Dealing with poor manners

[HarryB]

I apologise if this has been discussed before so please forgive my laziness for not checking properly.

No doubt most if not every AFF member has encountered bad manners of varying degrees while flying so how does everyone deal with it?

What has prompted this is on a recent flight my wife and I encountered a particularly offensive effort that was so bad we initially thought it was an act. The bloke behind us was so loud eating it was unbelievable. He was smacking his lips every single chew and it was loud ... real loud ... loud enough that at one point we honestly thought he was taking the piss. The first thought was that maybe he had a physical issue that meant he couldn't eat with the manners his mother taught him but there was nothing noticeable as it would almost certainly have hindered him when he spoke and as he hardly shut up the rest of the flight we were confident it wasn't anything other than cough manners.

Anyway, my wife's theory is quite childish but mildly amusing - start by an exaggerated adjustment of seating position to make the tray table wobble around (an annoying manners issue itself) or if sitting behind an exaggerated folding up of the tray table to bounce the seat. If that fails she makes comments to me loud enough that the offender should also be able to hear. For me, I'd like to point out to the offender that they've got no manners and can they pipe down but normally I bite my tongue in the interests of in flight harmony. But then I find myself getting more annoyed and wanting to lose my bottle and swear in their face to make it stop.

So what's the protocol? You'll probably never see the person/people again so do you tell it like it is, or try to be polite or like me just put up with it depending on the flight duration? Or maybe call the cabin crew to do your dirty work for you? Is it limited to Y class? I've never experienced it when flying J but that might be due to alcohol induced ignorance!


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[Awesom Andy]

While I'm not too sure what can be done, retaliating would bring you down to their level, and then they'll beat you with experience.

 

[freepyjamas]

Unfortunately it's just part of flying. There are some people with highly annoying habits, and if you fly enough chances are you'll score one of them from time to time.

My personal favorites are the teeth-suckers. Got stuck next to one bloke in Y for 10 hours who constantly sucked his teeth really loudly. Probably didn't even know he was doing it. Another time, a bloke got on with a pomegranate and spent the best part of 3 hours spitting seeds into the sick-bag. Then there's the bloke who'll watch 14 episodes of Two and a half Men and piss himself laughing loudly and continually. This bloke is usually half-cut, and when he eventually goes to sleep, you know he'll be a snorer.

Makes the flight pretty ordinary, but not much you can do really.

 

[richie9x]

Why do you feel the need to do anything? Just ignore it, no need to let it bother you. The meal service should be over quickly.

There are no absolutes as far as manners go. They differ between cultures and generations. What this other passenger is doing may seem perfectly normal to them.

An airplane cabin is a noisy place and you are forced into close proximity with people you might not normally want to be near. I would consider it polite for you to be tolerant of those around you. That is not to say there will be more serious issues where you have to confront another passenger or raise it with an FA. But on the whole best to just ignore them.

 

[ckck]

Was it a cultural difference? In the past I was working with some people (I won't say which culture) who would eat very loudly. It grossed me out, however, it was just part of their culture. They all just eat like that. Some of these people were even born, brought up and schooled in Australia but they generally only hung out with people of their own culture so in their minds they thought nothing of it.

It crossed my mind to make "oink" sounds like a pig while they were eating then I thought better not ref: Awesome Andy's post above. No point to drop to their level.

 

[Per_Travels]

Isn't this why noise cancelling headphones were invented?

 

[smit0847]

There's not much you can do about it. It's eating, it's not like he was letting off an air-horn at regular intervals.

I purposely dont watch any episodes of Modern Family on planes because I know I will laugh so loud that it will annoy other people.

I was at the theatre last year watching a live performance and two women behind me would not stop talking throughout the entire performance. Given I had paid $145 for my ticket I turned around and told them to shut up. The stunned look on their face was priceless.

 

[midcoast1]

Unfortunately it's just part of flying. There are some people with highly annoying habits, and if you fly enough chances are you'll score one of them from time to time.

My personal favorites are the teeth-suckers. Got stuck next to one bloke in Y for 10 hours who constantly sucked his teeth really loudly. Probably didn't even know he was doing it. Another time, a bloke got on with a pomegranate and spent the best part of 3 hours spitting seeds into the sick-bag. Then there's the bloke who'll watch 14 episodes of Two and a half Men and piss himself laughing loudly and continually. This bloke is usually half-cut, and when he eventually goes to sleep, you know he'll be a snorer.

Makes the flight pretty ordinary, but not much you can do really.

I'll allow him to watch and laugh at Two And A Half Men . Funny show .

 

[bigjobs]

recently on a DJ flight I had placed my briefcase in the locker above my seat. a guy came along, one of the last to get on, and started to move the bags to a completely different locker (as is remove them to make room for his bag, a roller bag). when he got to mine I mentioned that he should not be moving that or touching my bag. he instantly started up and I suggested that he leave everyone else's property alone and get on earlier in future. I then suggested that he find a space elsewhere that was not above his row (we were in row 5). by now the FA in on the 'scene' and he is saying to her that I seem to think it's my right to have my bag above me. She let this guy know that he would need to locate his bag somewhere else.

you've got to call people on this sort of stuff.

 

[Muzfly]

I usually ask them on disembarkation if they've had to work hard at being a complete prat or is it a skill that comes naturally. I say it quietly as I walk pass so that they are usually the only one who hears it....

 

[HarryB]

you've got to call people on this sort of stuff.

Yeah, part of me agrees with that and part agrees with what a couple of others have said about ignoring it.

In this instance it wasn't a cultural issue, the bloke was an Australian. And because it was extreme it was a lot harder to ignore.

Not stooping to their level is a fair call, but you could just as easily suggest people like this don't show the same respect they receive.




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[significance]

I have an acquaintance who who eats with his mouth open while talking. I haven't called him on it, but like everyone else at the place we both volunteer, I avoid being in the lunchroom with him. Must get lonely. He's in his 80s, so in his case, I have to wonder whether it is dementia, but regardless, if he has reached his present age, he must have encountered someone who has said something, so he is either unable to control it or doesn't care. I'd say this applies to anyone over 20 for this sort of thing.

 

[drron]

Unfortunately it's just part of flying. There are some people with highly annoying habits, and if you fly enough chances are you'll score one of them from time to time.
Then there's the bloke who'll watch 14 episodes of Two and a half Men and piss himself laughing loudly and continually. This bloke is usually half-cut, and when he eventually goes to sleep, you know he'll be a snorer.

Makes the flight pretty ordinary, but not much you can do really.

So you have been in my cabin before.Of course now it is the Big Bang Theory.

 

[Bali Belly]

iam polite i try not to drink a great deal but i know i snore occasionallybut overall i do use my noise cancelling headphones and apologiseto all around if i do pop of to sleep

 

[JohnM]

I was in QF F (1A) SYD-LAX and had a guy in 5A who was whistling with a very high pitch early in the flight.

After a while, after pretty much confirming who was doing it (little bit hard looking around in F without being obvious), I went and asked him as politely as possible if he was whistling as I was finding the high pitch of a person whistling annoying. He denied it and responded slightly sharply but a little while later came and apologised - he simply didn't realise he had been doing it!

All was sweet and quiet after that.

It would be harder to politely ask a loud chomper to eat more quietly, though...

 

[MEL_Traveller]

.The first thought was that maybe he had a physical issue that meant he couldn't eat with the manners his mother taught him but there was nothing noticeable as it would almost certainly have hindered him when he spoke and as he hardly shut up the rest of the flight we were confident it wasn't anything other than cough manners.

the pax could have ADHD or some other disability/condition which is not obvious in a physical sense.

 

[JohnK]

I try to avoid anyone with disgusting chewing habits, not just eating, and the other is worse as it is for long periods of time. Not much you can do about it though unless you prefer a confrontation.

Some notable cases

- A guy who used to work in my office loved to eat at his desk and because he was at lunch thought it was appropriate to conduct conversations with those around him with his mouth full. Extremely annoying.
- Lady at work grazes on apples, celery, carrots, shells peanuts at her desk which is right next to mine. This goes on for around 2 hours. Why do people choose to eat the foods that make the loudest noise? Go and eat in the lunch room. Luckily she is moving desks.
- I used to visit a good friend (unfortunately dead now) regularly at dinner time and his family would sit and eat together. They all made disgusting noises while eating and would also burp loudly as much as possible. Not fun sitting listening to all of this
- And the one that gets me the most is the chronic gum chewers who chew viciously and think they look cool. It is not a good look. Do they realise they are doing it?

Anyway it is not easy to avoid these sort of people randomly in public but one can certainly choose who to hang around with and I wherever possible try and avoid spending any time with people with the above habits. I will move if it is happening around me.

 

[Jeffrey O'Neill]

there's the good ol' Oscar Wilde quote - "It's nice to be important, but it's important to be nice"

I've worked with people who would slurp down their lunch meals. It was a cultural thing. The jar of death they usually had of some pickled or preserved substance was the real killer. I'd generally schedule my lunch break to avoid them.

At least a meal service is over and done with fairly quickly.

More annoying is the person who books on AirAsia and on finding the seats to be too narrow decides that they are entitled to as much of their neighbour's space as they feel they require. 8 hours of that is not fun.

 

[yankinoz]

I recently had a guy in front of me fully recline his seat after he had finished his meal on a flight from SYD to LAX. I had also finished my meal but sat in disbelief as his seat came crashing down on my tray! As suggested in this thread, I politely asked him to put his tray up. His response was "oh you are still eating?" He did put his seat back up and was actually apologetic and we had no further problems. It was apparent that this was his first time on a plane.

I dont know how this could be accomplished but maybe a bit of flight etiquitte education could be introduced by the airlines as my experience has been that many individuals with NIL or little flight experience just dont know how to behave on a plane...

 

[freepyjamas]

people who recline during meal service should be beaten with a truncheon. really, they should.

and anyone (without a medical certificate) who reclines in Y on Mel-Syd during the day, should also be beaten.

I understand that any airline I ran would probably gain a certain reputation amongst travellers. But if you did the right thing, you'd have nothing to worry about.

(using other people's headrests as some kind of handhold while walking to the toilets at nighttime, would result in instant ejection from the aircraft. the contents of your luggage would be auctioned on Ebay, and the proceeds would be divided amongst all those you woke up)