How to guarantee that you get scanned and swabbed at the airport.

[harvyk]

Eye contact, works everytime.

As soon as eye contact is made I know I've won the grand prize of a free explosives swab.

 

[flying_duck]

Just tell the TSA you're carrying a parachute. Every. Single. Time.

That's the reason why I can't travel without lounge. 90% of the time security takes 30 minutes longer than most, sometimes it takes an hour longer than most. Have to be at airports super early, so the lounge makes up for 90% of the time it is only a slight delay.

 

[yld200]

I carry a black pelican case with some testing equipment used at petrol stations for customer demonstrations. The xray machine shows tubes and odd looking things, this coupled with my beard means I get swabbed 90% of the time.

 

[serfty]

Paying for her to have a chat to you, instead of actually doing her job....again shows that's just theatre.

Well there is that 10-20 seconds of 'dead' time between the sample being placed in machine and when the analysis completes.

 

[Happy Dude]

Yes, if the first person has some nefarious substance picked up by the swab it will be passed on to my luggage. This could then potentially be detected when I am tested next.

This is tinfoil hat stuff. They use a new swab patch for each pax. Pointless to do testing at all, group or otherwise, if they don't. I suppose they could re-use it if it tested negative on the pax in front. If it did test positive I suspect they'd not reuse it.

 

[Happy Dude]

Serious question:

If I was a bomb dude looking to do bomb stuff on an airplane, and I'd spent the preceding hours/days making a bomb, would it be difficult to arrive at the airport without residue on my shoes, zippers, and/or hand luggage?

 

[flying_duck]

Oh I know, I know! Have a VERY good time during a 24 hour stopover in Amsterdam, and wear the same clothes onto the plane.

 

[JessicaTam]

This is tinfoil hat stuff. They use a new swab patch for each pax. Pointless to do testing at all, group or otherwise, if they don't. I suppose they could re-use it if it tested negative on the pax in front. If it did test positive I suspect they'd not reuse it.

There is no need for the derogatory comment.

I take it you have not passed through MEL int security recently. Lining up 4-5 pax and working the swab through everyone's carry on luggage before testing is their modus operandi. Which if you read my original post you would have understood.

 

[Scott K]

Serious question:

If I was a bomb dude looking to do bomb stuff on an airplane, and I'd spent the preceding hours/days making a bomb, would it be difficult to arrive at the airport without residue on my shoes, zippers, and/or hand luggage?

They are all components you would have placed your hands on possibly immediately after handing the explosives. Harder, less pourus surfaces don’t absorb chemicals as readily as fabric. Nor does hair, making them great surfaces to get samples off.

Most people don’t wash their hands effectively enough to clear germs and fungus, so chemical transmission to these handled surfaces is surprisingly easy and hard to avoid. A few trips to the toilet and your hands may eventually get mostly clean or masked enough by other chemicals. But unless you are scrubbing your clothes after handling a device, you won’t get it clear. So without obvious measures it’s probably quite hard. Especially as you are likely to be handing the device consistently. Even locked in a suitcase and wrapped in clothing you are unlikely to avoid being in a position to avoid traces getting on you.

You are also likely to transport traces from the environment you have been in. Farmers or people that have come from farms using high nitrate fertiliser have often found themselves testing positive. Sometimes days after leaving their properties.

I reckon your chances of getting clear of the traces is extremely remote.

 

[Scott K]

Oh I know, I know! Have a VERY good time during a 24 hour stopover in Amsterdam, and wear the same clothes onto the plane.

That would make for a very interesting check in. But please. Don’t sit anywhere near me!

 

[flyingfan]

Fly frequently. Be in a hurry. Try to avoid eye contact. Bingo.

 

[Scott K]

Fly frequently. Be in a hurry. Try to avoid eye contact. Bingo.

The possibility of causing you to miss a flight seems to great a temptation.

 

[oz_mark]

This is tinfoil hat stuff. They use a new swab patch for each pax. Pointless to do testing at all, group or otherwise, if they don't. I suppose they could re-use it if it tested negative on the pax in front. If it did test positive I suspect they'd not reuse it.

Clearly you have never been subjected to one of the group tests. You would then know everyone is done by the one swab.

 

[Scott K]

Clearly you have never been subjected to one of the group tests. You would then know everyone is done by the one swab.

I've never personally been subjected to, been part of, or personally witnessed a group swab myself. (don't jump on me, I wasn't the one that made the tinfoil hat claim). While I can't debate that it does or does not happen - as there's clearly others that have seen it, I can't personally see the value in swabbing an entire group with the one swab. Unless they are intending to re-swab everyone if they get a positive.

 

[Justinf]

Be in a hurry. Like, literally in a hurry.
At OOL on Sunday, I arrived at security as my flight was in the final stages of boarding (my fault for being late) and was desperately in a hurry to make it through and onto the flight.

 

[Happy Dude]

There is no need for the derogatory comment.

I take it you have not passed through MEL int security recently. Lining up 4-5 pax and working the swab through everyone's carry on luggage before testing is their modus operandi. Which if you read my original post you would have understood.

Apologies if you've taken it as derogatory, not the intention. But I would suggest that the very practice of group testing with a communal swab, together with the knowledge that you've not handled explosives or are carrying a bag for someone who has, means you have nothing to fear, other than wasted time, in the event of a positive test.

I have passed through MEL INT twice in the last 12 months, and until today, had not been aware of group testing. I don't think I'd make a deal out of participating though.

 

[fairbasa]

I have no issue being swabbed, but what does tick me off is the swabber will stand there and watch me do up my bag at the end of the conveyor belt (has zips and tabs to lock). Then as soon as I'm done and begin to walk off, they'll call me over.

Can they not just ask me over before I've done up my bag???

 

[Popeye]

Sweat a lot

 

[Happy Trails]

So, to summarise:

• Dyed hair
• Curious carry-on / Pelican case
• Arabic appearance
• Artificial limbs
• Attractive females
• Dodgy-looking wives
• Scented women
• Pilots in uniform
• Next in line
• Eye contactors
• Self offer-uppers
• Sweat-a-lots
• And in my case, devilishly handsome, but otherwise nondescript male.

Seems a bit random to me.

 

[Scott K]

So, to summarise:

• Dyed hair
• Curious carry-on / Pelican case
• Arabic appearance
• Artificial limbs
• Attractive females
• Dodgy-looking wives
• Scented women
• Pilots in uniform
• Next in line
• Eye contactors
• Self offer-uppers
• Sweat-a-lots
• And in my case, devilishly handsome, but otherwise nondescript male.

Seems a bit random to me.

Yep. Seems pretty much the case. Not sure about devilishly handsome though....