A bit of humour

[Hvr]

As I'm sure many of you now realise:

The modern armchair is the vinyl resting place.

 

[TheRealTMA]

As I'm sure many of you now realise:

The modern armchair is the vinyl resting place.

Not putting my classic vinyl in an armchair, Mate!

 

[Hvr]

How do you fix a broken tomato?
With tomato paste.

Post automatically merged: May 7, 2020

Q How long is a foot?





A 12 inches as a rule.

 

[Hvr]

A guy asks his waiter how the chef prepares the chicken.

The waiter says, "Nothing special. He just tells the chicken it's going to die."

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I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I probably wouldn't get a reaction.


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Were do you take someone that been injured in a peek-a-boo accident..........the ICU

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What do you call a row of rabbits hopping away? A receding hare line!


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Why did the lobster giggle?



Because the sea weed!

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What did the mathematical acorn say when he grew up? "Gee, ahm a tree."


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To the guy who invented zero: Thanks for nothing!


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What did the 0 say to the 8? "Nice belt"


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Here's a deep question:

Would you say a cemetery follows the 6 foot rule?

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The Past, the Present and the Future all walk into a bar... things got tense real fast

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What would Australia be known as if everyone drove a pink car?

A pink carnation.

 

[Hvr]

I thought my snail would speed up if I removed its shell. It did not, it got more sluggish.

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Definition of "out of bounds"


A tired kangaroo

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Why is T like an island?

It’s in the middle of water

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Why do dolphins live in saltwater?

Pepper makes them sneeze.

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[Hvr]

If athletes get athlete's foot, what do astronauts get?

Missile toe.


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Q: Why did the T-Rex go extinct?


A: Its arms were too short to sneeze into his elbows!

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She was only the daughter of a rancher, but all the horse manure.

 

[p--and--t]

A guy asks his waiter how the chef prepares the chicken.

The waiter says, "Nothing special. He just tells the chicken it's going to die."

it would be kinder just to refrain from saying anything.

 

[love_the_life]

it would be kinder just to refrain from saying anything.

wan't the same joke on here a couple of pages ago? With a pic as well?

 

[Bundy Bear]

More from Facebook

 

[mrs.dr.ron]

 

[p--and--t]

 

[TheRealTMA]

Did somebody say 'health and safety?

 

[p--and--t]

 

[Hvr]

There are no good chemistry jokes. They argon.

 

[TheRealTMA]

There are no good chemistry jokes. They argon.

Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
A: HeHe

 

[p--and--t]

They walk amongst us

Kentucky woman cuts hole in face mask to breathe 'easier'

If you thought you’d seen everything, here’s a new one: A Kentucky woman cut a hole in her protective face mask because it made it “easier to breathe.”

torontosun.com

 

[Hvr]

Q: What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
A: HeHe

You're in your element here.

 

[TheRealTMA]

You're in your element here.

He He He. (Helium Helium Helium)


What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?

Keep telling them until you get a reaction.

 

[codash1099]

He He He. (Helium Helium Helium)


What should you do if no one laughs at your chemistry jokes?

Keep telling them until you get a reaction.

No need to get light headed.

 

[TheRealTMA]

No need to get light headed.