ones, as it seemed more precious than normal!

How did they cope in your absence?

 

[markis10]

How did they cope in your absence?

Very well although at times it was hard, and stress causing as well when something happens that you cannot handle in person. I suppose its something Defence personnel see all too often but with longer breaks between returning home, that would be a lot harder IMHO.

 

[MatF]

I live in Wagga, and my job is based in Brisbane. I have a flexible working arrangement where I work from home one week, then commute to Brisbane the next week - rinse and repeat. I fly WGA-SYD-BNE on Monday morning (06:30) and back home on Friday afternoon (I normally leave the office in BNE around 14:00, get home around 20:00 - I give it a bit extra to make sure I get the last flight SYD-WGA).

I've been doing this for the last 4 years or so, and it's been working well for us (wife, no kids), but I think it works well because 1) I'm home every weekend - this is very important IMHO, and 2) with the work-at-home weeks included, I'm only actually away 4 nights out of 14. We use VoIP at home, and I also have a VoIP "switchboard" number in Brisbane, which means I can call home at night for the cost of a local call. This really helps.

My wife copes very well - she works full time, and fairly long hours as well, and between Monday morning and Friday afternoon, we'd only normally see each other for a few awake hours a day anyway if I was at home.

Flight delays definitely have more of an emotional impact, and I get really pissed off if for some reason I miss that last flight SYD-WGA on the way home, and have to stay in SYD overnight.

It's become part of my routine now, and I feel that I could continue with this arrangement for some time yet, but I don't think I'd want to commute every week, I feel like the weeks at home give me time to recharge.

I did work 1 week on/1 week off for a couple of years about 10 years ago, when I worked at Argyle Diamonds - commuting form Perth. Even though that was even time, I found it really exhausting - but probably more because of the 7 x 12-14hr days on site.

 

[trippin_the_rift]

The points, status credits and occasional upgrade will never replace the time you lose with your loved ones...

 

[Stephen65]

I had to do this for three months once. I hated it.

 

[ReLoad]

Mid 2009 to mid 2011 I did the whole commuting MEL/SYD, on average 3-4 days a week much like what you were suggesting.

There are many other factors/questions you must consider.

Accomodation, is it close to work? is it close to other good NON work stuff?
This is particulalrly important, as you will be away from all your usual relaxation techniques (not being at home) you will unquestionably get sucked into working longer hours, this will at some point if left unchecked lead to health and or burnout issues in the long term.
Is the accomodation of a good standard, i.e is it just as good as or better than home?
Will it be an apartment so you can cook your own stuff, hotel food is good and all, but sometimes you need your own food.
Will you have your own car or be able to rent one while you are in SYD?
Can you live without any sort of football coverage? (real footy AFL) any blockbuster will be on at 11pm. - Most hotels do not/are not getting the fox footy channel.
How strong is your relationship? It will be tested, no question.
We have twin children, and this was not only very hard on them, but unbeliveably taxing on my wife.
Have you done the economics, the job going to reward you for this? it may be money, prestige, an uber project on your CV, etc.
The travel is not fun. you will know the same people on the same flights you catch regularly, you may see some weird things, funny things at times, but this commute is a lonely commute.
In Melbourne do you live far from Tullamarine? after long days/time away this last leg can kill you. I myself woke up once with the car on the rumble strip.

Most importantly, sit down with your partner and discuss it.

Given the above, I in no way regret doing that, it was a great part of my life and I ticked some huge boxes, got some great t-shirts that say been there done that.
good luck in your decision, either way, do not end up regretting making whatever decision ou come to

 

[simongr]

I am not doing the commute but travelling most weeks at the moment - either a day or overnight (few longer trips coming up) so I can't comment on the time away element too much. What I am finding is the boredom of the repetition of the journey - QF409 seat 23A to MEL, QF 458 seat 23A home. I have started hiring a car in MEL now and might alternate between car hire and a hire car.

 

[medhead]

I'll have to drag out my PC to answer. But a big consideration is the strength of your relationship.


Sent from the Throne (80% chance) using Aust Freq Fly app

 

[ReLoad]

What I am finding is the boredom of the repetition of the journey - QF409 seat 23A to MEL, QF 458 seat 23A home.

Bingo! - exactly what simongr says.

Monday morning, QF400 seat 32A, 17 weeks in a row was my longest streak.

 

[wingspan]

Based between ADL - where my work is - and CBR - where my partner and home is - has both pros and cons.

PROS
- I'm lucky to do work that can be done anywhere. So on the flights back and forth I try and get quite a bit of work done. Thinking of flying time as working time has helped me through some annoying delays because I look on the bright side - which is that I will get more work done in transit, leaving more time for quality time at home.
- We can both pursue our own interests, be our own people, see our own friends when we are apart. I think although we both miss each other, we make the most of it by devoting some time to our other significant relationships with friends/family.
- On the occasion that we weren't able to meet in ADL or CBR, we have chosen to meet, for example, in MEL, making the most of being apart by treating us to a nice weekend getaway.
- I have built up a good professional (and personal, too, really) network in both cities.
- I sometimes choose to fly through SYD and visit friends more often than I would be able to otherwise.

CONS
- Obviously, missing out on good time with my partner.
- It can be tiring going back and forth (although it can be quite fun too).
- It can be expensive (not just flights but phone calls, other transport, etc)

I definitely think that the pros outnumber the cons - but that could also be because I'm a glass-half-full kind of person - and it can be some great times for your family and your relationship. It really does make the time more precious and that creates space for great bonding to happen.

 

[jwak]

I did it for a couple of years. Word of warning, an understanding partner and, as ReLoad pointed out, a comfortable apartment in Sydney. Seriously don't underestimate the importance of being happy when you are away.

jwak

 

[wingspan]

Bingo! - exactly what simongr says.

Monday morning, QF400 seat 32A, 17 weeks in a row was my longest streak.

True - I must admit I try to vary up my schedule where possible. Flying CBR<->ADL via MEL this week, and then next fortnight I'm going via SYD and flying QF81, then even catching a Jetstar flight the following week. The variety helps!

 

[koonyaflyer]

What do I love:

Great job
Awesome Salary
Huge amount of domestic and International travel

What do I dislike:

Difficult to maintain work life balance
the costs
getting up at 3am Monday for the 6am flight
not being able to do social things during the week with my other half
being tired on the weekend
Airports ...especially getting stuck behind the once a year traveller in the security queue

I have been commuting HBA SYD for 6 years now. I do have a flexible arrangement so I can work from home for say 5 days in total per month.

Would I do it if I didn't need to .....no way! But try getting a job like mine base out of HBA.

 

[futurism]

I have been doing this every week for 8 years, for 2 years it was ADL to MEL but now its been 6 straight ADL to SYD
That included a 2 year stretch without any holiday, including xmas etc, so literally over 100 weeks straight.
I have a girlfriend whom I share my house with in ADL, we have been together 10 years, even before the full time stint I was still away a lot so she knows nothing else and quite enjoys it.
She also doesnt fly, Ive posted about that here before, so when I do take leave (and I have well over 30 weeks accrued when you consider long service leave), I go overseas on my own. Next week I am off to Japan and Taiwan for example.
To make matters worse, despite being allowed to stay basically wherever I want within reason, I do the right thing by the company and stay in the cheapest place on wotif with an en suite bathroom each week. This includes some fairly dodgy places like the central railway motel, the ymca, ultimo unilodge etc. As long as its within 30 minutes walk to the office.
Similarly with food, I can claim whatever restaurant I want, but tend to use food courts (which infuriatingly take only cash so I cant claim!).
But despite that, I enjoy it, I do work a lot, 12 hour days etc. But I make a point of going out each evening and just wandering around, normally for at least 2 hours. Sometimes I walk all the way to Bondi, or quite often to Newtown.
Thursday nights I often take a train to Parrammatta or Chatswood or some other busy place and wander around there.

I realise though, that I am unusual, the people I work with think I am crazy, I have seen people during big projects not even able to do this for 3 months without it ending in divorce, alcoholism or worse.

So...the only person who can determine if it suits you, is yourself

 

[QF WP]

Ask JohnK about his weekly commute between SYD and BNE - I think he's done ~ 3 years now. He just loves delayed flights

There are a surprising number of members who have done regular commuting, or still doing it. Great well of information from which to draw knowledge.

I remember 2002 when I had just met Mrs LW and I was in the middle of my busiest flying for work. That year was 92 flights (Dom & Intl) and just about killed me and put a lot of strain on our new relationship - so as everybody is saying, that's critical.

 

[tuapekastar]

I have relatively recently completed about 3 and a half years of commuting and living away from home mid-week, but by car (~2 hour drive each way) rather than plane. My GF and I do not cohabit so that wasn't a huge issue. The drive up on a Monday morning was my most hated time of the week. I had to talk myself out of bed, and each Monday I swore I was going to give it away. Until I got to work - then things were OK again.

The weekends are short! Just long enough in my case to mess the place up a bit more each time.

Where you reside is important I think. Having some sort of serviced apartment would be ideal, say 1BR with full cooking facilities - eating out is OK, but not every night.

You'll probably have to become a solitary sort of person, not likely to have married workmates going out on the turps a lot. If you have a hobby/sport it would be good if you could participate when in SYD.

Sounds like a lot will be down to your GF/family as far as whether you try it.

If you really want the job I'd be inclined to sign up and give it a go - if it doesn't work out then you can quit. Not ideal, and I certainly don't mean you should take the pi55 with your new employers, but give it a good crack and see how it goes. Once you've been in the job a while you may have the opportunity to vary the conditions somewhat - maybe less time in SYD for example, but unless you're in there that cannot happen. And if you do not take it, you will always be wondering.

Anyway, tough choice, and good luck, whatever decision you make.

 

[coolumbla]

What tuapekstar said!

I lived in wagga and worked in Canberra for 2 years on a 2-3 day a week basis by driving but every 4 weeks flew to dubbo for 6 days
Mrs c approved because at the time it was what was best
After a while it wasn't and I stopped and now I can do my overtime in my own department for 10 % les than flying somewhere

So suck it and see
If it doesn't work , what have you lost.?

Just remember that if you keep wondering if it's worth it after you start it probably isn't

c

 

[munitalP]

i commute mel/syd weekly.

Its hard, you need a trusting and trustworthy partner, you will find travel costs very high, and week after week of Fridays at Syd and Sun/Mon's at MEL - it gets you down

PM me if you want the real gory bits...