A bit of humour

[Major]

 

[straitman]

View attachment 243403

So where do we get them?

 

[drron]

 

[NM]

I just gave my kids a lesson about taxation. I ate 37% of their ice cream.

 

[Major]

 

[codash1099]

I hope Elon Musk doesn't get involved in a scandal.

Elongate could stretch out forever.

 

[Major]

 

[Hvr]

I see with the lack of live sport being televised in the world -
that the Origami World Champs are on this weekend - on Paperview

 

[Hvr]

What's the difference between agnosticism and apathy?

I don't know and I don't care.

 

[Hvr]

Bill Gates died and went to Heaven.

Saint Peter showed him to his house, a small cottage on a tiny plot in the woods. The closets were full of simple but serviceable clothing, and the kitchen was stocked with the basic needs.

Bill slowly settled into a modest and quiet life in heaven.

One day, Bill was walking in one of Heaven's many fine parks, when he ran into a man dressed in a fine tailored suit.

"That is a nice suit, my friend," said Gates. "Where did you get it?"

"Actually," the man replied, "I was given a hundred of these when I got here. I've been treated really well. I got a mansion on a hill overlooking a beautiful lake. I have a huge five-hundred acre estate, a golf course, tennis courts and three Rolls Royces."

"Were you the Pope, or a doctor who healed the sick?" asked Gates.

"No," said his new friend, "Actually, I was the captain of the Titanic."

Hearing this made Gates so angry that he immediately stalked off to find St. Peter.

Cornering St. Peter, Bill told him about the man he had just met, saying, "How could you give me a paltry new house, while you're showering new cars, a mansion, and fine suits on the Captain of the Titanic? I invented the Windows operating system! Why does he deserve better?"

"Yes, we use Windows here in heaven," replied Peter, "and the Titanic only crashed once."

 

[Hvr]

Why haven't aliens come to our Solar system?

The reviews say it is only one star.

 

[straitman]

Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry erase board (white board) has to be the most remarkable

 

[NM]

Q. What rhymes with orange?

A. No, it does not.

 

[Hvr]

Why did the hedgehog cross the road?

To visit his flatmate.

 

[codash1099]

 

[Hvr]

For sale: Dead canary.

Not going cheap.

 

[VPS]

OMG @Hvr is back

 

[JohnM]

OMG @Hvr is back

With a vengeance...

 

[Hvr]

What do you call a patronising criminal going down a flight of stairs?

A condescending con descending.

 

[TheRealTMA]