Safety while travelling alone

[Katie]

This is on my mind after an incident this morning. For the moment, I’ll leave location details out, as I’m still travelling and in that location.
FWIW, Mr Katie doesn’t know about this, as I want to speak to him personally, and I don’t need him worrying about me travelling alone.

I’m in the US at the moment; I’ve been to the US maybe 50 times over the past ~30 years. This morning, I had my most unnerving - actually scary - experience. I’m at a hotel, there’s a Starbucks within walking distance; I walked to Starbucks to get a coffee (yes, from Stabucks, though as it happened, it was my worst Starbucks ever). As I walked along the semi-major street near my hotel, a man was walking in the other direction. This was at 9am or later. He was talking to himself; I kept my eyes down and walked my way. He was clearly struggling with insecure housing and/or mental issues. I usually feel fairly secure, as I’m 6’ tall and *ahem* not about to be knocked over easily.

After I walked past, the man turned around to follow me. I was now at a big intersection, and pressed the walk signs for both ways I could walk, as the Starbucks is kitty corner from where I was standing.

The man started rambling about being attracted to things he could smell (GROSS, was he saying he could smell me??), but also something about smelling pigs, I’m starting to forget the details of what the flip he was rambling about. There was lots of Mother F*ers, some cough about protecting women, and then some more mother f*ers. He was certainly coming closer to me, and I wondered if any driver at the intersection would notice or so something if this man started being violent towards me. I’ve never before wondered about whether I would actually be assaulted in public (lucky for me, eh?).

Thankfully for me, a woman came up on her bicycles, said something something girlfriend and stood next to me. I felt seen and more protected than standing alone. After a bit - the lights were taking AGES to change - I asked her if it was safe to walk alone around here. She said there was a nice walking area nearby, and that it usually was.

What I’ve been pondering today is that I don’t really know what to do if someone tries to assault me. I’m a big person, so I don’t think someone will want to take me on. But I don’t think I give off b**ch vibes. (Awkward lol). And I have an 18yo young woman who we’ve instilled a love of travel into, and she would have been absolutely ruined by an experience like this.

So, travellers who at times feel vulnerable, what would you do in this kind of situation?
What are your coping techniques?

 

[p--and--t]

This is on my mind after an incident this morning. For the moment, I’ll leave location details out, as I’m still travelling and in that location.
FWIW, Mr Katie doesn’t know about this, as I want to speak to him personally, and I don’t need him worrying about me travelling alone.

I’m in the US at the moment; I’ve been to the US maybe 50 times over the past ~30 years. This morning, I had my most unnerving - actually scary - experience. I’m at a hotel, there’s a Starbucks within walking distance; I walked to Starbucks to get a coffee (yes, from Stabucks, though as it happened, it was my worst Starbucks ever). As I walked along the semi-major street near my hotel, a man was walking in the other direction. This was at 9am or later. He was talking to himself; I kept my eyes down and walked my way. He was clearly struggling with insecure housing and/or mental issues. I usually feel fairly secure, as I’m 6’ tall and *ahem* not about to be knocked over easily.

After I walked past, the man turned around to follow me. I was now at a big intersection, and pressed the walk signs for both ways I could walk, as the Starbucks is kitty corner from where I was standing.

The man started rambling about being attracted to things he could smell (GROSS, was he saying he could smell me??), but also something about smelling pigs, I’m starting to forget the details of what the flip he was rambling about. There was lots of Mother F*ers, some cough about protecting women, and then some more mother f*ers. He was certainly coming closer to me, and I wondered if any driver at the intersection would notice or so something if this man started being violent towards me. I’ve never before wondered about whether I would actually be assaulted in public (lucky for me, eh?).

Thankfully for me, a woman came up on her bicycles, said something something girlfriend and stood next to me. I felt seen and more protected than standing alone. After a bit - the lights were taking AGES to change - I asked her if it was safe to walk alone around here. She said there was a nice walking area nearby, and that it usually was.

What I’ve been pondering today is that I don’t really know what to do if someone tries to assault me. I’m a big person, so I don’t think someone will want to take me on. But I don’t think I give off b**ch vibes. (Awkward lol). And I have an 18yo young woman who we’ve instilled a love of travel into, and she would have been absolutely ruined by an experience like this.

So, travellers who at times feel vulnerable, what would you do in this kind of situation?
What are your coping techniques?

You don't have to be in the US and don't have to be overseas and you don't have to be a female presenting person to have intimidating encounters with someone who is suffering with mental or substance abuse issues. Mature age (old) male 190cm and over 100 kg have been un-nerved by such a person a couple of times walking down La Trobe St in Melbourne CBD. When they are yelling at the top of their voice and swearing aggressively and constantly (tourettes?), I think it would un-nerve the vast majority of the population.

I rationalise it somewhat by the fact they possibly don't even know you are there and are lost somewhere inside their mental fantasies.

Don't think there is anytjhing I can offer as a solution to this other than eyes down, don't provoke and move on / to the other side of the street at the earliest opportunity.

 

[Katie]

He seemed to be coming closer to me, despite my lack of interaction, until the other woman on the bike came up and somewhat positively interacted with him
“Fine, thanks!” That kind of thing.

Ignoring him, head down, was not working.

 

[p--and--t]

He seemed to be coming closer to me, despite my lack of interaction, until the other woman on the bike came up and somewhat positively interacted with him
“Fine, thanks!” That kind of thing.

Ignoring him, head down, was not working.

Try to rationalise it from the facts you presented - more than 50 trips over 30 years (and that's just the US (the land of random multi-death shootings of circa 30,000 in any one year).

Of all the things that could have happened to you travelling alone or accompanied (I don't think it makes much difference) in that time - you (we) have been lucky, and it may never happen again.

Edit: I've been followed in Saigon, attempted robbery in Rome, got taken on a taxi ride to somewhere I didn't want in Manilla, crowd crushed in Bangkok, hospitalised in Cuba from food poisoning, mugged in a park in Adelaide - not going to stop my next trip