Let us know your most outrageous thoughts on any topic about flying

[Katie]

People who carry on more than two items (I don't care if XYZ airine says you can carry three because a bloody handbag or man bag is a personal item and is not counted) should be zapped with a cattle prod. Or something. And their excess carryon should be spectacularly destroyed or thrown away.
I'm sick of being hit in the face and shoulders by people's excess baggage, especially on US domestic flights, just because I sit in the aisle.

 

[Katie]

Lines for airport security should be based on an IQ or skill test that's cross-referenced with your physical and emotional baggage, not on your status or the class you fly.

 

[drron]

People with status'd RFID tags on their hand luggage full stop.

Seriously WHY? It's not like others in the lounge would look at you and go "oh you're special, you've got lounge access", and when you're out in the terminal most people don't know what the colours mean anyway, and something tells me that the the person is not about to checkin in an oversized school bag...

/rant

Of course I look.See the gold tag and think-my gold is better than your gold.

 

[SeatBackForward]

Lines for airport security should be based on an IQ or skill test that's cross-referenced with your physical and emotional baggage, not on your status or the class you fly.

I'd just want a line for "People who have everything out and ready to scan".

I don't for the life of me understand how people can stand in line, and NOT realise they have to do stuff. Like people who wait in line, and only start deciding what to get when they get to the front.

 

[Max Samuels]

Don't for a second think that status has anything remotely to do with amount of time in a plane, and don't for a second believe that there is not advantages to doing SC runs, if nicely timed.

Finally, for some of us, we love flying. Any excuse will do, and the magic is still there.

100% agree. My go to status run was EK/QF F MEL-AKL. Technically not a status run I suppose, as I did need to go there. But did I need to go EK F? Probably not... but sometimes when tickets were as low as $800 it was an expense I could justify.... and I probably did take a few trips that I didn't really have to do....

And the magic of flying is certainly there for me too... especially in EK A380!

 

[dajop]

Security theatre. All fine and good. But don't bark at me because I didn't follow your arbitary rules of one item per tray when your trays are big enough to do laps in if they were filled with water. Small bag of personal effects --> 20cm of empty tray --> ipad mini. No must go in separate tray. One item per tray .. waste all our time with more and more trays. (new MEL international).

 

[Max Samuels]

* People who look at Qantas international starry-eyed and remain 'loyal' to it, don't fly the top tier international airlines so don't know what they are missing

Shhh... I alleged something similar the other day and I swear to God a Fatwa was issued for my death....

 

[Max Samuels]

I think that whoever "manages" the theatre that is airport security should be made to fly between Melbourne and Bali.... forever... on JQ in the middle of the middle seat, right at the back near the dunnies.....

* WTF is with your metal detectors??? Calibrate them. I wear the same thing to different airports, and sometimes it goes off and sometimes it doesn't. When I asked why, they said: "They are all calibrated differently"..... WRONG! IT'S AIRPORT SECURITY FFS SURELY YOU HAVE SOME KIND OF STANDARD REQUIRED BY LAW

* BNE domestic "elite tosser" check-in area was trialing "smart" x-ray conveyor belt and tray thing..... after 2 years they ripped it out because it wasn't any good...... now MEL international is trialing said failed equipment..... WTF? Do they not share intel?

 

[Denali]

I thought you had to go to Denver or higher for the mile high club.

I really liked the Pancake breakfast on UA SFO-SYD in Y back in the mid 2000s.

I wish my Grandad had let my Mum become a flight attendant. OK, maybe that's not outrageous. But back in the 60s/70s when she wanted to become an FA, my Grandad said it wasn't a suitable occupation, and she should become a nurse or housewife instead.

I wish Avgas smelled nicer. I hate the wave of nausea I get when it hits me boarding a plane.

People who carry on more than two items (I don't care if XYZ airine says you can carry three because a bloody handbag or man bag is a personal item and is not counted) should be zapped with a cattle prod. Or something. And their excess carryon should be spectacularly destroyed or thrown away.
I'm sick of being hit in the face and shoulders by people's excess baggage, especially on US domestic flights, just because I sit in the aisle.

Lines for airport security should be based on an IQ or skill test that's cross-referenced with your physical and emotional baggage, not on your status or the class you fly.

Katie's working through some issues that shes been keeping quite about for far too long

 

[Gremlin]

Americans really do make the worst tourists. Embarrassingly, Australians are only marginally better.

 

[Max Samuels]

Why do the crew in QF domestic J time their service to be as short as possible, regardless of the flight time?
Common sense would dictate that BNE-MEL is further than MEL-SYD and therefore there should be about an extra hours of "drinking" time.... but I have noticed that on the longer flights they are slower at starting the service.

Just the other day on MEL-BNE, seated in row 3, we were half way there before I got served... and why the hell don't they serve a pre-departure drink that is not water??????????? When I see J selling as high as $1400 for that leg I just laugh... what a rip off.

At least on EK F to AKL it was possible to drink enough Dom to equal the price of the ticket....

 

[Bodie]

INTERNATIONALLY
I want the self serve kiosks on earlier - so you can scan passport and if you have pre booked - just print boarding passes and weighs luggage and prints tags and then have bag drop open - were its just a bag drop and scan your luggage and boarding passes and then onto security. if problem then computer tells you to speak to staff when check in opens . It would stagger check in.

i want security to be consistent would be nice- shoes on or off, does a tablet need to be taken out as per laptop. Liquids , medications in clear bag - out or not. We have been instructed differently at different times. How high machine do they turn up, as Mrs Bodie has a bangle she cant take off- some fine - some body scan- some wand, just be consistent.

 

[burmans]

Qantas is the best airline ever.

 

[Matt_01]

.....I suspect I will find myself crediting to a more local airline that may or may be part of the OW alliance!!!!!

I have heard that chap Goh Choon Phong runs a pretty good airline.

 

[Matt_01]

2. People with P1 tags on all their bags but were never P1.

But that is in the true sprit of DYKWIA behaviour.

Back in March I ‘Free Stuffed’ 4 Affers into the P1 club. Maybe they were aviation enthusiasts/ collectors.

 

[jase05]

I think that whoever "manages" the theatre that is airport security should be made to fly between Melbourne and Bali.... forever... on JQ in the middle of the middle seat, right at the back near the dunnies.....

* WTF is with your metal detectors??? Calibrate them. I wear the same thing to different airports, and sometimes it goes off and sometimes it doesn't. When I asked why, they said: "They are all calibrated differently"..... WRONG! IT'S AIRPORT SECURITY FFS SURELY YOU HAVE SOME KIND OF STANDARD REQUIRED BY LAW

YES!
Mrs Jase gets sick of the bracelet roulette. Must be removed at ADL but fine in several other ports. Always with the standard “ ADL must calibrate their machine differently”

 

[jase05]

QF should make 1 flight per week to/from all Intl destinations child free. People like us would pay double to fly on these flights

 

[clipped_wings]

BEST THREAD EVER. I GOT A BIG PROBLEM WITH YOU PEOPLE....AND YOU'RE ALL GONNA HEAR ABOUT IT!

 

[tgh]

Status works tho…. once upon a time I must have had it because I found one of those magnificent and valuable gold coasters when looking for a bag tag after packing.
Off to the airport, throw my bag on the magic carpet machine, lights action.. bzzzzzzzz….. no cigar
Baggage dragon said you must have put the tag on the bag in the wrong place……. huh ???
Bag repositioned.. try again…. lights action………. …. …. ….. …. … nuthin...
finally.. in a very small voice.. the magic carpet asked if this tag belonged Mr X, an expired gold ff from 300 years ago…..
bingo..
the technology works..
the bag dragon goes off to get a strong cup of coffee (perhaps also with a shot of calming fluid) ….
me ? ... I waltz off to the lounge ...

 

[dajop]

QF should make 1 flight per week to/from all Intl destinations child free. People like us would pay double to fly on these flights

Hard to enforce though as you can’t tell if someone’s a child or not by their date of birth alone. The really childish behaviour tends to come from adults. :-(