A bit of humour

[Major]

 

[coriander]

A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says,'OK old fart, Time for you to retire.'

The old rooster replies, 'Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL of these chickens. Look what it has done to me
Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?'

The young rooster says,
'Beat it: You are washed up
And I am taking over.'

The old rooster says,
'I tell you what, young stud.
I will race you around the farmhouse.. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop.'

The young rooster laughs.
'You know you don't stand a chance, old man. So, just to be fair, I will give you a head start.'

The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him.
They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap.

He is only about 5 feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast!
The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch when he sees the roosters running by.

The Old Rooster is squawking
And running as hard as he can.
The Farmer grabs his shotgun and
- BOOM -
He blows the young rooster to bits. The farmer sadly shakes his head and says,

'Dammit...
Third gay rooster I bought this month.'

 

[Bundy Bear]

 

[prozac]

 

[prozac]

So who remembers 3 minute abs?

 

[coriander]

Last night just before midnight I raised my left leg .

I wanted to start 2023 on the right foot.

 

[Ansett]

 

[Hvr]

Ok, now I feel old.

 

[Scarlett]

 

[Major]

 

[coriander]

I asked my son to hand me a phone book.

He laughed at me called me a dinosaur and passed me his new Google Pixel 7.

So now the spider is flattened and dead, the phone's screen is broken and he's mad at me.

 

[prozac]

When the party gets out of hand.

 

[SYD]

When the party gets out of hand.
View attachment 313605

Unplugged…

 

[prozac]

Unplugged…

Polka Face

 

[Captain Halliday]

Is that Russell Crowe on the oil heater?

 

[codash1099]

 

[Hvr]

 

[Hvr]

 

[Hvr]

My car wouldn't start this morning.
I looked under the bonnet and saw a bat sitting on the engine block.
He said: "Good day to you Sir! And might I remark how splendid you look today?"
I knew the problem straight away.
Bat flattery

***********************

 

[Colin 2905]

View attachment 313734

On the subject of eggs, why is it that you have to pay for Range Eggs, even though it clearly says that they are Free?