Am I Really So Out of Touch?

[sergeyvzn]

what an interesting thread! made my day

BR actually comes across as a normal bloke, just happens to be having some down time now. The good news is - it will pass! It all does get better.

I've been through my dad's loss and a relationship breakup and I still think life is wonderful.

I hope you will soon feel better about yourself and your life in general!

 

[shellthom]

Bill. It is a big regret of mine that I was so caught up in what was happening in my life. I didn't stop to tell you how sad it made me when your Mother passed. You and I had discussed it a lot. From her going into a home etc. We knew it was inevitable but it still hurts.

I was lucky enough to be holding Mums hand when she died. But with Dad. He went into hospital feeling unwell and within 12 hours he had died. I was in Italy he was in Perth.


I promise we will catch up for a drink soon. You're a man I consider to be a friend and we can toast our parents.

I'm so saddened to hear this. Even if you were to try and be back 12 hours isn't enough time to be there.
I haven't read the whole thread yet - as I am currently off work ill and have taken my 2 tablets which are making my brain function slowly and my eye sight blur as it tries to force me to sleep.

You have had some real life changing events happen recently and I applaud you for the courage to seek what you are looking for outside of your comfort zone.

To shed some light on our situation - my partner this year is on 80k, I make 50 k but work less than half the year most years (means changing jobs) because I just don't like to work. This puts us combined on 100k or less combined.
We holiday, for leisure. Once or twice a year my partner may have a work trip to melbourne but we holiday. We are considered "out of touch", I think the problem is if you holiday more than once or twice a year, or more than once overseas a year, or even regularly you are considered not normal (excluding most on this forum of course). Because as you current/soon to be ex partner motioned - career is more important.
I couldn't agree with that sentiment less. Life is the most important thing, with out it you can't live. I watched a friend die in front of me at school when i was 9 (she was 10). I had no idea what was happening, she ran past me then dropped to the ground, and never got up again (she had a heart condition and I found out much later it was expected but I didn't know).
Parents always want the best for their kids, kids who grew up with hardship always want to be able to provide more for their kids, which means good education good job good connections whatever, but I don't know any parent who would want their child to be hurting just to be successful. My parents are happy that I am happy. Yes I have more than they had, yes I try to share what I can, but they couldn't care less if I was the CEO of the biggest company or the toilet cleaner of it.

FOOD, Fine Dining! go for it. I have made these at home and hope to be able to make some more of the fine dining fancy things..
Balsamic Vinegar Pearls Recipe | Molecular Recipes
this is the video link Molecular Gastronomy - Balsamic Vinegar Pearls - Perles de vinaigre balsamique - YouTube

As someone said, people who matter to you matter the most, if they don't have the opinion of you that you would like I would be having conversations with them around why rather than try to "live" how they do. Time is the most precious thing. You can meet some amazing people on planes, airports, taxi ranks, hotels, bars, clubs, anywhere. So if you can take something from the experience or meet some new people it has all been worth it.

But please don't try to change who you are for others, do it for yourself only.
Do what makes you happy (if your learning the finer art of fine dining you can cook for me anytime!).

The saying:
"The clock is running. Make the most of today. Time waits for no man. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it is called the present"
Is how I have lived.

Also, I like the fire preparedness ads they have on TV. Planing to make a plan is not making a plan.... planning to live or get back in touch or whatever is not living/getting back in touch. You just gotta get out there and do it, live, appreciate (wine and good food).

My thoughts are with everyone on this forum, I have taken a few minutes silence for you all and your losses. It breaks my heart to read about it and I hope you are all doing well.

It sounds like you actually have a close family/friend network - and most people have a small number of true friends so your numbers aren't any different to the rest of us (if we are honest with ourselves).

I hope that you can come up for air from under all the burden/despair/grief/loss you are feeling, and I hope that you meet some great people who bring joy back into your heart.

** If I have said anything offensive or non sensical please forgive me - neither are intended - i am on very strong pain killers and I don't often take the normal ones so they have a very dramatic effect **

 

[QF WP]

I'm glad that you came back to the thread and gave us more of the real "you". That defines you and one can't (and shouldn't try) to worry too much about what others think. Live your liife and if you are happy, then you have met the brief.

As I write this. I am in the Galleries Lounge LHR T3. I have a Y ticket all the way to AKL and then I'm there for 15 hours (Hopefully Euro for dinner with Mr Osborne) before heading back to SYD to join QF1 on Sunday. (That's NOT Y)

Look forward to seeing you then .

 

[Flashback]

Plane has gone tech twice. Still on the ground at LHR.

I'm sitting with everyone else. 2 things I have discovered. There are no pre take off alcoholic drinks offered. There are no charging points for my iPad.

I do not like this at all.

Aren't you on an A380? All whY seats have access to power... enjoy the flight, it's not so bad

 

[bossreggie]

Aren't you on an A380? All whY seats have access to power... enjoy the flight, it's not so bad

Yes. I found the usb thing in the arm rest.

 

[medhead]

Yes. I found the usb thing in the arm rest.

There is also a power socket underneath the seat in front. Under the grey seat frame bit, so kind of in front of the armrest.

 

[bossreggie]

There is also a power socket underneath the seat in front. Under the grey seat frame bit, so kind of in front of the armrest.

I'm hoping I never need to look for this.

Thanks though. I never saw that at all.

 

[coolumbla]

and how was the whole experience?

An di bet the SIN lounge wasn't even open?

 

[bossreggie]

and how was the whole experience?

An di bet the SIN lounge wasn't even open?

I did not like it. I did not say a single word to anybody on the plane. I was asked when I boarded and sat down if I was a QFF member but I said no.

We used the EK Lounge in SIN but we were there for 30 minutes.

 

[Sprucegoose]

Sounds like boss reg needs to go on a trek of India. The ol mid life crisis has come early! At least it arrived, for some it never does.....

Spiritual people never talk of wealth in monetary terms.

 

[bossreggie]

Sounds like boss reg needs to go on a trek of India. The ol mid life crisis has come early! At least it arrived, for some it never does.....

Spiritual people never talk of wealth in monetary terms.

Not sure about mid life crisis. I probably had that when my Mum died. I am certainly looking at lots of things in my life at the moment though.

A trek anywhere is not on my horizon to be fair.

I have never been spiritual or aligned with any religon. I've just always tried to look after my family and friends as best I can.

 

[shellthom]

I think for most people who travel often they need not trek because their mind is probably more open and enlightened to most and Bossreggie already knew such things as family and friends (people) are what matters most - which is generally want people have come back saying from these kinds of treks that and how amazing the world is. "These people have nothing and yet they are happy... I want to live like that"... and I think - they are happy because they have each other not because they have nothing, not because they face adversity but because they do these things together.

Maybe bossreggies trek is food. I am always so happy when I can make something absurdly difficult and lovely for people.
There is some mantra (Indian guru I think for one of their religions) "the best gift one can give is food"

 

[Geegeela]

I have never been spiritual or aligned with any religon. I've just always tried to look after my family and friends as best I can.

"Write me as one that loves his fellow men".
The angel wrote, and vanished. The next night
It came again with a great wakening light,
And showed the names whom love of God had blessed,
And lo! Ben Adhem's name led all the rest.

James Henry Leigh Hunt

 

[Mollycram]

Boss Reggie, am really sorry to read that you recently lost your dad. I lost my dad about six months ago and I too was away at the time. Quite honestly, I have really struggled with the fact that I wasn't there when he died....even though it was unexpected. It's only after six months that I can think about the fantastic times we shared and not focus on what we have lost. Be kind to yourself during this time.....

 

[Julesmac]

Wow BossReggie, plenty of responses for you to consider. Clearly you are going through a time of great change - challenging, and sad to be sure, (sympathy on your bereavement) but one cannot love in life without also experiencing sadness and loss.It doesn't mean you hold back from loving and giving, just in case you are going to get hurt. As well as losing your dad, you are also grieving over the loss of your relationship, itself a kind of death. So a double whammy which certainly makes for introspection and a reappraisal of your life's journey. Clearly this is what you are going through, and full marks for having the courage to attempt some changes. Someone mentioned a tv show which involved turning the tables, boss/worker. There's also another called 'The Secret Millionaire', which involves wealthy people going undercover and working generally with charities, volunteers etc. who help the disadvantaged. The undercover person works with a number of these for a short period. It's very interesting to see the effect that working so closely in these situations has. So often you see folk who have little themselves yet give so much of themselves to help. Very humbling, these are very ordinary folk, often without many material things themselves, who nevertheless do some extraordinary things. The sheer goodness and generosity of people, doing things without expectation of recognition or reward, is amazing. You indicated that you donate money (very generously I note) to worthy causes. But I do wonder if some of your searching, as others on this forum have also mentioned, might include giving of your own time in some similar manner to the premise of these tv shows - probably exaggerated and shaped for tv, but perhaps worth considering? I sense in you an emptiness, an underlying heaviness of spirit, call it what you will - I believe that you are sincerely trying to reassess your life, but maybe the things you are choosing are external rather than internal. You've been doing some soul-searching, perhaps you could think about some soul-restoring as well.
I hope that's not too heavy and touchy-feely but my them's my thoughts on your present predicament. I do wish you a little less bumpy journey - and can I also say that wearing a hair shirt is one thing, but jeepers, travelling down the back end of the bus is just going too far! Chin up

 

[Rallygirl]

Sorry to hear of the recent loss of your father. Like many others have said, this next while will be a very introspective time for you and I hope that you find what you need.


I have not met you, nor anyone else from this forum other than speaking to Travel Guru when booking some flights last year, but I can see that you are an often mentioned and well liked and admired member of this community. Your travel experiences are what many aspire to and if it is what makes you happy then they should definitely not be kerbed.


You actually remind me of a couple I know from a car forum my husband reads. The majority of members would have been driving cars worth from $5k - $40k whereas this couple were multimillionaires with a 10 car garage of Porsches and a Merc. This was all immaterial to the members I met. The couple were so eager to share their love of vehicles and driving they were forever organising events for the members to attend, that it was their efforts, enthusiasm and generosity that was all anyone ever mentioned of them. Their wealth was never mentioned with disdain. This is how I see you on AFF. An enthusiastic and generous member who loves to share his love of travel and the experiences that come with it. People don't see you as the pompous rich guy, but rather the person who has the means to travel when and where you like - what we would all really like to be able to do.


Although you have already experienced (suffered?) Y, I thought I would suggest an alternative way to appreciate the value of travel BR style. I am not sure it is practical or even possible but thought I would share the idea regardless. When you are travelling I assume you have a spare seat next to you. Stand at the airport and find someone that is travelling in Y who you imagine would never otherwise experience higher class travel and upgrade them to your spare seat. By observing their reactions to each of the experiences of the "perks of the privleged", you can be reminded of the joys of higher class travel.


As a side note, this is not meant to be a tool to find another 20yo partner. That one has to be by doing what you love doing and eventually finding someone else with the same, compatible passions as yourself, which nearly always happens when you are not expecting it.


All the best with your searching, and enjoy your return trip back home.

 

[bossreggie]

Travelling in Y is never about the journey BR, just the destination.

It was the whole...... Your emergency exit and counting the rows which confused me.

Normally it's like.......... ZERO.

 

[Tooner]

It was the whole...... Your emergency exit and counting the rows which confused me.

Normally it's like.......... ZERO.

and realising that you can reach the seat in front and therefore brace with your head on your folded arms, rather than chin down arms at your side!

 

[coolumbla]

It was the whole...... Your emergency exit and counting the rows which confused me.

Normally it's like.......... ZERO.

and its not behind you!

 

[shellthom]

on my first ever flight, (United to LA) I was travelling alone and things that occurred during the safety briefing:

(A lot of chatter in the cabin so I couldn't hear clearly)

To put the seat belt on: me "OH thats how you do it..."
To undo the seatbelt: OMG I'm stuck wait what was that *starts to hyperventilate* - person next to me - like this lift UP like this ... *crisis averted*

We will now point out the emergency exits: *usesless flapping of flight attendant arms* me: WTF is that omg where are these exits wholly cough I am going to die
The best thing to do is count the number of rows... remember it might be behind you: *stands slightly in seat to try and count - thinking is it really that hard to have the flight attendants all just stand in the emergency exists and wave like here here its here ok*

You life vest is under your seat... end of speech: ..
I then leaned over and asked the girl next to me (we had an empty seat in between) and asked where our parachute was. She was very confused, and I said you know for when we are going to crash but still in the air so we can all jump out and live.. and she said: "oh no they don't do that if they crash they WANT you to go down with the plane."
Hmm and here I was thinking I just didn't hear it when they said it because of all the talking over the top of the announcement that was happening.

Needless to say I was more than confused and the safety briefing and lack of useful information terrified me.

True story.

And now that I travel with my partner every flight after the safety briefing I ask where the parachute is... but at least his answer is nicer(??): "at the speed and altitude and with those big engines sucking in you'd die faster than just crashing with the plane."

I look back on that first flight and I laugh and tell the story of how stupid/ignorant/naive I was but given that I was so disillusioned, I always listen/watch/pay attention to the safety briefing because I might have someone just like me on my first flight nearby.
Without that briefing I literally couldn't figure out the buckle on the seat belt.
The girl next to me may have laughed - I don't remember - but she can't have been rude about it otherwise I would have remembered.

The point of my story is I think everyone would prefer to count "zero" than try work out where they need to exit from... thats not an indication of being out of touch.