Help for a Misanthrope - QF Long Haul Business Class - What to expect

[TonyHancock]

18th October 2019 - yes that is the last time I flew long haul business class with Qantas. Against my better judgement I have been persuaded to fly to The Colonies on Qantas later this month. So what can I expect? I presume I will need something called wifi just after take off to work out what is actually on the menu - assuming Fred Perry is still peddling his slop with fancy names. Are the stewards/stewardesses able to translate the menu? (I will pack corned beef sandwiches to be prepared.)

Obviously I want to minimise my contact with, well........pretty much everyone. I assume one still cannot get a Dry Martini so will have to dust off my martini kit. Presumably Qantas still doesn't have Coates Plymouth Gin - Navy Strength?

Does priority boarding work these days or is it still a free for all?

Is sleep-ware provided.....and slippers? (Or will I need my smoking jacket and my Barbour Suede Tartan-Trim Monty Slippers?)

Will the crew know who I am?

So little to look forward to!!

edit - The Colonies being the 13 colonies...although in this case the first part of the journey terminates approximately 440 miles south of Drakes Bay. (NB no apostrophe - appalling grammar by George Davidson)

 

[drron]

My dear sir we in the colonies have only flown Singapore airlines and BA in first class but did once fly business class on BA from Sydney to Singapore on their 787 with the new business class suites and they were excellent.
We are flying the route in business class later this year. We are taking a chance on an unknown to us airline from Qatar. Flying something called a Q suite whatever that means. Unfortunately I believe lots of colonials fly with them now but less than on that Qantas airline which for some reason lots of them like.
All the best of British luck to you my good sir.

 

[TonyHancock]

My dear sir we in the colonies have only flown Singapore airlines and BA in first class but did once fly business class on BA from Sydney to Singapore on their 787 with the new business class suites and they were excellent.
We are flying the route in business class later this year. We are taking a chance on an unknown to us airline from Qatar. Flying something called a Q suite whatever that means. Unfortunately I believe lots of colonials fly with them now but less than on that Qantas airline which for some reason lots of them like.
All the best of British luck to you my good sir.

I am very much a Qatar Airways convert and our return from the colonies will be all Qatar in the rather fandabidozi Q suites. The only downside being the presence of 'er indoors next to me.

 

[Captain Halliday]

Always hard to tell if you’re being tongue-in-cheek or not @TonyHancock so will do my best to put this in terms you’ll understand.

So what can I expect?

BA Euro business with slightly wider seats.

On boarding you’ll be subjected to the sounds of a choir of young people dressed in white gowns trying to stir your emotions with a quasi-anthem that’s been around longer than Fred’s leaves.

Are the stewards/stewardesses able to translate the menu?

Not if you call them stewards or stewardesses.

If you don’t understand the menu, stick to the leaves and ask for a side of either chicken or beef.

Presumably Qantas still doesn't have Coates Plymouth Gin - Navy Strength?

No.

But David Boon’s record of 52 cans of beer LHR-SYD has stood since 1989.

It’s about time someone gave it a crack.

Does priority boarding work these days or is it still a free for all?

It’s a free for all. And free, for all.

Is sleep-ware provided.....and slippers?

Yes and no.

The socks in the amenity kit are no match for any liquid that ends up on the floor of the lavs.

Will the crew know who I am?

Yep. They’ll have an iPad with a complete profile of you.

But if you want ensure recognition, wear the Bintang singlet.

 

[TonyHancock]

Always hard to tell if you’re being tongue-in-cheek or not @TonyHancock so will do my best to put this in terms you’ll understand.

Always assume the former!

 

[ols]

I am very much a Qatar Airways convert and our return from the colonies will be all Qatar in the rather fandabidozi Q suites. The only downside being the presence of 'er indoors next to me.

Window seats for both of you.

 

[TonyHancock]

Window seats for both of you.

Alas, I can only dream of that. 'er indoors has already decided she intends to inflict the full Qatar Q Suite "flying together" experience upon me.

 

[drron]

Unlike you good Lord and your Lady I have us flying in to Manchester so we don’t have the option of a real flying together experience.