How do you cope with emergencies at home when travelling?

[Sprucegoose]

You didn't speak to your wife for three months? Interesting relationship you have.,

I spend about 80% of the year away from home and I phone my fiancé every single day. Only for 15 minutes or so.

never try to understand another's relationship until you walk a few miles in their shoes......

 

[Mardi]

My mother had a massive stroke in 2004 which disabled her mentally and physically and she has lived in a nursing home ever since. A couple of years ago her doctor told us she would not last too much longer - she was talking months. Mum is still going but every time we leave the country I tell Mum the date we'll be back, in the hope that by some miracle she'll hold on until we get back if the end is approaching. I have warned my brother and other family that we will not cut short our holiday (usually only two weeks) if she dies but I'm not sure if I could do that if it actually happened.

Last year my father and stepmother went away for five weeks and we went away for two, with the two periods overlapping and our holiday being after theirs. My sister, who had been suffering from cancer for ten years, had been told early in the year that this time there was no point in pursuing further treatment and that she only had months to live. She died five days after we returned from our holiday. I like to think that she held on until all her family were back in the country.

Drifting even further off topic, my father said that after my grandmother died he went away for a few weeks and when he came back his father said "I'm glad you're back, now I can die". And he died a couple of days later of a heart attack, despite being essentially healthy albeit in his 70s.

 

[Boogs]

Thanks people. Some interesting stories which do put our 'emergency' into some scale. All is now good in the chateau Boogs with the 3 littles Boogs acting as if nothing happened!! It's so funny how kids bounce back. Now if only us oldies could do that too!

now how to bring up the need to get to PER again by the end of the month!!

 

[crm911]

You didn't speak to your wife for three months? Interesting relationship you have.

It was in 2000 and I was doing a 3-month training course in the US, so I am trying to stretch my memory. I might have emailed or texted her, as I rarely call Australia from overseas. Not to save money, but often the time zones aren't convenient and she was teaching. But I have never been in a "family emergency" situation while out of town. We have a good support system, e.g. family and friends nearby. BTW, she's away in Adelaide this weekend and I haven't called her.

 

[Boogs]

Wow this old thread just 're-appeared' through the weekly AFF email...

Quick update (if somewhat belated).

All is now good on the Boogs ranch - work have supplied details of an emergency nanny if we ever need it again as we have very little in terms of a support network close by.
Which was bloody decent of them!

I really appreciated some of the suggestions - especially having a Plan A, Plan B etc..

 

[Pushka]

My partner has always travelled and really you just have to cope. Not point in hating the person putting food on the table. Thinking about it I've had numerous things happened when husband was away.

Like, MIL being diagnosed with terminal cancer and having surgery (he was in Russia for 4 weeks) house broken into, dog having to be put down, son developed meningitis during the night requiring emergency room visit, and so on. And then there's the smaller stuff like things breaking down. Just never entered my head to hate him.

 

[rocketaus]

Yes, just spotted it in the email. Good to hear all are well.

I travel extensively for work and every time I go away wife and/or kids (11, 9 & 5y/o) get sick - EVERY TIME! I am so thankful my amazing wife just seems to get through and cope, I consider myself very lucky.

A few years ago I was somewhere in Germany half way through an around the world trip with meeting to follow in US and Asia on way home. During this trip Our youngest walked for the first time, I missed the middle child's first day of school and the eldests birthday and on top of this my wife was hospitalised with severe food poisoning and my in-laws house was under threat from a bushfire - all occurring over a 48hr period. Needless to say everyone survived with the help of extended family and friends, but I will never forget that trip.

 

[Mgjdubs]

As a rule, in our family, we don't inform each other of emergency situations UNLESS our returning is the only way that situation can be resolved, OR a family member does not have long to live, or has passed away. My mother travels forty weeks out of the year and is rarely in the same city for more than a week at a time, although she isn't the only one out of our clan to have a demanding travel schedule written into her job description, as I'm sure you're all able to identify. For us to ask Mother to return home from a business trip puts many, many people out all over the world, ignoring the disaster that her schedule would become to try and make up for an unscheduled absence. All of this particularly unnecessary where she cannot resolve the situation, or where they can deal with it themselves. Being that we are in Australia and pretty much all of our family are either in Europe or New Zealand, it would be impossible, in terms of cost and in terms of sustaining jobs and study patterns, etc., for us to return to AKL or head to MUC/CPH/LHR whenever another person in the family became sick.

Everyone is different. Their circumstances are different. Their threshold and definition of an emergency is different. I'm really glad that the OP made the right decision for him and his family, and wish him all the best with letting his wife know that he needs to go PER again

 

[JohnCarrWestwood]

Just got the call to say my wife and kids are very sick with a tummy bug. They in BNE, me in PER:evil:

Mrs Boogs said she hates me and I should never go away again. Pretty tough stuff to hear when you're a WP!!! But never the less, family is more important than a job or a status :shock:

I was just interested to see how the AFF'er cope! Any advice?

sat here in the PER QP, waiting for the redeye in whY!

my god I forgot how bad QP fare was! Wish there was a J lounge

Boogs

FIRST : always have skype or similar available

SECOND : What are Doctors or Emergency nurses on call for ?

THIRD; What practical use are you going to be when you get there?

Fourth: Its a price you pay for your occupation and standard of living.

FIFTH. How are you going to feel if its all blown over by the time you get there?

Personal experience:

Back inthe 70's in NZ , I rec'd Telegram." Your dads very sick and in Hospital". 24 hours later before I could get a ticket back to UK another telegram " he has died ". Conceiveably I could have been 40000 ft in the air over singapore and never got the second. As it turned out I was able to make a reasoned decision when I had more facts. Rushing off cos some one is sick (tummy bug) doesnt seem to me to be helpful at either end or rational .

 

[Roberto]

My two cents worth. The airlines could have a little more compassion when emergencies happen. My wife had a Red-e-Deal to visit her mother in Perth. Two weeks before she was due to fly she received a phone call that her mother was dying. Qantas required a medical certificate from her doctor to change the fare and the so called "compassionate" fare was a full Y class fare. Such compassion!

So if you have an emergency - don't expect help from the airlines. Rely on travel insurance and expect to pay top dollar because the airlines just don't care!

 

[LAH]

you did exactly the right thing going home. of course she hates you at the moment - I hate everyone if I have all the symptoms that go along with a tummy bug. But, as a single mum, I have had the experience where kids and me with moderate food poisoning - could barely move, but still had to look after the kids as well - an extremely difficult experience, so I can sympathise with your partner wanting your home. Roles reversed and you would want her home.

sometimes it is just sharing over the phone in certain situations. when I travel for work my kids often want to share problems at home with me as well as other things - like, more money please mum!

i had an emergency several years ago - earth summit on in Mexico and no flights at all. Ended up paying premium fares to get home. the emergency? live in temporary sitter on very good salary took another job and gave me several days notice - no family to fall back on so I had to do what I had to do - very frustrating.

 

[Pushka]

I had amazing service from Qantas when my mother in law had 24 hours to live and her daughter was stuck on Perth in 1989 during the great domestic Pilots strike. I had to get a doctors certificate verifying her grave condition and then Qantas flew her International service to get her to Adelaide. Cost meant nothing. She made it on time but her mother died just an hour afterwards.

 

[Must...Fly!]

My two cents worth. The airlines could have a little more compassion when emergencies happen. My wife had a Red-e-Deal to visit her mother in Perth. Two weeks before she was due to fly she received a phone call that her mother was dying. Qantas required a medical certificate from her doctor to change the fare and the so called "compassionate" fare was a full Y class fare. Such compassion!

So if you have an emergency - don't expect help from the airlines. Rely on travel insurance and expect to pay top dollar because the airlines just don't care!

But you must understand that if they grant such requests without proof, many wanting to change a flight suddenly have a family member that is dying...

 

[LAH]

FIRST : always have skype or similar availableRushing off cos some one is sick (tummy bug) doesnt seem to me to be helpful at either end or rational .

I think it depends if you are overseas or in your home country, the ages of kids etc etc : depends on the situation. A tummy bug isn't necessarily as benign and easy to cope with as it sounds when it hits the whole family.

 

[simongr]

I think it depends if you are overseas or in your home country, the ages of kids etc etc : depends on the situation. A tummy bug isn't necessarily as benign and easy to cope with as it sounds when it hits the whole family.

I agree - if my wife has such a severe tummy bug that she is lying in and constantly puking - who is going to feed my four year old son, get him to day care, bathe him - much easier say with a 12 year old who can look after themselves and potentially look after their mother.

 

[Shelf]

I recently had a cold/gastro while the wife was in EU.

Looking after the kids (7 & 4) wasnt much fun.

Thankfully I was able to organise some child minding.

 

[LAH]

you are right : not much fun at all! Hope you are feeling better now.

the problem for many is getting someone to help and when the whole family has the same symptoms, even more difficult. Kids are hard enough to look after when they are sick, much harder if you are on your own and sick as well.

Someone mentioned earlier about nurse/doctor care. It is hard enough to get in home nursing even with planning it, much less not having it planned. I was in that situation and prepared to pay whatever an agency charged, but there was no availability of staff. There really is an opening here for this type of emergency assistance .... and could perhaps be something to build into travel insurance at a cost .... of course! I would buy it~! That is : travel insurance to provide help to affected family on presentation of doctors certificate, of course!

 

[legroom]

My two cents worth. The airlines could have a little more compassion when emergencies happen. My wife had a Red-e-Deal to visit her mother in Perth. Two weeks before she was due to fly she received a phone call that her mother was dying. Qantas required a medical certificate from her doctor to change the fare and the so called "compassionate" fare was a full Y class fare. Such compassion!

So if you have an emergency - don't expect help from the airlines. Rely on travel insurance and expect to pay top dollar because the airlines just don't care!

Others had a much more favourable experience - even when they were not QFF members.

So I am not rushing in to "dismiss" the airlines as there may be more to the story.

 

[Deborah66]

Dear Friends,
It is not the same as being there in person, but why not try My Personal Concierge, to give your wife some practical support when you are not there. ... - any kind of help to ease the burden of our busy traveling lives.

 

[LAH]

Dear Friends,
It is not the same as being there in person, but why not try My Personal Concierge, to give your wife some practical support when you are not there. ... - any kind of help to ease the burden of our busy traveling lives.

Thank you so much : just went to their website. This looks like just what I need!~