Dealing with poor manners

[auspal]

Whats the general consensus then? Maybe we should have a poll. I am going to feel guilty next time I recline, incase I am upsetting someone!!! Never thought about it until now.

 

[medhead]

No need for a poll. The answer is as follows:

1. Unfortunately, not everyone is as considerate of others as we are.
2. We need to be considerate of other in not reclining.
3. We need to be considerate of others who do recline for their own personal reasons that are unknown to us.

In other words both sides are correct. Let's put this puppy to bed for the next few months anyway.


Sent from the Throne

 

[Moody]

Whats the general consensus then? Maybe we should have a poll. I am going to feel guilty next time I recline, incase I am upsetting someone!!! Never thought about it until now.

My emphasis and it speaks volumes about some people's innate lack of empathy. Maybe chronic recliners have a psychological problem?

But I agree with Medhead - let's get off this merry-go-round. It will still be there next time we go to the playground.

 

[Deleted member]

If the lights are off , and it's late / night, and the meal has been served and eaten, and it's a long flight, it is definitely ok to recline .

 

[auspal]

I can see where you got your user name from.

My emphasis and it speaks volumes about some people's innate lack of empathy. Maybe chronic recliners have a psychological problem?

But I agree with Medhead - let's get off this merry-go-round. It will still be there next time we go to the playground.

 

[eosphoros]

I had a pretty bad experience the other day on AB flying TXL to BCN. I checked the seat map in the BA lounge before boarding and noted that the seat next to me was blocked. Certainly was the case as the seat next to me was empty... Not for long.

Once the seat belt sign went off, I pulled out my iPad to watch some TV and get comfortable. After a few minutes, I realize that there is someone in the aisle accessing their bags that keeps bumping into my elbow. I look around and a Spanish girl looks at me, then the empty seat next to me. A little confused at this point as that is clearly not her seat. Anyway, I let her through and she sort of climbs over the seats. I sit back down and get comfortable again: so much for the empty seat next to me.

I notice that she has kinda dumped all her bags onto the floor. Not under the seat in front, but all the space in front of her seat! Where were her legs you ask? Well she wasn't sitting facing forward. She was facing backward. Her a** was politely using my armrest as a seat as she knelt on the seat facing backward. Why was she doing this? So she can play cards with her travelling companions. In what world is this acceptable?? Now, in the interests of in flight harmony, I did not say anything... Although I was really quite angry, even thinking at one point that I should pick her up and throw her back to whatever seat she came from. In the end, I ended up giving her quite a few dirty looks. I think the message got through after a while (or the game finished) and she sat down properly. Though that didn't stop her from continuously turning back to have long chats, using the entirety of my armrest, and invading my personal space, to poke her head through the crack between the seats.

If it weren't for being engrossed in a few episodes of Mad Men, I would have definitely lost it.

 

[Awesom Andy]

Or she was just using the games and chats as an excuse to get close to you? :shock:

 

[bigjobs]

I had a pretty bad experience the other day on AB flying TXL to BCN. I checked the seat map in the BA lounge before boarding and noted that the seat next to me was blocked. Certainly was the case as the seat next to me was empty... Not for long.

Once the seat belt sign went off, I pulled out my iPad to watch some TV and get comfortable. After a few minutes, I realize that there is someone in the aisle accessing their bags that keeps bumping into my elbow. I look around and a Spanish girl looks at me, then the empty seat next to me. A little confused at this point as that is clearly not her seat. Anyway, I let her through and she sort of climbs over the seats. I sit back down and get comfortable again: so much for the empty seat next to me.

I notice that she has kinda dumped all her bags onto the floor. Not under the seat in front, but all the space in front of her seat! Where were her legs you ask? Well she wasn't sitting facing forward. She was facing backward. Her a** was politely using my armrest as a seat as she knelt on the seat facing backward. Why was she doing this? So she can play cards with her travelling companions. In what world is this acceptable?? Now, in the interests of in flight harmony, I did not say anything... Although I was really quite angry, even thinking at one point that I should pick her up and throw her back to whatever seat she came from. In the end, I ended up giving her quite a few dirty looks. I think the message got through after a while (or the game finished) and she sat down properly. Though that didn't stop her from continuously turning back to have long chats, using the entirety of my armrest, and invading my personal space, to poke her head through the crack between the seats.

If it weren't for being engrossed in a few episodes of Mad Men, I would have definitely lost it.

IMO, you need to take them on about this BS behaviour. 'You get what you tolerate' is something that I believe in. I reckon most people are either unaware of their behaviour or just trying to bluff their way through. call them out on their bluff and or make them aware of their behaviour.

 

[auspal]

I would say she was probably unaware of her behaviour, and I agree with bigjobs, a few tactful comments wouldnt have gone astray.

 

[Deleted member]

I think you are being too generous. People ( like her) behave as they are allowed, if you give an inch they will take a mile.

 

[Moody]

The behaviour was obviously anti-social in this case, but if instead she had merely moved seats is there still an etiquette issue? In other words are there any unspoken rules about who can use spare seats?

On a recent DFW/BNE flight some colleagues got the QC desk to allocate them up the back of the lightly loaded flight, with possibly some sort of blocking of seats to boot. As soon as the seat-belt sign went out they spread themselves over the 3-4 seats each and got a decent amount of kip. Good move and in this case there would be no chance of another passenger intruding on their claim (I would have thought).

But when it is a day flight and you have one of the few vacant middle seats beside you, is there any implicit ownership involved?

My tactic, when it becomes apparent the seat beside me is vacant, is to drop my headphones/newspaper/mobile onto "my" half of the seat. This is more to inform my fellow traveller by the window that this is a shared resource. I also often drop the table down after I have finished my meal so I can move my tray onto it and beat the rush for the toilets.

But I have never had someone try to occupy the seat and don't know if there's much I could do about it.

 

[MEL_Traveller]

The behaviour was obviously anti-social in this case, but if instead she had merely moved seats is there still an etiquette issue? In other words are there any unspoken rules about who can use spare seats?

On a recent DFW/BNE flight some colleagues got the QC desk to allocate them up the back of the lightly loaded flight, with possibly some sort of blocking of seats to boot. As soon as the seat-belt sign went out they spread themselves over the 3-4 seats each and got a decent amount of kip. Good move and in this case there would be no chance of another passenger intruding on their claim (I would have thought).

But when it is a day flight and you have one of the few vacant middle seats beside you, is there any implicit ownership involved?

My tactic, when it becomes apparent the seat beside me is vacant, is to drop my headphones/newspaper/mobile onto "my" half of the seat. This is more to inform my fellow traveller by the window that this is a shared resource. I also often drop the table down after I have finished my meal so I can move my tray onto it and beat the rush for the toilets.

But I have never had someone try to occupy the seat and don't know if there's much I could do about it.

I think the rules are thus:

• spare seat beside a passenger... belongs to the lucky passenger... unless someone has to move to that seat because they have a good reason to leave their assigned seat (sitting next to an obese pax, moving to allow a family to sit together, moving away from a passenger who is snoring, moving because their IFE is not working)

• several spare seats... anyone's claim - first in first served. However if I was on something like an A330 and has the A/B seats to myself, I might move back to those seats after waking up if I had been sleeping in D/E/F/G for a few hours to allow someone else to use them for a sleep.

• if on a 747/A380 and you have A/B/C to yourself... then it should stay yours if the flight is not ultra long haul... On the QF7 SYD-DFW at 16 hours the crew did a pretty good job of shuffling people around - especially is the A/B/C and H/J/K seats were occupied by people who didn't know each other - they moved many of the B and J pax to prem Y seats (sold as Y - this cabin was pretty empty when boarding finished but was soon filled up)

 

[Deleted member]

I couldn't help myself,I had to take a snap,
this hand appeared in front of me on and off all flight AKL-BNE today.
Sometimes touching my IFE screen and changing the settings.
The interesting thing was the owner was a short wee lady ( yes hard working hands there) so quite a stretch for her to get her hand up there.

 

[Rebekkap]

Yesterday on 4pm SYD-MEL flight I was in a window seat in row 8, the seat in the middle was empty, the aisle was occupied by a woman in perhaps her early fifties. She spent the first half of the flight working on a PowerPoint presentation, and the second half plucking hairs out of her chin with tweezers. I was horrified.

 

[Happy Trails]

Yesterday on 4pm SYD-MEL flight I was in a window seat in row 8, the seat in the middle was empty, the aisle was occupied by a woman in perhaps her early fifties. She spent the first half of the flight working on a PowerPoint presentation, and the second half plucking hairs out of her chin with tweezers. I was horrified.

Yeah, PowerPoints have that effect on me too.

 

[jetlagger]

View attachment 8853

I couldn't help myself,I had to take a snap,
this hand appeared in front of me on and off all flight AKL-BNE today.
Sometimes touching my IFE screen and changing the settings.
The interesting thing was the owner was a short wee lady ( yes hard working hands there) so quite a stretch for her to get her hand up there.

It looks atrocious.. The posture.. The hand, and the ugly fingernails.. Complete intrusion to your 'personal space".. Certainly not conducive to a pleasant flight experience..

 

[amaroo]

It looks atrocious.. The posture.. The hand, and the ugly fingernails.. Complete intrusion to your 'personal space".. Certainly not conducive to a pleasant flight experience..

Hobbit hands.....can you imagine what the feet look like!

 

[JohnK]

The interesting thing was the owner was a short wee lady ( yes hard working hands there) so quite a stretch for her to get her hand up there.

I have a habit of stretching my arms on my headrest quote regularly. It actually makes me feel better by stretching the upper arm/shoulder muscles/tendons.

I shall try and remember not to be too intrusive....

 

[Deleted member]

I have a habit of stretching my arms on my headrest quote regularly. It actually makes me feel better by stretching the upper arm/shoulder muscles/tendons.

I shall try and remember not to be too intrusive....

I have recently decided to fly only in J or not all, ( however Mrs GPH) pointed out that flying to AKL for dinner ( the auckland food month was on and Matt Moran was doing a thing at euro, really fantastic) and then home the next day was extravagant , let alone doing it in J. ( she has planned another dinner outing in Sydney on the same basis in October) so I relented.
I am going to put my foot down from now on though.
The lady in question may in fact be unaware of her actions and on all other levels was not a bad mannered pest.
The flight was about 60% full AFAICT and most of us had a spare seat between us in the whY cabin.
The lady did the full recline after meal service, not many others did I noted when walking to the back of the plane for a comfort stop. So as a result ( and due in no small part to the good folk at AFF) I checked with the man seated behind and asked if he minded I recline as well .
He seemed mildly surprised by my request , but said it wasn't a problem. He and mrs were travelling with a very new baby, which was difficult enough .
So in hind sight , not getting the hump with the lady in front and checking with the guy behind certainly contributed to me enjoying ( if you can enjoy being cramped into Y, even if only for 3 hours or so) the flight where once I may well have disembarked in a grumpy mood.
So a big thanks to those on this site that encourage good etiquette, and restraint and forgiveness of others.

 

[Awesom Andy]

It's always good to check what's happening behind you before you recline, even if you don't plan to ask. A couple of weeks ago, I was standing up to help another pax with his baggage while mid-air (he was in the window seat), and the pax in front decided it was a good time to do a full recline, which pushed me down, and fell as a result. Despite the engine noise in the A320, I'm sure at least half the plane looked at me as I let out a four-letter expletive...