TonyHancock
Senior Member
- Joined
- Aug 26, 2010
- Posts
- 5,645
After a few minutes of work, less than scientific research and absolutely no testing on the general public the Tony Hancock “Can you lead Australia in a Submarine Crisis?” quiz is finally complete.(ish) (Ten key questions with multiple choice answers.)Please answer all questions truthfully or just lie if you like. If an answer does not match exactly your own response just make something up that matches near enough. 
The purpose of the quiz is to establish if you make the grade as a leader and diplomat in an international crisis
When you have completed the quiz add up your score and see if you make the grade see the end of the quiz for the scoring. Please, please, please, please don’t bother commenting about questions that should or shouldn’t be there or how the scoring should have been done etc. Just make your own quiz up instead!!
1. You decide that for Christmas you will treat yourself to a fleet of hi-tech submarines you....
a) Make contact with the world’s foremost military equipment provider, the USA, and sign up for a heap of Nuclear Subs with go faster stripes (20 Points)
b) Cozy up to a nation whose greatest naval success was sinking the Rainbow Warrior in Auckland harbour. (0 Points)
c) Adopt a “she’ll be right mate” approach and build them in Adelaide from scrap metal and used plutonium yourself. (15 Points)
2. Your new partner, “Sous-Marin(e)”, after five long years, comes up with a design to convert its nuclear offering into the diesel offering you so badly thought you needed, but the cost is a bit more than the $4.89 each promised, and they will be as noisy as AC/DC at Etihad Stadium in 2015, you....
a) Raise taxes by 10 cents in the dollar to pay for the undersea tractors (0 Points
b) Tell your new partner to clear off and sign up with someone who knows what they are doing and buy the quiet sleek nuclear option (20 Points)
c) Wonder why diesel was ever an option. (18 Points)
3. Having cancelled the contract with “Sous-Marin(e)” they take offence and the president, M. Microman, of the country they operate in withdraws its ambassador, you....
a) Immediately reinstate the contract because the ambassador’s withdrawal “showed you” (0 Points)
b) Laugh (15 Points)
c) Impose covid travel restrictions on the ambassador and fine him/her for leaving……and laugh. (20 Points)
4. Things heat up and the country, home to “Sous-Marin(e)”, declares war, you......
a) Run away and hide (0 Points)
b) Wave a couple of long bows and accept their immediate surrender (20 Points)
c) Ignore the declaration of war (5 Points)
5. M. Microman takes the issue further and removes all aid and assistance to Australia in the Pacific, you....
a) Realise this will be a huge problem and reinstate the contract (0 Points)
b) Don’t notice anything different (10 Points)
c) Take the matter to the United Nations (2 Points)
6. Relations between yourself and M. Microman are at an all-time low you.....
a) Send a 4L cask of Australian “Fresh dry White” wine as a peace offering (20 Points)
b) Worry that you will no longer be able to import escargot, cuisses de grenouilles and other delightful delicacies (0 Points)
c) Arrange a Pacific peace conference remembering to invite M. Microman (-5 Points)
7. M. Microman continues to complain about the contract cancellation, you........
a) Ask your friends in the UK and USA to help him get his toys back in the pram (20 Points)
b) Ask Jacinda Ardern to intervene on your behalf (-20 Points)
c) Wonder if you would have been better off buying 12 aircraft carriers from the UK instead. (15 Points)
8. M. Microman encourages his peers in the EU to cancel the ongoing free trade negotiations, you......
a) Immediately reinstate the contract (0 Points)
b) Realise M. Microman has an election coming and ignore his pontificating (2 Points)
c) Offer the German negotiator the opportunity for tariff free trade on sauerkraut (15 Points)
9. M. Microman’s defence minister M. Le Drain, accuses Australia of stabbing his country in the back, you.....
a) Knee him in the unmentionables at the next major summit (30 Points)
b) Suggest he uses less inflammatory language (5 Points)
c) Accept the accusation and admit cowardice (-10 Points)
10. Two years after the contract with “Sous Marin(e)” was cancelled you take delivery of your first nuclear submarine named HMAS Agincourt, you.....
a) Offer it to M. Microman’s successor as a peace offering (3 Points)
b) Order it to the surface in the English Channel flying a very large Australian flag (15 Points)
c) Are too busy to do anything because you are still trying to negotiate a free trade deal with the EU. (2 Points)
-35 to 69, You have Gallic tendencies, you probably eat a lot of garlic, wear a beret and are likely to surrender at the first sign of fisticuffs. Even seeing a longbow in the distance is likely to bring you out in a cold sweat.
70-174, You are practically un-Australian when it comes to diplomacy and leadership, you may see yourself as a diplomat but Mr Cheese eating surrender monkey sees you as an easy mark, you will be buying London Bridge next or a herd of unicorns from that nice Mr Putin. OK you might try and build stuff locally and have a bit more backbone than the average Gaul, but you are giving far too much away.
175 plus, You are a true blue Aussie leader and diplomat. You will not put up with Johnny Foreigner trying to tell you how to run your country or sell you some dodgy military kit. You tell it like it is and are likely to go to war over a poorly made Latte. You’re not afraid to renege on a terrible deal made by your predecessor and you certainly aren’t going to be friends with the mad woman in New Zealand. You are not afraid to let the world know that French submarines only have reverse gears and always carry a white flag. Australia will be safe in the Anglosphere with you.
Any similarity to current events is purely coincidental.
The purpose of the quiz is to establish if you make the grade as a leader and diplomat in an international crisis
When you have completed the quiz add up your score and see if you make the grade see the end of the quiz for the scoring. Please, please, please, please don’t bother commenting about questions that should or shouldn’t be there or how the scoring should have been done etc. Just make your own quiz up instead!!
1. You decide that for Christmas you will treat yourself to a fleet of hi-tech submarines you....
a) Make contact with the world’s foremost military equipment provider, the USA, and sign up for a heap of Nuclear Subs with go faster stripes (20 Points)
b) Cozy up to a nation whose greatest naval success was sinking the Rainbow Warrior in Auckland harbour. (0 Points)
c) Adopt a “she’ll be right mate” approach and build them in Adelaide from scrap metal and used plutonium yourself. (15 Points)
2. Your new partner, “Sous-Marin(e)”, after five long years, comes up with a design to convert its nuclear offering into the diesel offering you so badly thought you needed, but the cost is a bit more than the $4.89 each promised, and they will be as noisy as AC/DC at Etihad Stadium in 2015, you....
a) Raise taxes by 10 cents in the dollar to pay for the undersea tractors (0 Points
b) Tell your new partner to clear off and sign up with someone who knows what they are doing and buy the quiet sleek nuclear option (20 Points)
c) Wonder why diesel was ever an option. (18 Points)
3. Having cancelled the contract with “Sous-Marin(e)” they take offence and the president, M. Microman, of the country they operate in withdraws its ambassador, you....
a) Immediately reinstate the contract because the ambassador’s withdrawal “showed you” (0 Points)
b) Laugh (15 Points)
c) Impose covid travel restrictions on the ambassador and fine him/her for leaving……and laugh. (20 Points)
4. Things heat up and the country, home to “Sous-Marin(e)”, declares war, you......
a) Run away and hide (0 Points)
b) Wave a couple of long bows and accept their immediate surrender (20 Points)
c) Ignore the declaration of war (5 Points)
5. M. Microman takes the issue further and removes all aid and assistance to Australia in the Pacific, you....
a) Realise this will be a huge problem and reinstate the contract (0 Points)
b) Don’t notice anything different (10 Points)
c) Take the matter to the United Nations (2 Points)
6. Relations between yourself and M. Microman are at an all-time low you.....
a) Send a 4L cask of Australian “Fresh dry White” wine as a peace offering (20 Points)
b) Worry that you will no longer be able to import escargot, cuisses de grenouilles and other delightful delicacies (0 Points)
c) Arrange a Pacific peace conference remembering to invite M. Microman (-5 Points)
7. M. Microman continues to complain about the contract cancellation, you........
a) Ask your friends in the UK and USA to help him get his toys back in the pram (20 Points)
b) Ask Jacinda Ardern to intervene on your behalf (-20 Points)
c) Wonder if you would have been better off buying 12 aircraft carriers from the UK instead. (15 Points)
8. M. Microman encourages his peers in the EU to cancel the ongoing free trade negotiations, you......
a) Immediately reinstate the contract (0 Points)
b) Realise M. Microman has an election coming and ignore his pontificating (2 Points)
c) Offer the German negotiator the opportunity for tariff free trade on sauerkraut (15 Points)
9. M. Microman’s defence minister M. Le Drain, accuses Australia of stabbing his country in the back, you.....
a) Knee him in the unmentionables at the next major summit (30 Points)
b) Suggest he uses less inflammatory language (5 Points)
c) Accept the accusation and admit cowardice (-10 Points)
10. Two years after the contract with “Sous Marin(e)” was cancelled you take delivery of your first nuclear submarine named HMAS Agincourt, you.....
a) Offer it to M. Microman’s successor as a peace offering (3 Points)
b) Order it to the surface in the English Channel flying a very large Australian flag (15 Points)
c) Are too busy to do anything because you are still trying to negotiate a free trade deal with the EU. (2 Points)
-35 to 69, You have Gallic tendencies, you probably eat a lot of garlic, wear a beret and are likely to surrender at the first sign of fisticuffs. Even seeing a longbow in the distance is likely to bring you out in a cold sweat.
70-174, You are practically un-Australian when it comes to diplomacy and leadership, you may see yourself as a diplomat but Mr Cheese eating surrender monkey sees you as an easy mark, you will be buying London Bridge next or a herd of unicorns from that nice Mr Putin. OK you might try and build stuff locally and have a bit more backbone than the average Gaul, but you are giving far too much away.
175 plus, You are a true blue Aussie leader and diplomat. You will not put up with Johnny Foreigner trying to tell you how to run your country or sell you some dodgy military kit. You tell it like it is and are likely to go to war over a poorly made Latte. You’re not afraid to renege on a terrible deal made by your predecessor and you certainly aren’t going to be friends with the mad woman in New Zealand. You are not afraid to let the world know that French submarines only have reverse gears and always carry a white flag. Australia will be safe in the Anglosphere with you.
Any similarity to current events is purely coincidental.
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