FOR FEBS - check your rate for the hotel includes all city/state/bed taxes as on your USD$225 per night this will add just under USD$40 per night to your bill making it around AUD$323 per night OUCH!!
We go to NYC every year for 2 weeks plus and sublet an apartment. Depending on the time of year it costs us no more than AUD$200 per night. The company we use is
New York Habitat - Accommodation in New York, Paris, London & South of France. We prefer to stay in Chelsea, great neighbourhood, good food, and no tourist prices but last year we spent one week on the Upper West Side - apartment buildings are much bigger and area not as 'cosy'.
Food in the tourist precinct 42nd Street up to say 52nd both sides of Broadway is pretty shocking and very expensive. One exception I would recommend for a quick casual meal is PAX - various locations throughout Manhattan, first one that springs to mind is on 42nd Street just off Broadway opposite Maccas - great sangers, soups, salads and (pizza) slices.
Can't help with the car hire but I am envious of your cross country trek. I would suggest that you would not have to travel far from Manhattan to get a better deal on your hire - say Long Island.
As far as safety is concerned - look for trouble and you'll find it in any city - but my partner and I (both female) use the subway at all hours which usually means a walk back to our apartment and we have never felt uncomfortable or threatened. NYC is 24/7 and there is always heaps of people around.
As others have mentioned, look outside the square of Midtown and go up to the Upper West, Upper East, Lower East, Chelsea, Soho, Harlem, Brooklyn, Queens - so much to see, so little time.
FOR ROBERT BARLOW - Dress code for NYC is pretty much smart casual unless you are eating in fine dining establishments such as The Four Seasons, Per Se which will have a dress code.
The revolving restaurant and bar that your daughter mentioned is called 'The View' and it is worth going. We went after seeing a show for a nightcap but they do dinner and also a chocolate dessert buffet. If you are just going for a drink there is a cover charge (I think we paid $7 pp) but the drinks were no more expensive than anywhere else - a martini translates to a pitcher of martini - so the equivalent of 3 glasses - good value in my book!!! The view is spectacular and as mentioned the room revolves.
The best and cheapest tourist attraction in New York is the city itself. The architecture, the people, the parks big and small (don't miss Paley Park E53rd between 5th & Madison Aves, if you blink you will miss it) and it's all free.
Have a great trip.
Looks like all the coupons expire in November, which suits us fine.
and sometimes alone, without any issues at all. It really is a great city, so enjoy it those that are planning to visit 
