My Worst Airport - Tullamarine, Melbourne. What's Yours?

[slc767338]

I just remembered another reason I was annoyed at Melbourne Airport. I walked in to the domestic terminal to travel to Canberra for work. An official comes up to me and says that he requires me to take an explosives test - I don't have to take it, but I won't be able to fly if I don't.

So me - a Defence Employee with a Defence ID card had to undergo an explosives test.

It is interesting to contrast to when our plane landed in Vienna. Big, burly, intimidating-looking Police officers start coming down the long path to the plane door - people were raising their passports to them. We raised ours to one, and he dismissively waved us on like we'd just wasted his time. What they then did was pull up all the Arabs on the plane and give them a grilling.

Note the difference. One airport is nice and equitable, and wastes valuable resources testing the most unlikely people to need testing, while another airport with similar security concerns, instead targets the identifiable group most likely to cause issues.

Looking at the two airports objectively, which would inspire more confidence with respect to security measures?
Regards,
Renato

I am quite happy to submit to any security screening procedures, and quite regularly am selected for the explosive trace swab. FWIW I am also a Defence ID and ASIC holder.

It's called a RANDOM explosive trace test for a reason and is part of ensuring 'safer skies' - Plus there's the fact that Defence employees are more likely to have access to firearms or explosives than your average John Citizen.

Casual racism, however you try and spin it (illegitimate passports/racial profiling/'Africans and Arabs') is not, in my opinion, acceptable - especially not in the public domain such as AFF.

 

[burrco]

I remember a time when if visiting the colonies one would simple wear one's regimental dress uniform* or perhaps the old Eton tie. That alone would be enough for the young chappie manning the immigration desk to immediate know what sort of fellow you were, all queues would be skipped, a few of the natives would be sent to get one's steamer trunk and you'd be in the local Englishman's Club, Gin and Tonic in hand and singing a verse or two of Rule, Britannia in no time.

On topic CDG is the worst airport - but what would you expect from the .....

* Note: Not recommended if visiting one of the thirteen colonies.

 

[leadman]

The thread seems to have lost a bit of direction here, so to bring it back to the topic; I don't find MEL the worst airport, there are many others as reported previously, but to me its the most disappointing!
Being my home port I almost cringe when I have to use it whether in or out. Is it something "Melbourne" that businesses are blindly driven to profit above loyalty and the average traveller. The airports redesign seems to be in the money making areas; duty-free/shopping and car parks. These two areas seem to get all the focus whilst other areas just seem to lag behind i.e. arrival hall and the outside areas with their carpet of crushed cigarette butts, etc, etc,. The arrivals area is all but a corridor and now the token coffee shop and lounge has been added, woefully inadequate and really a "token effort", money left over from the other refits. And going in; I always love that spruiker once you have cleared passport control asking "do you have Duty Free". Just cannot recall that at any foreign airport doing that. Suddenly from a 60's style customs you enter a "Chadstone" shopping centre where, (and has become typical in other places) you follow the yellow brick road through the duty-free. I really detest this commercialism.

Very Melbourne, just like the AFL which is now a business not a sport. Screw the money out of the punter where you can.....

 

[harvyk]

Worst airport? I wasn't a huge fan of either MIA or LAX.
MIA because it is difficult to find ones way around (to get from the gate to the baggage claim involved walking down all sorts of corridors, honestly I just followed the other pax whom seemed to know where they where going), and that god on leaving I had AAccess to join the 20 minute security queue rather than the 2 hour security queue.

LAX, because at least with T4, it was small, pokey, and I was worried about what diseases I might catch if I got too close to the wall. That said, TBIT is no longer a wasteland beyond security so they are improving.

 

[esseeeayeenn]

Any airport which makes me use a bus gate.

 

[dajop]

Any airport which makes me use a bus gate.

Especially those that are relatively new (as in opened in the last decade) and don't have the capacity issues the the rise and rise of LCCs create, because LCCs were moved back to the old airport.

 

[Scarlett]

Be assured that even some of the best airports have compulsory commercial considerations. Usually they are more subtle than MEL departures though. What is disappointing at MEL is the lack of a tiny publicly accessible doorway to the shortcut ... sure provide the snaking path through the shops for the infrequent travellers, but for those of us who never have any intent of buying DF and pass through MEL often ... give us a short cut! Because they make me walk through the store, I always stop off and get a squirt of fragrance or two on the way past (petty I know )

I agree and don't think it's petty at all. Do the same myself: if you're going to force me to walk through your shop then I'm going to try a fragrance and then walk on. Zero purchases from prob 150 transits through SYD and MEL int'l terminals...

 

[esseeeayeenn]

I think most airports are being "enhanced" to make you run the gauntlet of a chicanery of duty free stores. Certainly Denpesar has been, even Perth has a small DF chicane on both departure and arrival. The one good thing about it is that, in tropical climates, the duty free area is often the best air conditioned zone in the airport! It was certainly the case in Nandi airport, where I didn't have any lounge access (off topic but I wonder if VA have any plans to remedy this now they have true business class on flights to Fiji?).

 

[MEL_Traveller]

I find it amazing that water sold in the MEL duty free shops is almost the same price as the equivalent sized bottles of some imported alcohols.

 

[mushez]

My worst is CAN - Guangzhou - why? It just lacks everything and anything. But it has long immigration ques and long walks are the norm.

 

[hanger.on]

Agree that MEL isn't ever an enjoyable experience. It does, however, makes up for its lack of aesthetics by virtue of at least being functional. The clincher for me is that the terminals are all interconnected (with the exception of T4, that is currently in the process of being remedied).

My worst would have to be CGK, for the exact opposite reason: not all the terminals are connected. Twice in the past few months it as taken me over 50 minutes connecting between terminals (from/to T3) via the shuttle bus. These were not delays arising from infrequent departures of the shuttle bus, but from the traffic one has to encounter on the freeway the buses empty onto to connect to the other terminals. One can only hope this will be rectified when the new T4 comes into being.

 

[RooFlyer]

I think most airports are being "enhanced" to make you run the gauntlet of a chicanery of duty free stores. Certainly Denpesar has been, even Perth has a small DF chicane on both departure and arrival. The one good thing about it is that, in tropical climates, the duty free area is often the best air conditioned zone in the airport! It was certainly the case in Nandi airport, where I didn't have any lounge access (off topic but I wonder if VA have any plans to remedy this now they have true business class on flights to Fiji?).

This isn't new of course. In a former life I was an investment banker; when the Australian airports were being privatised, we were advising BAA plc (then the owner of major British Airports). Big initial meeting with client about strategy for bidding and which airports they wanted, and in what priority.

Client leader said that Darwin Airport was a disaster zone; they put very low value on it and if they should win a bid for it, they would have to spend up big re-modelling it. This IIRC was in 1996; a new terminal building had opened at DRW in 1991 and I remember being very puzzled; the new terminal was great - modern, easy to navigate around, straight from check-in to lounges, to the gates. I think others thought the same; eventually some-was brave enough to ask why BAA thought DRW was such a bad airport.

"Shops. We own xx_ airport in the UK. There, you can't get from check-in to a departure gate without going past at least 20 shops. We even put in a one-way flow so that people have to double back past more shops...". I was learning the truism in airports - that an airport is actually a shopping mall with an airstrip attached.

Also re Brisbane Airport. At the time the new 'Airtrain' line was being built. Client asked if they could prevent the airtrain from actually stopping at the airport, if they owned it. Again, puzzled looks all round. Some-one asked the obvious question: "Why would you want to prevent a new, dedicated airport train service from, um, stopping at the airport?" Answer: the taxi concession. Worth a motza to any airport. Train service = fewer taxis . Eventually the client reluctantly agreed that the new airport rail should be allowed to access the airport.

 

[anat0l]

I'm trying to think of airports around the world which actually try and force the passenger flow through shops in a manner like Australia and the UK. I'm also trying to separate off the airports which are owned by governments, i.e. all private airports.

I'm actually struggling with that one.


One can understand that shops make up a large source of revenue for the airport owners. What I don't get is at what point does making the path so obtuse or winding that even if you pass 45 shops before a passenger gets to their primary goal (it probably wasn't shopping), isn't someone going to think this is ridiculous or there's a safety issue at hand here?

I can take / understand airports which provide large passages or aisles that are clearly delineated and not laid out in some awkward pattern. Even better if the make up of the area clearly shows the direction where people need to go for certain services. After that, put as many shops as you want in the rest of the area. Make a maze of it and obfuscate the primary pathing more than it really has to be, and you're either a lunatic, a cretin or a sadis_.


Once again, I make the concession here (and in agreement with others in the thread) that often, most passengers do not have a choice. It is not a simple nor wise decision at all to say that one does not like so-and-so airport and therefore will never fly through there, especially if it's the shops which are causing the issue. If people must go through an airport to get to that destination, then they have no choice. On the other hand, if people really don't like a shopping mall, it's usually not a tough decision to take your business to another one.


Hooking on the whole BAA (or British based investors looking at airports) blah blah blah, I am reminded of the design of LHR T5. At South Security (the smaller one), once you pass through the security checkpoint, if you can access the CCR, then turn right and up you go - too easy. On the other hand, everyone else needs to go left and almost to the centre of the main concourse (well, feels like it), down the stairs and past a whole slew of shops... I think there may be one more up or down before you actually take the escalators up to the British South lounges. Even if you had no lounge access and were heading straight to the gate, there's probably at least a dozen shops you pass before you get to the next juncture.

Maybe we should have a split off thread from here: what would actually make you spend more money with vendors at the airport (apart from better prices, that's a given)?

 

[medhead]

Also re Brisbane Airport. At the time the new 'Airtrain' line was being built. Client asked if they could prevent the airtrain from actually stopping at the airport, if they owned it. Again, puzzled looks all round. Some-one asked the obvious question: "Why would you want to prevent a new, dedicated airport train service from, um, stopping at the airport?" Answer: the taxi concession. Worth a motza to any airport. Train service = fewer taxis . Eventually the client reluctantly agreed that the new airport rail should be allowed to access the airport.

Which isn't entirely sensible since they don't charge taxis to drop off passengers. When I had the taxi gig, about 50% of the time I wouldn't bother wasting time getting onto the rank to pick up after dropping off at the airport. That was before they started charging taxis to pick up.

 

[anat0l]

Which isn't entirely sensible since they don't charge taxis to drop off passengers. When I had the taxi gig, about 50% of the time I wouldn't bother wasting time getting onto the rank to pick up after dropping off at the airport. That was before they started charging taxis to pick up.

In this case, the motzah I assume is that charging for taxis to pick people up, and the train takes away some of that. I know now (or at least when I left, even though it is not necessarily a wise thing to do) that taxis like to camp the airport for jobs when no where else seems to be burning with them. They even have a bigger waiting lot for them, too. With the crazy road system around the airport, taxis collect a little bit more for their efforts (not including indirect costs and what not, e.g. loss of potential job gain based on the time it takes to go in and out of the airport district).


Skybus are kind of doing the same thing in Melbourne to stop or put curbs on a train line to Tullamarine. Basically arguing against a crippling blow to the business or a tantrum against obsolescence. Much easier than adaptation or innovation.

 

[medhead]

In this case, the motzah I assume is that charging for taxis to pick people up, and the train takes away some of that. I know now (or at least when I left, even though it is not necessarily a wise thing to do) that taxis like to camp the airport for jobs when no where else seems to be burning with them. They even have a bigger waiting lot for them, too. With the crazy road system around the airport, taxis collect a little bit more for their efforts (not including indirect costs and what not, e.g. loss of potential job gain based on the time it takes to go in and out of the airport district).


Skybus are kind of doing the same thing in Melbourne to stop or put curbs on a train line to Tullamarine. Basically arguing against a crippling blow to the business or a tantrum against obsolescence. Much easier than adaptation or innovation.

I did write "not entirely". There certainly were drivers who lived at the airport. But I'm sure there were others who took my attitude and would rather drive 10 minutes to Sandgate over 1.5 hours at the airport taxi rank. Even if I did go into the airport feeder rank, I'd be constantly bidding for radio jobs to get the hell out of there.

 

[RooFlyer]

Apologies for hijacking the thread a bit (but it is somewhat related to 'worst/bad airports' ) . I think there are some marketers on the forum, but there is of course a lot of 'science' (not really) on what influences spending patterns. In an international airport especially, they know you are captive for at least an hour or more. Notice how there are not nearly enough seats at the departure gates? Lots of seats in coffee shops, though. I was told earnestly by airport people that they make the seats deliberately uncomfortable if you sit there for a while (not sure about that one). Get up and spend!!

SYD and MEL, where they have created the Maze up front is on the extreme end, but the airports would know about the spending - I believe they usually take a % of profits as well as charge rent.

Airports are somewhat analogous to casinos - although you CAN leave a casino, they are usually dark and full of mirrors ... so you can't easily exit and stop spending. Airports don't need that strategy .. but they can keep presenting you with spending opportunities. Eventually you may weaken.

BTW, Koreans spend more at airports per pax than anyone else. If you own an airport, you REALLY want Korean Air to fly into your airport!!

I had an interesting experience at EZE (Buenos Aires) T1 recently. I had about $80 in Argentine pesos on me. I though I'd buy something, or exchange to P into US$. I looked hard, but there was nothing that really appealed to buy, other than some really expensive stuff. So I went to find a cambio. NOPE! No cambios airside at all :evil: . I knew Houston, my destination was virtually cambio free from previous experience - so guess what? I bought something I didn't really need. Ker-ching.

 

[TomVexille]

BTW, Koreans spend more at airports per pax than anyone else. If you own an airport, you REALLY want Korean Air to fly into your airport!!

Which is why KE put a duty free shop in their A380s

 

[drron]

And I ask to go through the body scanner.Easier on everybody if I do.

 

[GoldCanyon340]

I haven't read all 17 pages so here's hoping I'm not regurgitating many comments when I say...

I have little issue with MEL, mainly as it houses the better of the two QF F lounges. The two connected terminals are also such an advantage. The only downside is the far pier from which JQ and QantasLink operate: it looks like you've arrived in 1980s Albania.

To call the SYD International Arrivals Hall 'Third World' is truly an insult to an actual Third World country.

As for the worst experience? I can understand MNL but I'll take that and raise you an LGA.