Just when you thought you had seen it all in the Qantas lounge...

[Julesmac]

Some interesting thoughts expressed about the idea of manners vs regulation and even the suggestions of servitude and so on.

Complex issues in some ways which depend on one's own perspective - specially for those of differing cultural backgrounds to the "standard" Australian (ie: white or Western in the main) culture. and generally accepted norms. I can appreciate some differing views specially from the past that contribute to this and how some people might react to some efforts to be polite (eg the door holding example)

It's funny yet not funny that I was trying to talk to a friend recently about the idea of equality and the idea of (as an individual person) treating people fairly and the same no matter gender, race, religion, FF status, footy team (well maybe not Collingwood ) etc etc. I was told as a male this wasn't right and that I had to "do more" for certain minorities and women. I'm not exactly sure what that means when it comes to holding a door or being polite to someone in a shop, cafe .. or lounge, but I digress.

I feel very hesitant to comment further about the problems these days that SOME notion of manners/courtesy can bring - as described earlier - but I was thinking when I read one of the posts that sometimes showing some courtesy can result in a lashback. I've had it once or twice myself and while it can be quite a surprising experience.. I think it probably reflects more on the other person than myself. Most of the time with things like opening doors, I usually hear someone behind me and just hold a door or lift/elevator or whatever open on instinct without seeing who it is (not that it would change my action of course).

I do agree that things like dress codes are nothing to do with manners/courtesy. While an extreme example, I am glad we do not have such things as "Morality Police" in Australia, and in most modern societies. What one wears has nothing to do with how one chooses to act. I remember one time, many decades ago, in the bad part of a certain big US city I would up in a bikie bar full of some very tough and imposing folks. Yep, I was intimidated for sure. Turns out they were a bloody great bunch. We had a great time (specially when the barkeep saw my aussie passport for ID and they were all tickled pink). What start out as a possibly quite worrying evening became a very memorable time. moral: you shouldn't judge a book by its cover - even if it has mangoes.

I would say that manners is about showing respect to others, being aware and thoughtful towards others. Now sure, one could argue that someone who does not want a door held for them - that we should be aware of this - but I can't read minds (thank goodness!). For me it's being polite, treating others the way I would want to be treated and to be considerate of others (so not yelling into my phone, for example).

Luckily this morning in Woolies I did get a thanks and smile from a young lady that I offered to go first as we arrived at a queue point roughly together. Part old fashioned "ladies go first" I suppose (and I can understand why some might have an issue with that) but I am usually a person to defer, so I would motion to go forward if it was a male or female. I am glad I didn't get scolded though for that though.

I used to catch trams/trains when I worked in the city. If a man stood and offered me a seat I would always take it & say thank you - even if I was only going one or two stops; and I would add - I'm getting off shortly - but thank you. Please and thank you are just - or should be - automatic

 

[Julesmac]

My standard line is to say Sorry I thought you were a lady. No good comebacks to that line yet.

I was really peeved one day in the lift when we'd arrived at Ground and a bloke pushed me aside to get out first. I said - after you, you're most welcome. Guess it hit home because he told me very loudly to get f....'d... And as there were some of his workmates behind me I have to hope they saw his display of manners

 

[Ade]

Using the hand (instead of a ladle) to scoop up soup

That would have hurt ...

 

[knagelli]

That would have hurt ...

Who would even do that in a civilized world , that is disgusting to even think

 

[RichardMEL]

That would have hurt ...

I was thinking the same, then thought well if the soup was lukewarm..... (though to be fair always had hot or decently warm soup in QF lounges)

but yes agree, totally unhygenic and just weird.

I mean you can KIND of understand someone grabbing a piece of bread (it's not right, and I always use the tongs, but I can sort of understand that) but a hot soup? not normal behaviour.

Definitely have seen examples of poor food handling by some people in lounges just grabbing stuff (fortunately rare, but I have seen it) and I cringe and avoid whatever they touched - the tongs are there for a reason, people!! Unfortunately not everyone seems to understand this. Again, a small minority to be clear.

 

[Vic]

I was thinking the same, then thought well if the soup was lukewarm..... (though to be fair always had hot or decently warm soup in QF lounges)

but yes agree, totally unhygenic and just weird.

I mean you can KIND of understand someone grabbing a piece of bread (it's not right, and I always use the tongs, but I can sort of understand that) but a hot soup? not normal behaviour.

This obsession with tongs again...

I can very easily pick up and take some food items using my hand without touching any other food item on the serving plate. That is the whole point of an opposable thumb.

Absolutely, fail to see how only touching a single food item, that I take and eat, is unhygienic.

By the same token, tongs are often difficult for me to use because of a weak grip. This means I often end up rubbing my hand all over other food items as I struggle to use the tongs. Now this is more unhygienic to my mind, but hey I used the tongs...

 

[Tropic]

Saw a guy in lounge drop his ham and cheese toastie which fell on his boot then split open face down on carpet. He just scraped together, arranged into sandwich shape on plate and kept eating...lol. 5 sec rule...

 

[RichardMEL]

This obsession with tongs again...

I can very easily pick up and take some food items using my hand without touching any other food item on the serving plate. That is the whole point of an opposable thumb.

Absolutely, fail to see how only touching a single food item, that I take and eat, is unhygienic.

By the same token, tongs are often difficult for me to use because of a weak grip. This means I often end up rubbing my hand all over other food items as I struggle to use the tongs. Now this is more unhygienic to my mind, but hey I used the tongs...

I get your point of course. if some bread or something is sitting in such a way that you can pick it up by the edge and not touch anything else then I understand doing that

I guess it's the done thing and again in a public space with other people that isn't my home then I'd rather just do the "right" thing (and I promise you, I am so unco that tongs can cause no manner of strife at times. more than one dropped piece of salami or something along the journey!). I don't feel I have an obsession or anything, just that this is manners, and the best hygeine and it's a courtesy to others in the lounge.

your mileage varies and that's fine. If I saw someone pick up a cupcake or something that didn't touch anything else it wouldn't really worry me. What would worry me is something using their hand to pick up some slices of cheese or meat from the pile.

I think most other people would prefer that to be the case.

 

[mrsterryn]

Ok ....total bogan here.
Just curious about footwear, international lounges at Sydney
I love my crocs lol . They have traction etc
No issues in lounges ?

 

[flyingfan]

Saw a guy in lounge drop his ham and cheese toastie which fell on his boot then split open face down on carpet. He just scraped together, arranged into sandwich shape on plate and kept eating...lol. 5 sec rule...

I can almost understand if he paid $$ for it. But when you’re in a lounge…

 

[RichardMEL]

Ok ....total bogan here.
Just curious about footwear, international lounges at Sydney
I love my crocs lol . They have traction etc
No issues in lounges ?

no issues in international. crock on.

 

[RichardMEL]

To clarify, the dress code only applies to main domestic airport lounges. This is from the QF page:

These guidelines are intended to create an environment everyone can enjoy, so please be mindful of your choice of clothing and footwear when visiting Qantas Clubs and Business Lounges in Adelaide, Brisbane, Canberra, Melbourne, Perth and Sydney.

So everywhere else it doesn't apply.

interestingly they don't mention CL. So I could thong up in the CL I guess. lol

 

[Pushka]

Saw a guy in lounge drop his ham and cheese toastie which fell on his boot then split open face down on carpet. He just scraped together, arranged into sandwich shape on plate and kept eating...lol. 5 sec rule...

Oops. I didn't realise anyone was watching.

 

[mrsterryn]

no issues in international. crock on.

Thank you . So if you are in first and a fat old lady has haunted mansion Crocs as her foot attire .....ummm probable me.

 

[Pushka]

I get your point of course. if some bread or something is sitting in such a way that you can pick it up by the edge and not touch anything else then I understand doing that

I guess it's the done thing and again in a public space with other people that isn't my home then I'd rather just do the "right" thing (and I promise you, I am so unco that tongs can cause no manner of strife at times. more than one dropped piece of salami or something along the journey!). I don't feel I have an obsession or anything, just that this is manners, and the best hygeine and it's a courtesy to others in the lounge.

your mileage varies and that's fine. If I saw someone pick up a cupcake or something that didn't touch anything else it wouldn't really worry me. What would worry me is something using their hand to pick up some slices of cheese or meat from the pile.

I think most other people would prefer that to be the case.

Yesterday I went to a HESTA super fund presentation. Snack food on trays of spring rolls, pies and sausage rolls, arancini balls, communal dips. Not a tong to be seen! Maybe the super fund wants to offload us oldies off.

 

[RichardMEL]

Well I don't want to trigger poor Vic with the T word, but I just always saw/used them as part of buffet etiquette.

Again I'm not obsessed. Sure, if I was at the HESTA thing with a tray of spring rolls etc I'd dig in with the rest at the trough

 

[Vic]

I get your point of course. if some bread or something is sitting in such a way that you can pick it up by the edge and not touch anything else then I understand doing that

I guess it's the done thing and again in a public space with other people that isn't my home then I'd rather just do the "right" thing (and I promise you, I am so unco that tongs can cause no manner of strife at times. more than one dropped piece of salami or something along the journey!). I don't feel I have an obsession or anything, just that this is manners, and the best hygeine and it's a courtesy to others in the lounge.

your mileage varies and that's fine. If I saw someone pick up a cupcake or something that didn't touch anything else it wouldn't really worry me. What would worry me is something using their hand to pick up some slices of cheese or meat from the pile.

I think most other people would prefer that to be the case.

sorry, didn't mean to pick on you. Just too lazy to quote the other posts about tongs, and also "use the tongs always" has come up previously.

I definitely understood pragmatism on use of tongs. Others around here are not so pragmatic. Didn't mean to point obsession at your post. Sorry.

Edit: I wouldn't even know how to start if presented with tongs for dip...

 

[Quickstatus]

5 sec rule..

I thought it was 3 sec. Ok I don't need to rush so much next time

love my crocs lol

Only if it has charms on it Miss QS got headlight charms similar to these when she goes outside the house in evening.

HESTA

Representing a lot of the health care workers.

buffet etiquette.

That's an oxymoron by definition.

 

[mrsterryn]

Only if it has charms on it Miss QS got headlight charms similar to these when she goes outside the house in evening.
View attachment 316468

Oohh I need those

 

[Mr H]

sorry, didn't mean to pick on you. Just too lazy to quote the other posts about tongs, and also "use the tongs always" has come up previously.

I definitely understood pragmatism on use of tongs. Others around here are not so pragmatic. Didn't mean to point obsession at your post. Sorry.

Edit: I wouldn't even know how to start if presented with tongs for dip...

I don't particularly care whether people use tongs. We don't use them at home.