If you and your friends are paying for sex, then you are sex tourists.
Who said any of us pay for sex? My wife was a housekeeper. One client was US missionaries, another the wife of a high US Consul official and another a rich Scottish investor for 1 day a week.
I remember one of the first times I was working in Thailand one of the office workers took a fancy to me. People see Farangs with Thai ladies and all of a sudden assume paying for sex.
When you see a place like Pattaya bar girls a small percentage of the people there.
Business owners, shop and office staff, street food, hotel staff, dentists, optometrists, pharmacies, laundries, hospitals, market stalls, beauty salon, barbers, tattoo parlours, restaurants, bistros, taxi drivers etc. These are the overwhelming majority.
To say Pattaya is full of sex tourists is naive. It shows a lack of understanding of the place.
Chiang Mai is boring. The village where I am building house is boring.
What I enjoy is walking past where all the bars are located. I love walking on the street with my family, beer in hand and seeing the place alive. I love the noise. I love the music. We sit on the beach, my daughter plays with the sand and there are 3 bars across the road with live music and we choose which one has music we like.
This is my ideal holiday. Doesn't mean I won't visit other places but this is my go to place.