Tips to make it through Y long haul?

[Lawlass]

1. inflatable foot rest - it's an absolute life-saver as far as I'm concerned. I've got one about the same height as the seat, so I can put my legs up at the same level as my body. You can get smaller ones that you can put on top of a roller bag too.

Okay, this has got me intrigued. It sounds like a great idea (I'm small enough to be able to curl up on the seat if there's somewhere for my legs). Where do you get them from? Do you just blow it up by mouth (I'm thinking something that size might be a bit awkward and make you lightheaded?)?

Do tell, please!

 

[medhead]

Don't sit there stewing over noisy children. A 'look' towards the parents first, and if that doesn't work buzz the FA and politely ask them to 'have a word'. But the NC phones get rid of 'almost' all such noise.

Well this is good advice but also bad advice. Certainly don't sit there stewing if there is a noisy child - it's bad for your heart. Instead learn self control and ignore it. Maybe you need to have children before you can pick up these skills, but I have no trouble blocking out everything around me.

I certainly wouldn't agree to "look" at the parents or call the FA as that doesn't help and it is likely to cause problems. Any good parent who has a noisy child is going to be doing all that can to make the child happy, looking or getting the FA involved isn't going to magically speed up that process. A good parent might actually feel more guilty and try to hard to placate the child, which could then make the child worse and prolong the noise. A bad parent doesn't care about the child being noisy and they aren't going to give a stuff that you look at them. In fact, they are just as likely to tell you to get stuffed.

Another point is I assume you mean crying or unsettled child and not playing or talking child because children are people as well and just like everyone else they are stuck on a long haul flight in Y and are entitled to entertain themselves. Just ask yourself want you do that others might find annoying, tapping your foot to the music on your ipod, slamming the tray table shut?

My approach to noisy, crying, whingy children is smile at them say hello and try to entertain them. They are usually surprised enough to be quiet and wonder about is who this new and interesting person. That gives them something to think about instead of what is upsetting them and can help. It also makes the parents relaxed a bit as they can think that I'm not annoyed at them (despite what my real deep down feelings might be) and then they might be able to control the situation better.

 

[harvyk]

Having been a parent of a noisy child on flights in the past, trust me, know one is more aware of the noises that my child was making than me...

If an FA came past and offered to help calm the child down, I'd jump at the offer (and have in the past).

If an FA came past to tell me to shut the child up, whilst I probably wouldn't have a go at the FA there and then (chances are I actually want to go where the plane is going), that said I would have no qualms in making it known to the airline that I was not happy with the FA.

 

[PineappleSkip]

The pineapple tips

1. Check in late.
2. Take lots of luggage and argue over any excess luggage charges.
3. Take your time repacking your bags at the counter. Remove large heavy misshapen objects for inflight use.
4. Demand an upgrade; you know you deserve one. If unsuccessful at first, ask DYKWIA?
5. Discuss any number of seat allocation options. Remember, check in staff were waiting for you, none of the other passengers count.
6. Ignore the man at security with the plastic bags, and carry several containers of liquid in your carry-ons.
7. Fail to complete your departure card.
8. Discuss the meaning and implications of the departure card questions with the custome officer before completing.
9. Go to the lounge and try various ruses to get in. My favourite is 'Can I use your toilet'. If that fails, play the DYKWIA card again.
10. Fail to Board, so you will be on the aircraft less time than anyone else, consider boarding the second or third time they call your name. Personalised boarding calls help establish your credentials as a DYKWIA.
11. Carry large heavy and misshapen objects on board and find somewhere to store them. Cabin staff will help. Demand that they find space in YOUR locker.
12. Sit down in your middle seat. Well you did check in late. Relax. Remove your shoes. Remove your socks. Hang your socks from the seat pocket, they'll dry out after a few hours.
13. Stick your elbows out. Its a long flight, the seats are narrow, so you need both the armrests, and more.
14. Listen to the safety briefing. Note especially the bit about how cabin crew are there to attend to your every need and how you should use the call button anytime you need assistance.
15. Locate the little orange all button, and press it after push-back. Ask if you can use the toilet.
16. Once the seat belt sign goes off, immediately recline your seat. Fully.
17. Press the magic orange button again, and obtain an intensive briefing on how to use the IFE.
18. Drinks service! Drink lots of alcohol. Avoid water. This is important for later activities.
19. Dinner time! Complain about the special meal that you wanted not being available. The FAs should know who you are, and your dietary requirements.
20. You really need to go to the toilet during dinner service. Aisle passengers are happy to get up with their meal trays, even more fun if you are seated at a window.
21. In the toilet. This will be your home away from home. Familiarise yourself with its operation. You will find that on A380s every button operates various lights.
22. Turbulence! Pee all over the place. Cats establish their territory this way, why shouldn't you?
23. Get back to your seat before the meal trays are taken away.
24. Thirsty? Time for that orange button again. The FAs are just waiting for your call and are happy to serve you constantly.
25. Repeat steps 18-22 ad nauseum, although its not as fun once the trays are gone. You can while away hours this way, and the more you do it, the less you'll notice the passage of time.
26. At some point you'll notice a deterioration in the cabin service. Keep pressing that orange button. Get the rhythm right and you can make it sound like a railway crossing.
27. Once refused alcohol, get up and become unruly. This always gets results.
28. Once restrained, pass out.
29. Be escorted from the plane at a location of the captain's choosing. This will shorten your travel time by hours. And who said they don't have mystery flights any more!!

Cheers skip

 

[KitKat]

The pineapple tips

1. Check in late.
2. Take lots of luggage and argue over any excess luggage charges.
3. Take your time repacking your bags at the counter. Remove large heavy misshapen objects for inflight use.
4. Demand an upgrade; you know you deserve one. If unsuccessful at first, ask DYKWIA?
5. Discuss any number of seat allocation options. Remember, check in staff were waiting for you, none of the other passengers count.
6. Ignore the man at security with the plastic bags, and carry several containers of liquid in your carry-ons.
7. Fail to complete your departure card.
8. Discuss the meaning and implications of the departure card questions with the custome officer before completing.
9. Go to the lounge and try various ruses to get in. My favourite is 'Can I use your toilet'. If that fails, play the DYKWIA card again.
10. Fail to Board, so you will be on the aircraft less time than anyone else, consider boarding the second or third time they call your name. Personalised boarding calls help establish your credentials as a DYKWIA.
11. Carry large heavy and misshapen objects on board and find somewhere to store them. Cabin staff will help. Demand that they find space in YOUR locker.
12. Sit down in your middle seat. Well you did check in late. Relax. Remove your shoes. Remove your socks. Hang your socks from the seat pocket, they'll dry out after a few hours.
13. Stick your elbows out. Its a long flight, the seats are narrow, so you need both the armrests, and more.
14. Listen to the safety briefing. Note especially the bit about how cabin crew are there to attend to your every need and how you should use the call button anytime you need assistance.
15. Locate the little orange all button, and press it after push-back. Ask if you can use the toilet.
16. Once the seat belt sign goes off, immediately recline your seat. Fully.
17. Press the magic orange button again, and obtain an intensive briefing on how to use the IFE.
18. Drinks service! Drink lots of alcohol. Avoid water. This is important for later activities.
19. Dinner time! Complain about the special meal that you wanted not being available. The FAs should know who you are, and your dietary requirements.
20. You really need to go to the toilet during dinner service. Aisle passengers are happy to get up with their meal trays, even more fun if you are seated at a window.
21. In the toilet. This will be your home away from home. Familiarise yourself with its operation. You will find that on A380s every button operates various lights.
22. Turbulence! Pee all over the place. Cats establish their territory this way, why shouldn't you?
23. Get back to your seat before the meal trays are taken away.
24. Thirsty? Time for that orange button again. The FAs are just waiting for your call and are happy to serve you constantly.
25. Repeat steps 18-22 ad nauseum, although its not as fun once the trays are gone. You can while away hours this way, and the more you do it, the less you'll notice the passage of time.
26. At some point you'll notice a deterioration in the cabin service. Keep pressing that orange button. Get the rhythm right and you can make it sound like a railway crossing.
27. Once refused alcohol, get up and become unruly. This always gets results.
28. Once restrained, pass out.
29. Be escorted from the plane at a location of the captain's choosing. This will shorten your travel time by hours. And who said they don't have mystery flights any more!!

Cheers skip

This is funny. You actually spent the time writing this
Perhaps this should be in the Humour thread

 

[sarvowinner]

The pineapple tips

1. Check in late.
2. Take lots of luggage.....

Very, very funny, but scarily true.

 

[thewinchester]

The pineapple tips

1. Check in late.
2. Take lots of luggage and argue over any excess luggage charges.
<snip>

And PineappleSkip does it again.

You sir are not only a danger to society, but my sleeping patterns as well. I must learn to stop reading AFF in the evening lest I sleep in due to hysterical laughing keeping me up for hours on end.

 

[Rebekkap]

Okay, this has got me intrigued. It sounds like a great idea (I'm small enough to be able to curl up on the seat if there's somewhere for my legs). Where do you get them from? Do you just blow it up by mouth (I'm thinking something that size might be a bit awkward and make you lightheaded?)?

Do tell, please!

Eta: try coolinflatables website (American but they ship here) - they have ones that are nearly tall enough and it looks like you could put them on their side and they would be ideal.

Yeah me too, small enough to curl up. The one I have is about 50cm high - don't go for a shorter one. I think I bought it from deals direct, they don't have them any more (I just checked) but the smaller ones that you can chuck on top of a roller bag are obtainable, you can get from Magellans (they ship to Australia, although it is exxy) or try googling. I do inflate by blowing up by mouth - takes a couple of minutes but I don't get light headed - I do have a foot pump but honestly inflating by mouth is easier and quicker, plus means you don't have to lug it the pump.

 

[straitman]

IMHO they are more like light track suits ...

I was about to say that they are more like light weight track suits when I read serfty's post :!:

 

[TonyHancock]

I have just completed MEL-LHR 2 days ago. The jet lag is, as always, pretty bad for me. (it is 3:20AM!!)

Like others have suggested boredom is my major concern so I travel with IPad and IPod. The IPad is crammed with movies, TV shows and books. The IPod Classic has 24,000 songs.

Bulkhead/exit row aisle seat is my preference. Lounge access is essential. My sedation methods have included alcohol but the hangover is not good, and Tylenol PM which I have found very successful at sending me off to sleep.

Noise canceling headphones are a must. Be very pleasant with FA's. They have a job to do and are more likely to look after you if you are nice with them.

Status with an airline does make a difference too. The CSM on my last flight was excellent. Drinks from the business class bar, extra nuts and cheese snacks, etc. (a perk of WP status with QF)

Upgrade!! I know this may not always be possible but the difference between Y and J is absolutely massive in terms of journey quality.

When you arrive at your destination try not to sleep during the day, it should help you get into the time zone quickly. (I'm not to bad with this normally, but the England v Australia test match is keeping me awake!)

 

[timster]

Any good parent who has a noisy child is going to be doing all that can to make the child happy

If only this were true ! My last overnight flight was ruined by two unruly siblings sitting behind me who made noise and kicked the back of my seat throughout the night. The parents sat across the aisle and did nothing to make their spawn behave. A simple solution would have been to separate them - one kid, one parent. Bu that presumably would have made the parents' flight less pleasant - so they inflicted the little brats on others !

I know now I should have called the FA.

A noisy baby I can put up with - that is no one's fault. And the NC headphones usually can reduce crying babies to a distant buzz. But these kids actually broke through the noise cancellation.

And before you think that was an isolated incident, almost every plane I get on these days seems to have a parent who takes no responsibility for their children. On another recent long-haul, one family's little brats played chasy up and down the aisles ! When the FAs asked them to go back to their seats, the kids just ignored them. The parents actually seemed to be encouraging them to get up and run around !

Studies have shown that children behaving badly is THE major issue for other passengers.

Kids should be made to behave by whatever means necessary (adequate distracting activities, threats, bribery, medication) or left at home.

I know that this can be difficult. If a parent is clearly trying to control their kids and the kid still misbehaves I think people will understand. But when parents are clearly making no effort whatsoever, it's like they're saying "f you" to everyone else on board. At that point a word from the FA might finally embarrass them into action.

 

[timster]

The pineapple tips

Great stuff !

One of my favourites was the American couple in front of me in the 50-deep check-in line at LAX who, when asked "Did you pack your own bags and have they been out of your sight" launched into a long description of how, yes, they had packed the bags last night at the hotel, but then the bags were out of their sight in the room when they went down to breakfast, and then when they checked out the bags were left in storage for 3 hours, and then when they came back to the hotel the bags were placed in the back of the airport shuttle bus, when of course they were out of their sight again .....

The look on the check-in woman's face ! I don't think she had ever heard any answer other than "yes" and "no".

 

[medhead]

If only this were true ! My last overnight flight was ruined by two unruly siblings sitting behind me who made noise and kicked the back of my seat throughout the night. The parents sat across the aisle and did nothing to make their spawn behave.

......

And before you think that was an isolated incident, almost every plane I get on these days seems to have a parent who takes no responsibility for their children. On another recent long-haul, one family's little brats played chasy up and down the aisles ! When the FAs asked them to go back to their seats, the kids just ignored them. The parents actually seemed to be encouraging them to get up and run around !

.........

But when parents are clearly making no effort whatsoever, it's like they're saying "f you" to everyone else on board. At that point a word from the FA might finally embarrass them into action.

These situations are about what I referred to as Bad Parents. Re-read the post and you will see that I mentioned bad parents. So I still think it is true that good parents will be doing all they can, as per what you quoted. And bad parents won't give a stuff as per the bit you didn't quote.

 

[saxman]

agreed in general
in ear noise cancelling headphones are a winner (the over ear one;s make it difficult to sleep on your side in 1st or business and in eceonomy if you use a neck pillow!
Zopiclone is a great 'no hangover' sleeping pill that usually gives me 6-8 hrs sleep (and a good reason not to drink alcohol (or very little) as alcohol aggravates jet lag. Movies are a must (I usually board, put in my sony noise cancellers) play on my iphone to take off then eat and do a 2hr movie then take the sleeping pill, get comfy and usually wake as the breakfast trolley is next to me and then a quick movie to landing.
1st class lounge is a winner at Sydney (etc) so platinum helps - a shower and a massage are great. Eat lots of fruit and drink plenty water and apple juice
that got me through 37 flights in the past year many 8-12 hrs and some 10-14hrs....
aisle seat is a winner and premium upgrade from economy helps but business is better and 1st a rare treat but these days business is like 1st class of years gone by

 

[cglmfl]

Great post, MBR. It's about time some one stood up for Y class. Well done.

 

[drewbles]

Out of interest, am I the only one who think those neck pillows are a waste of time? I've noted several posts here that say they're brilliant for Y travel.

I can't stand them, and find they just put me in a more uncomfortable position than a normal economy seat already does (if that's possible!).

Each to their own of course, but I just couldn't use one (Tried one on a long haul once, and never bothered again; I find the wings on the seat back on QF just fine to rest my head against once bent in).

 

[Princess Fiona]

Out of interest, am I the only one who think those neck pillows are a waste of time? I've noted several posts here that say they're brilliant for Y travel.

I can't stand them, and find they just put me in a more uncomfortable position than a normal economy seat already does (if that's possible!).

Each to their own of course, but I just couldn't use one (Tried one on a long haul once, and never bothered again; I find the wings on the seat back on QF just fine to rest my head against once bent in).

They have never worked for me, I always used to end up with my neck in spasm after using them, now cured by not using them and flying J whenever possible :mrgreen:

 

[TonyHancock]

Out of interest, am I the only one who think those neck pillows are a waste of time? I've noted several posts here that say they're brilliant for Y travel.

I can't stand them, and find they just put me in a more uncomfortable position than a normal economy seat already does (if that's possible!).

I'm with you. I find them very uncomfortable.

 

[straitman]

My wife thinks they are wonderful and I think they are useless.


Sent from my iPhone using AFF Mobile

 

[harvyk]

Out of interest, am I the only one who think those neck pillows are a waste of time?

No, I can't stand them either... I find them really uncomfortable...