Quotable Quotes

[Foreigner]

"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."

- George Burns

 

[Major]

Isn't it amazing that George Carlin - comedian of the 70's and 80's - could write something so very eloquent...and so very appropriate.

A Message by George Carlin:

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways , but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete...

Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.

Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, ' I love you ' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

George Carlin

 

[Foreigner]

Experience is the name every one gives to their mistakes.

– Oscar Wilde

 

[Foreigner]

Heart of Gratitude!!!​

A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet. He held up a sign which said: "I am blind, please help." There were only a few coins in the hat.​

A man was walking by. He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it around, and wrote some words. He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words.

Soon the hat began to fill up. A lot more people were giving money to the blind boy. That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to see how things were. The boy recognized his footsteps and asked, "Were you the one who changed my sign this morning? What did you write?"

The man said, "I only wrote the truth. I said what you said but in a different way."

I wrote: "Today is a beautiful day but I cannot see it."
Both signs told people that the boy was blind. But the first sign simply said the boy was blind. The second sign told people that they were so lucky that they were not blind. Should we be surprised that the second sign was more effective?

Moral of the Story: Be thankful for what you have.. Be creative. Be innovative. Think differently and positively.

When life gives you a 100 reasons to cry, show life that you have 1000 reasons to smile Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear. Keep the faith and drop the fear.
The most beautiful thing is to see a person smiling…
And even more beautiful is, knowing that you are the reason behind it!!!
Enjoy your day with a heart of gratitude .​

 

[Foreigner]

(Possibly posted earlier)


"There are three types of people in this world: those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who wonder what happened." - Mary Kay Ash, American businesswoman



​

"Initiative is doing the right thing without being told."
- Victor Hugo, French writer​

 

[NM]

(Possibly posted earlier)


"There are three types of people in this world: those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who wonder what happened." - Mary Kay Ash, American businesswoman



​

"Initiative is doing the right thing without being told."
- Victor Hugo, French writer​

And the mathematical variation:

There are three types of people in this world, those who can count and those who cannot.

And the geek version:

There are 10 types of people in this world, those who understand binary and those who don't.

[I have no idea to whom these should be attributed]

 

[anat0l]

Whilst we're on about the end of the world...

I told my therapist I was having nightmares about nuclear explosions. He said don't worry it's not the end of the world.
Jay London

My mother was always in those films where it's the end of the world and a meteor's about to hit London; there's only six people left, and one of them's in purple underwear. That was always my mother, running from this meteor in purple underwear and spraining her ankle.
Paula Yates

In future 21st December will be the new April Fools day!
Santosh Roy

 

[Foreigner]

Re: Whilst we're on about the end of the world...

"The most exhausting thing in life is being insincere."


"Don't wish me happiness--I don't expect to be happy. It's gotten beyond that, somehow. Wish me courage and strength and a sense of humor--I will need them all."




- Anne Morrow Lindbergh

 

[Foreigner]

Re: Whilst we're on about the end of the world...

A Gentleman will never instigate a fight, but he is permitted to end one.

- Anon

 

[amaroo]

Re: Whilst we're on about the end of the world...

We cannot learn from one another until we stop shouting at one another, until we speak quietly enough so that our words can be heard as well as our voices.

- Richard Nixon

 

[drron]

Re: Whilst we're on about the end of the world...

Re the TSA-
O Man,vain man,dress'd in a little brief authority,most ignorant of what he's most assured, glassy essence, like an angry ape, plays such fantastic tricks before high heaven, as make the angels weep.

William shakespeare
Measure for Measure.

 

[drron]

Re: Whilst we're on about the end of the world...

I wasn't sure whether to put this one in the humour thread or here-

[TABLE="align: center"]
[TR]
[TD="bgcolor: #FFFFFF"]'Australia's budget is one of the seven economic wonders of the modern world'

Julia Gillard
Business council of Australia dinner 2012.
[/TD]
[/TR]
[/TABLE]

 

[Foreigner]

A word to the wise ain't necessary; it's the stupid ones who need advice.

- Bill Cosby

 

[Foreigner]

By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember it.

- George Burns

 

[Foreigner]

You know you're an alcoholic when the bartender knows your name...and you've never been to that bar before.

- Zach Galifianakis

 

[Hafgan]

Regarding the Lady Bollinger's quote on p6 -

A woman after my wife's heart!

I am only allowed in the door after being away grasping a bottle of Bolly!

 

[Foreigner]

Some may agree with this from bitter experience:

"A friendship founded on business is a good deal better than a business founded on friendship."

- John D. Rockefeller, Founder of Standard Oil Company.

 

[Major]

Some may agree with this from bitter experience:

"A friendship founded on business is a good deal better than a business founded on friendship."

- John D. Rockefeller, Founder of Standard Oil Company.

Totally agree on that

 

[Major]

We don't stop laughing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop laughing!

Anon.

 

[JohnM]

Re: Whilst we're on about the end of the world...

God gave every man a brain and a cough but only enough blood to make one work at a time.

- Robin Williams.