How do you cope with emergencies at home when travelling?

[Hvr]

Dear Friends,
to give your wife some practical support when you are not there.

You do realise that many travellers here are women who may have a husband at home? Or many other permutations of significant others?

 

[LAH]

You do realise that many travellers here are women who may have a husband at home? Or many other permutations of significant others?

You are so right. I responded and thanked the poster - I am a woman. I just took the suggestion in the spirit that it was offered - but you are so right and all partners left at home may need some support at some time. So, this personal concierge sounds like a good idea for those that can afford it - and maybe there are times when it is really needed.

 

[Temporiser]

Just got the call to say my wife and kids are very sick with a tummy bug. They in BNE, me in PER:evil:

Mrs Boogs said she hates me and I should never go away again. Pretty tough stuff to hear when you're a WP!!! But never the less, family is more important than a job or a status :shock:

I was just interested to see how the AFF'er cope! Any advice?

sat here in the PER QP, waiting for the redeye in whY!

my god I forgot how bad QP fare was! Wish there was a J lounge

Boogs

I'm currently overseas and wife has just texted me to say that my youngest is giving her a hard time (apparently this only happens when I'm away) and she wants me to come home immediately. I said I'll be home in three days time which is when I'll sort it, in the mean time I called him and said "pull your head in". He then complained to my wife about her texting me. She texted me back and said don't bother coming back at all. I only hope she is not serious about it.

 

[LAH]

I'm currently overseas and wife has just texted me to say that my youngest is giving her a hard time (apparently this only happens when I'm away) and she wants me to come home immediately. I said I'll be home in three days time which is when I'll sort it, in the mean time I called him and said "pull your head in". He then complained to my wife about her texting me. She texted me back and said don't bother coming back at all. I only hope she is not serious about it.

You might have to take a short break and do some serious shopping!!!

 

[kiwitripper64]

There is a lot of perspective in "emergency". I was in Germany with my wife, and just about to have few days holiday after work there when we heard our 6yr old had broken her arm. The grandparents had everything under control, and I wanted to stay on, but the wife was adamamant that this was an emergency and we changed flights to get home. It did hit us how far away we were, as we had to get back to the hotel in Berlin for passport and luggage, then to Frankfurt and on to home, but we had no chance of making the flight that day, unless we had bought a taxi. So we arrived home a few days later and found the daughter fine. But S/O wdid not relax till we got home.

 

[Flashback]

My wife fell rather ill (serious hospitalisation) which I only discovered later in the day as I'd not heard from her since the day before (which seemed odd, so I asked one of her friends to check in on her - who then found out what had happened earlier that morning), when I was in the middle of nowhere several thousand miles away. I was lucky in that the client I was working with basically said no if's or but's, you're getting on the next charter and then next flight home. There's only 2-3 flights a week and luckily one of those was the next day. It was the longest 24 hours of travel I ever had to do, but it was worth it in the end especially for her to wake up and see me there.

 

[Pushka]

One of the saddest stories I know was a family whom I knew through school. Their son was 17, at school, fit, healthy. He and his sisters were staying with capable grandparents while parents were overseas. He played footy for school on the Saturday and was bog. Then attended an 18th on the Sat night. (My best friends sons party). He had a sleepover at their house then went home the next day. He felt a little unwell and had an early night to bed on Sunday. Around midnight the grandparents heard a bump. They checked on him and he was unconscious on the floor. Rushed to hospital he was diagnosed with meningococcal and put on life support. His parents flew home but were over 12 hours away. An agonising flight. All the while Facebook was going rampant with condolence messages. He never regained consciousness and life support was taken off after his patents arrived home. This happened perhaps five years ago almost to the day and it still sends me chills.

Sorry, but a broken arm is not an emergency I would expect my partner to have to dash home to.

 

[simongr]

One of the reliefs about having not had int'l travel this past year and losing our dog a little while ago was that I was never that far away if I had to fly back (and I did have to fly back to have her put down recently). At least now my wife wont have to deal with that by herself if my int'l travel picks up...

 

[Simo]

One of the saddest stories I know was a family whom I knew through school. Their son was 17, at school, fit, healthy. He and his sisters were staying with capable grandparents while parents were overseas. He played footy for school on the Saturday and was bog. Then attended an 18th on the Sat night. (My best friends sons party). He had a sleepover at their house then went home the next day. He felt a little unwell and had an early night to bed on Sunday. Around midnight the grandparents heard a bump. They checked on him and he was unconscious on the floor. Rushed to hospital he was diagnosed with meningococcal and put on life support. His parents flew home but were over 12 hours away. An agonising flight. All the while Facebook was going rampant with condolence messages. He never regained consciousness and life support was taken off after his patents arrived home. This happened perhaps five years ago almost to the day and it still sends me chills.

Sorry, but a broken arm is not an emergency I would expect my partner to have to dash home to.

That gives me a shiver.

 

[Pushka]

That gives me a shiver.

Adelaide teenager Jack Klemich dies of meningococcal disease | adelaidenow

http://www.meningitis.com.au/newsitem.phtml?NewsID=133

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xBQwfBbj2L8

 

[ajennings]

Difficult situation. Seems like you need to sort that issue out first though.

 

[legroom]

One of the saddest stories I know was a family whom I knew through school. Their son was 17, at school, fit, healthy. He and his sisters were staying with capable grandparents while parents were overseas. He played footy for school on the Saturday and was bog. Then attended an 18th on the Sat night. (My best friends sons party). He had a sleepover at their house then went home the next day. He felt a little unwell and had an early night to bed on Sunday. Around midnight the grandparents heard a bump. They checked on him and he was unconscious on the floor. Rushed to hospital he was diagnosed with meningococcal and put on life support. His parents flew home but were over 12 hours away. An agonising flight. All the while Facebook was going rampant with condolence messages. He never regained consciousness and life support was taken off after his patents arrived home. This happened perhaps five years ago almost to the day and it still sends me chills.

Sorry, but a broken arm is not an emergency I would expect my partner to have to dash home to.

Perhaps not when one of you were travelling for work, but when both were away on holiday (as mentioned earlier), the love / care for your injured ones - despite the grandparents' care - may make you (at least me) think twice about continuing on.

Sure, your presence may not make a practical difference, but it shows that you care, esp when your child is a 6-year-old.

True, broken arm is not an emergency per se and I can also understand your point of view.

 

[Katie]

As the one in our family who has travelled the most alone, leaving Mr Katie home with Little Miss, I'm lucky that I've not had to rush home. Especially as most of my trip are to the US!! There was a little worry on my first trip, when Little Miss was 1, and I was away for 2 weeks. She attended an event with her Dad, fell off a chair, and bumped her head on the concrete floor. I found out that evening Aus time from Mr Katie, who started crying while telling me. As all travelling family members would understand, there is little else that can make you feel so helpless!
I spent that day touristing in Colorado with my manager, and waiting for my phone to ring in case Little Miss had a serious injury develop afterwards. I also knew that once we hit a certain point, I would miss connecting flights to LAX, and any chance of returning to Aus would be the next day.

We haven't established any rules about what constitutes an emergency/worth travelling home for; it's probably a good idea. We are also very lucky that basically all family, including all three sets of grandparents, are in Brisbane and are awesome.

 

[DrA]

I think for me it depends on the nature of the emergency.

I don't have kids, but I have family with health problems. I live in Perth, my parents live in the middle of nowhere in North Queensland. Between flying and driving, it takes me the better part of a day to get there even if I'm at home in Perth, let alone travelling overseas. But it's reached the point where there's almost always some kind of medical issue that one of my parents would count as an emergency. I can't fly home every week, or even every month. I have a job, I have my own life. I've basically said I would fly back (outside of scheduled trips) if it was literally a matter of life or death, but sometimes you just have to draw the line. They don't necessarily like my philosophy on this, they think I should drop everything every time, but that's impractical and unrealistic.

I make an attempt to check my phone and email at least twice a day when I'm travelling, because I know there's issues. They know how to contact me if there's a genuine reason for me to fly home on no notice.

 

[Nanday]

Let them cope, absolutely. After all, work is really important. When you die, they put things like "He worked overtime for 30 years" on your tombstone.

Yes, I'm being sarcastic. Think about it guys, (as most of you are). You're heading for the divorce court if you don't put family higher on your list of priorities, which is where my ex ended up after leaving me alone when I was pregnant and feeling unwell and begged him to cancel his overseas trip just that once. I miscarried 12 hours after he flew to LA for his important meeting and had to find a neighbour to watch my 4 year old while another dropped me off at a hospital.

If you must be a workaholic, then at least line up some support for when you are away - neighbours, family, work colleagues who can check on your sick family and help out if needed. And volunteer to be their backup when they are away. I've cared for young, sick children while sick myself and while it wasn't terminal for me, it was for the marriage to a man who put work first on every occasion.

 

[Flashback]

Let them cope, absolutely. After all, work is really important. When you die, they put things like "He worked overtime for 30 years" on your tombstone.

Yes, I'm being sarcastic. Think about it guys, (as most of you are). You're heading for the divorce court if you don't put family higher on your list of priorities, which is where my ex ended up after leaving me alone when I was pregnant and feeling unwell and begged him to cancel his overseas trip just that once. I miscarried 12 hours after he flew to LA for his important meeting and had to find a neighbour to watch my 4 year old while another dropped me off at a hospital.

If you must be a workaholic, then at least line up some support for when you are away - neighbours, family, work colleagues who can check on your sick family and help out if needed. And volunteer to be their backup when they are away. I've cared for young, sick children while sick myself and while it wasn't terminal for me, it was for the marriage to a man who put work first on every occasion.

I'm sorry to hear about the miscarriage, it's a tough time and hard when your (better?) half isn't there to be with you. That being said, I do think you are being a little harsh - everyone is different. Sometimes it's not that easy to just drop work and there's various reasons as to why. Just consider this, if your ex wasn't putting the hours into work that he was, would you still have enjoyed the same life? Maybe he could have been flipping burgers instead - would you still have the same viewpoint?

 

[Pushka]

If you must be a workaholic, then at least line up some support for when you are away - neighbours, family, work colleagues who can check on your sick family and help out if needed. And volunteer to be their backup when they are away. I've cared for young, sick children while sick myself and while it wasn't terminal for me, it was for the marriage to a man who put work first on every occasion.

Well. I am not a guy. I'm the wife of a guy who travels a lot. Always has done from when we first met. Just because his job involves a lot of travel does not make him a workaholic. He just has to travel due to his type of business. Been married for 35 years and no divorce in sight. Yes things have gone pear shaped while he was away but you cope. I'm sorry to hear of your loss but he had no chance of knowing what the outcome might be. I don't think it's fair to put the guilt trip on a person, male or female, who has to travel for work.

 

[OATEK]

I think for me it depends on the nature of the emergency.

In 40 years of marriage (showing my age) there have been many emergencies, maladies and general angst while I have been away. When the kids were young we had in-laws close by, and Mrs OATEK worried more about losing me in a light plane crash than anything. I seemed to be on as many charters as commercial flights in those days, all over NSW - probably in the region of 25 trips in nothing bigger than an 11 seater most years between 1986-1990. But of course I was never too far away, although a quick trip home from Buronga was never easy (MQL-MEL-SYD).

In recent years with the parents ageing, we discussed with them what we would do if disaster struck them, and their view was that we should continue on if possible, just as they did many years before when disaster struck at home and they were in Europe.

Talking about it before flying off is far preferable to waiting to see if something happens. The biggest tragedy we had was being away with daughter and son in law when they lost a baby - we needed to stay on and help them, and everyone back here was very understanding and supportive, especially work.

We often forget how hard it is for people who are overseas for long periods. Soldiers in War miss seeing off parents, brothers, sisters, children - I think that most families should be able to cope with what is thrown up in times of relative peace and excellent communications.

 

[Pushka]

We often forget how hard it is for people who are overseas for long periods. Soldiers in War miss seeing off parents, brothers, sisters, children - I think that most families should be able to cope with what is thrown up in times of relative peace and excellent communications.

I was thinking about that issue too. My Dad was in the Navy and his parents didnt tell him of the death of his younger brother when he was at sea, until he got back to land. He missed the funeral, and didnt even know about it until quite a while later. Comms back in those days were obviously more difficult but they chose not to tell him anyway. I dont think he ever forgot that, he couldnt have got back for the funeral but it was the "not telling" that caused him the most angst. He missed the birth of my older brother, and when he reached land he was only given four days leave then back on the ship for months at a time until my brother was four.

I dont think this generation can even imagine what that was like, - no mobiles, skype, facebook - it was sheer separation. Maybe that was where I got my independence from - my mum, who coped with all this alone; and in (Korean) war time where Dad was located.

 

[SeatBackForward]

I dont think this generation can even imagine what that was like, - no mobiles, skype, facebook - it was sheer separation. Maybe that was where I got my independence from - my mum, who coped with all this alone; and in (Korean) war time where Dad was located.

Slightly OT, but the above should be noted for its singificance. We're more connected than ever these days, which has its positives and negatives. For some reason, the idea of not being able to contact your loved ones is always one of my greatest fears. But it casts my mind to a piece of non-fiction (true historical account) I've read called "The Mapmakers wife":

"The year is 1735. A decade-long expedition to South America is launched by a team of French scientists racing to measure the circumference of the earth and to reveal the mysteries of a little-known continent to a world hungry for discovery and knowledge. From this extraordinary journey arose an unlikely love between one scientist and a beautiful Peruvian noblewoman. Victims of a tangled web of international politics, Jean Godin and Isabel Gramesón’s destiny would ultimately unfold in the Amazon’s unforgiving jungles, and it would be Isabel’s quest to reunite with Jean after a calamitous twenty-year separation that would capture the imagination of all of eighteenth-century Europe. A remarkable testament to human endurance, female resourcefulness, and enduring love, Isabel Gramesón’s survival remains unprecedented in the annals of Amazon exploration."