A bit of humour

[get me outta here]

 

[mrs.dr.ron]

 

[Major]

 

[get me outta here]

 

[get me outta here]

.

AND, your very large gun.

 

[Flashback]

View attachment 217122.

AND, your very large gun.

I read your last line as gin. But gin works too, I guess

 

[get me outta here]

 

[TheRealTMA]

ANNUAL NEOLOGISM CONTEST

Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternative meanings for common words. The winners are:
1. Coffee (N.), the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (V.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (V.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (Adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (Adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (V.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (N.), olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (N.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (N.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. testicl_ (N.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (N.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (N), a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (N.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (N.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (N.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners:

1. Bozone (N.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
2. Foreploy (V): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
3. Cashtration (N.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
4. Giraffiti (N): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
5. Sarchasm (N): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
6. Inoculatte (V): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
7. Hipatitis (N): Terminal coolness.
8. Osteopornosis (N): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
9. Karmageddon (N): It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
10. Decafalon (N.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
11. Glibido (V): All talk and no action.
12. Dopeler effect (N): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
13. Arachnoleptic fit (N.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
14. Beelzebug (N.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
15. Caterpallor (N.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the literature: 16. Ignoranus (N): A person who's both stupid and an asshole

 

[TheRealTMA]

 

[p--and--t]

 

[p--and--t]

 

[Flashback]

Lockdown lingo - are you fully conversant with the new terminology?

Coronacoaster
The ups and downs of your mood during the pandemic. You’re loving lockdown one minute but suddenly weepy with anxiety the next. It truly is “an emotional coronacoaster”.

Quarantinis
Experimental coughtails mixed from whatever random ingredients you have left in the house. The boozy equivalent of a store cupboard supper. Southern Comfort and Ribena quarantini with a glacé cherry garnish, anyone? These are sipped at “locktail hour”, ie. wine o’clock during lockdown, which seems to be creeping earlier with each passing week.

Le Creuset wrist
It’s the new “avocado hand” - an aching arm after taking one’s best saucepan outside to bang during the weekly ‘Clap For Carers.’ It might be heavy but you’re keen to impress the neighbours with your high-quality kitchenware.

Coronials
As opposed to millennials, this refers to the future generation of babies conceived or born during coronavirus quarantine. They might also become known as “Generation C” or, more spookily, “Children of the Quarn”.

Furlough Merlot
Wine consumed in an attempt to relieve the frustration of not working. Also known as “bored-eaux” or “cabernet tedium”.

Coronadose
An overdose of bad news from consuming too much media during a time of crisis. Can result in a panicdemic.

The elephant in the Zoom
The glaring issue during a videoconferencing call that nobody feels able to mention. E.g. one participant has dramatically put on weight, suddenly sprouted terrible facial hair or has a worryingly messy house visible in the background.

Quentin Quarantino
An attention-seeker using their time in lockdown to make amateur films which they’re convinced are funnier and cleverer than they actually are.

Covidiot or Wuhan-ker
One who ignores public health advice or behaves with reckless disregard for the safety of others can be said to display “covidiocy” or be “covidiotic”. Also called a “lockclown” or even a “Wuhan-ker”.

Goutbreak
The sudden fear that you’ve consumed so much wine, cheese, home-made cake and Easter chocolate in lockdown that your ankles are swelling up like a medieval king’s.

Antisocial distancing
Using health precautions as an excuse for snubbing neighbours and generally ignoring people you find irritating.

Coughin’ dodger
Someone so alarmed by an innocuous splutter or throat-clear that they back away in terror.

Mask-ara
Extra make-up applied to "make one's eyes pop" before venturing out in public wearing a face mask.

Covid-10
The 10lbs in weight that we’re all gaining from comfort-eating and comfort-drinking. Also known as “fattening the curve”.

 

[p--and--t]

 

[TheRealTMA]

 

[Major]

 

[get me outta here]

Elon Musk and his partner(?) called Grimes, have named their baby X Æ A-12. Anyone have an idea what this may mean?

[Ok, it’s easy - "X" stands for the "unknowable variable," "Æ" is her "elven spelling" of artificial intelligence and/or love, and "A-12" is her and Musk's favorite aircraft, the Canadian musician wrote on Twitter Tuesday, a day after she gave birth to her son.”]

 

[TheRealTMA]

Elon Musk and his partner(?) called Grimes, have named their baby X Æ A-12. Anyone have an idea what this may mean?

[Ok, it’s easy - "X" stands for the "unknowable variable," "Æ" is her "elven spelling" of artificial intelligence and/or love, and "A-12" is her and Musk's favorite aircraft, the Canadian musician wrote on Twitter Tuesday, a day after she gave birth to her son.”]

Yes. W*nk*r parents.

 

[p--and--t]

 

[p--and--t]

 

[TheRealTMA]

New words.

Urban Dictionary: Covidiot

Relating to the 2020 Covid-19 virus: Someone who ignores the warnings regarding public health or safety. A person who hoards goods, denying them from their neighbors.

www.urbandictionary.com