How to guarantee that you get scanned and swabbed at the airport.

[jb747]

I saw what transpired, long ago, when exactly that happened. When I was in Customs about 1978 at Perth Airport, a transit pax (probably on his way to Melbourne) made a remark of that sort regarding a BA 747 - unfortunately for him within hearing of some ground staff. Within 30 minutes the pax and his baggage were in a pile outside the sliding doors of the Customs area with no ticket, no accommodation and a lost look on his grey face,

The explosives wipe down didn’t exist in ‘78. Wandering up and offering defeats the randomness of it... Which is why it’s silly. If it isn’t everyone, then it’s not worthwhile.

 

[OZDUCK]

The explosives wipe down didn’t exist in ‘78. Wandering up and offering defeats the randomness of it... Which is why it’s silly. If it isn’t everyone, then it’s not worthwhile.

He was offloaded for making a stupid remark about bombs after a delayed flight - very common on BA 747's in those days. I agree that offering up yourself to be tested defeats the purpose of a properly instituted random check system. Random checks however can be a very useful tool if done properly - and this must include evaluating the results of checks and adapting the process as necessary. I don't really believe that this is being done in this case.

 

[JessicaTam]

But a well trained swabber should? Might? ignore the proffered victim and go to the next person or two.

As an aside, I know the 'swab in groups' method gets panned, but I think it's not a bad way to catch anyone trying to avoid the swab. Obviously if there is a positive after a group swap, they test individually and then get the true positive.

I refuse to be swabbed as part of a group. I ask to be either swabbed first, or after the rest of the group have been swabbed and cleared. That way I "should" avoid having a contaminant introduced into my luggage.

 

[kamchatsky]

Simple ... Use the VA premium entry at T2 in SYD off peak.

I think I have been swabbed and scanned 75% of the time when I use the premium entry at SYD at peak hour, and I used that entry often. I am so used to it.

 

[zenyattamondatta]

That way I "should" avoid having a contaminant introduced into my luggage

What sort of thing do you have in mind there? Do you mean if the first person gets swabbed and is a positive, you might end up with something passed on to you?

I can at least understand why they do it from a probability perspective, there could be real time savings depending on just how many people test positive on average.

But I must admit I hadn't considered the possibility of cross-contamination.

 

[jb747]

But I must admit I hadn't considered the possibility of cross-contamination.

It’s unhygienic. I’m not keen on touching my own dirty laundry....much less someone else’s.

 

[zenyattamondatta]

It’s unhygienic. I’m not keen on touching my own dirty laundry....much less someone else’s.

Fair enough. I guess it's always looked like such a perfunctory swish to me, and then I'm basically sitting in a swirling swarm of other people's germs for the next several hours anyway.

 

[Moody]

Seeing as the testing process adds between 5 and 25 seconds to the security check, aren't we arguing about an irrelevancy?

 

[JessicaTam]

What sort of thing do you have in mind there? Do you mean if the first person gets swabbed and is a positive, you might end up with something passed on to you?

I can at least understand why they do it from a probability perspective, there could be real time savings depending on just how many people test positive on average.

But I must admit I hadn't considered the possibility of cross-contamination.

Yes, if the first person has some nefarious substance picked up by the swab it will be passed on to my luggage. This could then potentially be detected when I am tested next.

 

[Scott K]

I saw what transpired, long ago, when exactly that happened. When I was in Customs about 1978 at Perth Airport, a transit pax (probably on his way to Melbourne) made a remark of that sort regarding a BA 747 - unfortunately for him within hearing of some ground staff. Within 30 minutes the pax and his baggage were in a pile outside the sliding doors of the Customs area with no ticket, no accommodation and a lost look on his grey face,

That's why I call it a sub category of DYKWIA. The whole of idea of the joke relies on some nitwit believing that they don't look like someone that would be a terrorist or a bomber. A big and stupid assumption based on racial stereotyping.

 

[k_sheep]

Try being a young, not ugly female. Works >95% of the time.

Security theatre. Pah.

 

[Scott K]

Try being a young, not ugly female. Works >95% of the time.

Security theatre. Pah.

Not sure if I can try that personally, but i’ll Give it a go.

I went through screening at Melbourne airport with a young, very attractive Singaporean woman last year, and both of us were sharing stories about how we seem to always get swabbed. She is a writer and... well also has a thing for antique typewriters, and we both each one in our hands.

Who got swabbed? She did. But I got the pleasure of opening my baggage all I over the bench for inspection.

 

[Vic]

Walk right up to them, and throw your gear down.

Have a think about it. Offering yourself like that actually corrupts the system.

Have been told to get lost a few times when doing this... and also been swabbed a few times

At least some of the screeners understand how I'm undermining the system

 

[Ewing]

Walk right up to them, and throw your gear down.

I used to do this when flying out of CBR 3 times a week. The lady there would grab me every time, so I just started walking straight up to her and putting my bag down with a cheery "good morning!"

It eventually just became part of my routine and we'd have a bit of a chat while I was putting my stuff away.

 

[jb747]

I used to do this when flying out of CBR 3 times a week. The lady there would grab me every time, so I just started walking straight up to her and putting my bag down with a cheery "good morning!"

It eventually just became part of my routine and we'd have a bit of a chat while I was putting my stuff away.

Paying for her to have a chat to you, instead of actually doing her job....again shows that's just theatre.

 

[AviatorInsight]

How to guarantee to get swabbed?

Dress in a pilot uniform. The amount of times I’ve been swabbed, has now become my normal routine when going through airports. Gets even more annoying in MEL when I land into pier E in terminal 3 and need to make my way through security again to pier F.

There’s always a funny look as my bag is going through the scanner because of my Jeppesen manuals. Apparently the metal binder inside the folder is a bit suspicious to them.

 

[oz_mark]

In my case, fly VA. 100% hit rate.
On QF flights, more like 50:50.

 

[Scott K]

How to guarantee to get swabbed?

Dress in a pilot uniform. The amount of times I’ve been swabbed, has now become my normal routine when going through airports. Gets even more annoying in MEL when I land into pier E in terminal 3 and need to make my way through security again to pier F.

There’s always a funny look as my bag is going through the scanner because of my Jeppesen manuals. Apparently the metal binder inside the folder is a bit suspicious to them.

That’s really interesting. I guess the metal binder could be an improvised.. something... I can certainly see how annoying that can be.

 

[Scott K]

In my case, fly VA. 100% hit rate.
On QF flights, more like 50:50.

That’s impressively high!

 

[oz_mark]

That’s impressively high!

I'm at the points where I'm shocked when I don't get chosen!