Such wonderful history to see their, let down by a people with little to no western civilities about them
I thought "civilities" was sufficient by itself; why should it have to / need to be qualified by "Western"? Granted that China is quite different and lacking as such, but as if the Western world is completely virtuous?
FWIW my parents have been to both Beijing and Shanghai (amongst a couple of other places). They were on a guided tour (one of those run by China tour groups, where 60 - 80% of the tour is being taken to shops or factories which pay a cut to the tour guide); as far as I know they were never spat on, and I doubt they knew of the "convention" (I'm sure they would've witnessed spitting in the street, but they never told us about it).
They gave an expectedly mixed response - the attractions / history is great, but the chaos and pollution, especially in Beijing, doesn't make it a great place in that respect to stay in. (The food provided on tour was also rather substandard, though "they got what they paid for" in a way). The fact they were on tour sheltered them quite a bit in a way; I've been told from talking with a few other native Chinese that Beijing is quite unforgiving (to put it nicely, not to mention that the Beijing Chinese accent is unique and difficult to communicate with, as I personally found out), whereas Shanghai is much, much better and, relatively, more welcoming and attractive.
That all said, I'm not in any hurry to go to mainland China
per se, but I have sketched on my list somewhere Shanghai and Harbin.