A bit of humour

[sagittariusdrake]

View attachment 301006

Could've been worse ...
eg Open 24 hours, Never closes, Parties welcome etc

 

[drron]

 

[codash1099]

 

[drron]

 

[prozac]

Five ants move into an apartment. Soon their 5 partners moved in as well.
Now they are tenants together.

 

[drron]

 

[straitman]

 

[prozac]

PM Albanese and Climate Change minister Chris Bowen decide a visit to rural Australia is in order to get first hand knowledge about how the government will capitalise on animal methane emissions. There's got to be a tax for this, right?
After a tour by an obliging station owner PM Albanese says to the coughie, "I have been counting the sheep as we drove around your property. I tallied 10,201 sheep. Under our government's new methane tax system I calculate you have one sheep too many, so I will take this sheep back with me to Canberra to highlight to cabinet how farmers will try to fudge their stock numbers and so avoid paying their fair share tax"
The old coughie leans against his farm truck looks Albanese in the eye and says, "I have you know I keep very good records and I have 10,200 sheep, no more, no less. Now put down my bloody dog."

 

[JohnM]

Jetstar to introduce octagon cage so bogans booted off planes can fight for a seat on the next flight - The Bell Tower Times

Rather than lament its clientele, Jetstar has decided to “lean into it” and install an octagon fight cage as one sees in the UFC in the departure area.

www.thebelltowertimes.com

 

[Hvr]

On the first day of my flying lessons, I looked down nervously and asked my instructor,
“What are all these buttons for?”

She said, “Those are to keep your shirt closed.”

 

[Hvr]

Went to salsa classes last night.


Looked a right idiot when I turned up with a big bag of Doritos.

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These instructions on my insect killer are ridiculous.

It says, ‘Do Not Spray Near Eyes’

Who cares about being that precise?

I'm just going to spray the whole wasp.

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I once visited a postcard factory.

It was good, but nothing to write home about.

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Every time I see a Hall of Mirrors I have to go in, even though it reflects badly on me.

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Q: What job is a letter full of gas?


A: A fizzy O

 

[straitman]

 

[Scr77]

View attachment 303655

Sorry, but one side is standard and the other side is imperial!

 

[Hvr]

I bought a book about the dangers of deforestation.

The first page says, “You’re not helping”

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i went to a postman's birthday party yesterday.
We played pass the "Sorry You Were Out" card.

 

[straitman]

Sorry, but one side is standard and the other side is imperial!

It’s a very old spanner. When it was built the standard was imperial and metric was the alternate.

 

[Hvr]

I accidentally drank some invisible ink earlier.
Now I'm in hospital waiting to be seen.

++++++++++++++++++++

 

[mrs.dr.ron]

 

[NM]

The new door has been installed at No. 10

 

[VPS]

Slightly political talking about Liz Truss speech

The performance was so wooden. Getting rid of her wouldn't be regicide it would be deforestation

And for all those that @ me I know it's not regicide because she's the prime minister

 

[mrs.dr.ron]