Thanks so much for those who have contributed thus far but it’s time to get serious:
Preliminary thoughts are up western side to Glasgow - 2 or 3 nts in Glasgow then 2 or 3 nts in Edinburgh then back east coast to LHR to fly out.
No idea if this is sensible or too ambitious - what I need to start with is coming from where I do in much younger years driving narrow tight twisty country roads is second nature so we take that out of equation immediately.
Museums / churches etc bore both of us to death - well the Beatles Museum excluded here.
Castles we can take or leave - a couple visits prolly max
Attempting to experience the smaller quaint country town feeling if it exists
So some questions please if I may:
- Should we plan 4 or 5 days north and south legs?
- Is 3 nts / 2 days in both Glasgow / Edinburgh sufficient? Too long?
- I assume rental cars in UK are similar to AU in terms age / quality etc? (Def will be hiring SUV)
- Rental car company recos if you have any please
- Any suggestions to avoid newbie traps appreciated

Again thanks so much for taking the time to contribute - very much appreciated.
Just my thoughts - on top of all the other good suggestions.
1. Yes, make most of the time by taking 4-5 days each way. There is a lot to see
2. It will be up to you, and what is suggested to see, but I would say that's about right.
- There are a lot of cultural tours about the industrial and social history of Glasgow, including their favourite son Billy Connolly.
From Glasgow you can head up to Loch Lomond for a day trip, (and be filmed on the banks singing The Bonnie Banks o' Loch Lomond).
- On the drive from Glasgow to Edinburgh (it's only an hour straight through) take your time to drop by Stirling,
The Kelpies, Dumfermline, and drop into Queensferry for lunch or a drink before swinging into Edinburgh.
- Edinburgh has heaps to look at and experience - the castle of course. It can be a bit crowded at times, and we've stayed at Leith (AirBnBs) and used public transport to get around. Parking in the main parts of Edinburgh is a real pain and to be avoided if you can.
3. I assume rental cars in UK are similar to AU in terms age / quality etc? (Def will be hiring SUV), and
4. Rental car company recos if you have any please
I've found no difference between the big companies while in the UK, they're all just as good (or bad) as each other. Pick whichever has the right vehicle, location, and prices. But, double check when you arrive. I have rarely had the specific vehicle type I have booked. Most times it was like for like (Ford Focus for a Hyundi i30), a lot better (Audi A3), and a few times, while the same size, total rubbish (Fiat 500x diesel - I've driven more comfortable and better performing tractors).
And I would echo other comments about the size of the car, go for something mid-size. And be prepared to dive across the road to snare a parking spot if you see one.
5. Any suggestions to avoid newbie traps appreciated
- Don't underestimate how long it can take to drive between places, despite what Google Maps says. But, if it suggests getting off a main road to avoid an accident, take that option. If there is an accident on the Motorways and you're caught between exits, you will be stuck for 1-2 hours. - Allow yourselves a lot of time, and then that gives you the opportunity to stop an explore interesting little places you will find.
- In the cities, the road networks can be confusing. I know there is a photo of me driving along a bus lane in Edinburgh but never got fined. They must have identified it as a hire car and let me go as being just another of 'those' tourists.
- If you're up for a challenge, tackle the
Magic Roundabout in Swindon.
- Learn to appreciate craft ales. They are served cool rather than cold and have a fantastic range of flavours and styles. Look out for the
CAMRA logo on pubs. Also, wines come in small/medium/large pours - something MrsK appreciated.
There is a stack of cute towns up and down the west and east sides of the UK. Places I've stayed at and enjoyed are (and I imagine there will be a heap of good suggestions from others):
West route
-
Letcombe Regis - west of London. Stay at
The Greyhound Inn for a classic English pub experience (ask for the Segsbury room), and excellent food and craft ales. The village is full of cute, thatched houses, village green, and a 15th century church. A great spot for walks along creeks and the fields.
- Stow-on-Wold: An old market town in the Cotswolds, en route to Liverpool. Lots of places to stay. Have a drink and something to eat at
The Talbot, and for people watching. We stayed at the Wyck Hill House Hotel but it's closed now for renovations. It was a nice old building, just a bit Fawlty Towers for service though.
East route
-
Alnwick - another old market town. Good for wandering around, stopping in at pubs (which always seem to be our main activity). We stayed at the
Castle View Guest House. It's in a convenient location and has free parking.
-
Whitby: on the east coast. You can drive along the coast to get there, and afterwards, cut through the Moors to head towards York. The times I've stayed there I used different B&Bs which was ok. But parking is a right pain. It can also get busy with domestic tourists during summer. And, there are always seagulls everywhere.
-
Lincoln - a biggish town/city, but has a lot of character, as well as the usual castle and cathedral. It's a uni town so that brings some extra colour and vibrancy to the place. We stayed at
The Lincoln Hotel, which was a bit plain but in the right location, and you guessed it, free parking. Just don't park under the trees as the you'll come out in the morning and find the squirrels have pooped all over your car.
- Cambridge - a spectacular place to visit and stay. The large parks, the stunning buildings, watching people punt along the Cam River etc, and lots of pubs. We stayed at the
Arundel House Hotel, which was basic, but in a good location and again, free parking. If you stay at Lincoln, cut across to King's Lynn and head down that road to Cambridge. The drive is very scenic and seeing the cathedral at Ely up on the hill is quite a sight.