The Tony Hancock "What Type of Frequent Flyer are You?" Quiz

[TonyHancock]

After several months* of work, scientific research^ and testing on the general public# the Tony Hancock “What kind of Frequent Flyer are you?” quiz is finally complete. (Fifteen key questions with multiple choice answers.)

Please answer all questions truthfully or just lie if you like. If an answer does not match exactly your own response just make something up that matches near enough.

For the purposes of this quiz I am assuming that QF WP is the top level in the QFF program…..even though we all know it isn’t really.

The purpose of the quiz is not to work out whether you are a frequent flyer it is to establish what sort of frequent flyer you are.

This quiz includes some technical jargon so please add an extra 10 points to your score if you don’t understand some of it.

When you have completed the quiz add up your score and see what sort of FF you are by reading the post defining FF’s by score.

Please, please, please, please don’t bother commenting about questions that should or shouldn’t be there or how the scoring should have been done etc. Just make your own quiz up instead!!


*err minutes
^ all research carried out after copious quantities of alcohol
# No frequent flyers were hurt, much, in the testing process

 

[TonyHancock]

1. How many miles have you flown in your lifetime?

a) one million or more (30 points)
b) over 500,000 (15 points)
c) over 250,000 (5 points)
d) less than 250,000 (1 point)

2. How many miles did you fly last year?

a) 250,000+ (30 points)
b) 100,000+ (15 points)
c) 50,000+ (5 points)
d) 5,000+ (1 point)

3. Do you have top level tier status (not status matched or gifted) in

a) three or more airlines (30 points)
b) two airlines (15 points)
c) one airline (5 points)
d) No airlines (1 point)

4. When you fly do you?

a) Hope the aircrew are taken ill and a message comes over the tannoy asking for someone with flight experience, enabling you to demonstrate your Microsoft (or other) simulator pilot skills (-5 points)
b) Have no interest in piloting a plane. (5 points)
c) Dream of becoming a pilot (2 points)
d) Want to sit next to anyone that answered “a” and prevent them from getting up to fly the plane. (10 points)

5. You head to the buffet counter in your favourite airline lounge do you

a) Check to see if Lurpak is the butter of choice (5 points)
b) Look for the sandwich press. (1 point)
c) Wonder why there is not a sit down waiter service. (10 points)
d) Fight with the automatic pancake maker. (2 points.)

 

[TonyHancock]

6. You are offered the chance to attend an event hosted by your favourite airline, but the free flight is with their budget carrier, do you

a) Go with the flow and take the flight. (5 points)
b) Decline to attend because you are already traveling. (10 points)
c) Complain to the airline about the flight and try to change it. (-50 points.)
d) Begrudgingly go but make sure your favourite airline knows you aren't happy. (1 point)

7. Your favourite airline “enhances” its frequent flyer program do you?

a) Take to social media vehemently decrying the changes (2 points)
b) Accept that these things happen and move on (10 points)
c) Have a quiet word with your designated customer service rep. (5 points)
d) Have an online tantrum and tell the world you'll be flying with another airline. (1point)

8. How do you gain your airline status?

a) By looking for loopholes in the frequent flyer program. (1 point.)
b) By maximising double status credit offers. (2 points)
c) By flying the requisite amount in discount Y (10 points)
d) By flying the requisite about in J or F. (10 points)

9. A double status credit offer drops into your inbox at 14:59 you

a) Book a trip to TSV via HBA and KTA, by 15:03 maximising the last days of the MASA (1 point)
b) Smile contentedly and book an extra trip to make the most of it. (2 points.)
c) Sigh and review your existing bookings wishing that one day the DSC offer will be useful to you. (5 points)
d) Praise The Lord (Skybed), for it is a miracle, the first targeted DSC offer you have ever had. (10 points.)


10. On your maiden Boeing 787 flight there is an emergency and fire breaks out in the cabin, you….

a) Calmly put on the fire suit from your hand luggage and extinguish the fire with your USB fire extinguisher. (5 points.)
b) Wonder how a fire could start on a modern airliner (2 point)
c) Tell your seatmate that it was to be expected whilst quaffing another red and watching the person that selected option “a” in action. (10 points)
d) Get burned to death because your seat selection was poor. (1 point)

 

[TonyHancock]

11. On your PC flight simulator you have

a) Taken off and landed at some of the trickiest airports in the world (-5)
b) Flown F16's and attacked Alan Joyce's home. (5 points.)
c) Been practising landing a 737 in the hope you'll get the chance to do it for real when the air crew is taken ill mid flight. (-10 points.)
d) What is a flight simulator? (10 points.).

12. Your account is mistakenly credited with 500 SC's to tip you over to Platinum status, you

a) Keep quiet in the hope the airline won't notice (5 points)
b) Call the airline and get them to take the SC's back (10 points)
c) Post about it on social media, calling the airline staff incompetent. (2 points.)
d) Seriously believe it makes you a platinum frequent flyer. (-10 points)

13. As you sit sipping a red in the lounge you look out onto the apron and can instantly recognise

a) Four different aircraft types (1 point)
b) Three different aircraft types (2 points)
c) Two different aircraft types (5 points)
d) That most planey things look the same. (10 points)

14. You are traveling overseas for an extended period and when you land at your destination country you find that all of the baggage has mistakenly been sent elsewhere do you

a) shrug your shoulders and accept the news knowing your insurance will cover it. (5 points)
b) threaten to sue the airline and post on social media about your rights as if you were some sort of legal type. (1 point)
c) phone the airline to establish what is going on and keep in contact until the luggage is found. (5 points)
d) Smile knowingly as you leave the airport, having travelled hand luggage only. (10 points)

15. You are flying from SYD to MEL on a Qantas flight, but it is subject to long weather related delays, do you

a) Blame Jetstar (5 points)
b) Blame Qantas (1 point)
c) Blame the mighty Skybed, God of all things flying related. (10 points)
d) Blame Sydney (2 points)

 

[TonyHancock]

Add up your score and see what type of FF you are!

180+ Heaven forbid you are a road warrior that is possibly not concerned about the technicalities of planey things and stuff. You spend a lot of time flying and learn to deal with the cough that constantly flies your way. You probably fly HLO. There will be some in this group who might well be scamming the system to perfection too.:shock:

140-179 You fly a lot and also have a keen interest in the technical bits….such as if the plane has wings and engines and things. You have a well balanced(ish) view on life and are probably a valued airline customer.

100-139 You don’t fly as much as you’d like to but still more than most or you fly a lot in Y. You also have a keen interest in airports and aircraft but not the “mad as a hatter” interest level. Medium value to airlines maybe…who knows I’m just making this up as I go along.

70-100 Your either a road warrior on the way up or you have a fascination with air travel that does not quite manifest itself miles flown. Airlines are probably not seeking you out as a prime customer….but you may well turn into one....or you may be heading the other way.*

30-69 You don’t fly a great deal but you love airports and planes, you probably have a model of Sydney airport in your garage and have others in this bracket over to play Airport HD on your iPad.

0-29 You may fly a bit, but man you need to look up humility in the dictionary…and another thing get off that flight simulator!

Less than 0 – Oh dear, it is entirely possible that you may have a sense of entitlement that exceeds your value as an airline customer.

* added following feedback - much appreciated

 

[Princess Fiona]

"Valued Customer" I am

 

[cambriamarsh]

Very good, medium but falling. Cheers

 

[drron]

Well at 88 you did leave out a possible cause-I am definitely on the way down not up.
And PS I would always blame Melbourne not Sydney.
And My father did have a model of SYD in our garage.

 

[marki]

I AMex one crazy Frequent Flyer


Sent from my iPad using AustFreqFly mobile app

 

[TomVexille]

78, sounds spot on

 

[anat0l]

I fit in:

Your either a road warrior on the way up or you have a fascination with air travel that does not quite manifest itself miles flown. Airlines are probably not seeking you out as a prime customer….but you may well turn into one.

Unfortunately a road warrior on the way down. And yes a fascination with air travel that no where near manifests itself in miles flown.

And yes I already know I'm not on the airlines' prime customer list. I'm lucky to have a number

 

[TonyHancock]

Well at 88 you did leave out a possible cause-I am definitely on the way down not up.

I fit in:


Unfortunately a road warrior on the way down. And yes a fascination with air travel that no where near manifests itself in miles flown.

And yes I already know I'm not on the airlines' prime customer list. I'm lucky to have a number

I have amended accordingly. Thank you for the feedback gentlemen!

 

[serfty]

1. How many miles have you flown in your lifetime? a) one million or more (30 points)

2. How many miles did you fly last year? b) 100,000+ (15 points)

3. Do you have top level tier status (not status matched or gifted) in: a) three or more airlines (30 points)

4. When you fly do you? d) Want to sit next to anyone that answered “a” and prevent them from getting up to fly the plane. (10 points)

5. You head to the buffet counter in your favourite airline lounge do you: c) Wonder why there is not a sit down waiter service. (10 points)

6. You are offered the chance to attend an event hosted by your favourite airline, but the free flight is with their budget carrier, do you: e) Book your own travel out of your own wallet 'cause you must attend. (20 points)

7. Your favourite airline “enhances” its frequent flyer program do you? b) Accept that these things happen and move on (10 points)

8. How do you gain your airline status? a) By looking for loopholes in the frequent flyer program. (1 point.)

9. A double status credit offer drops into your inbox at 14:59 youc) Sigh and review your existing bookings wishing that one day the DSC offer will be useful to you. (5 points)

10. On your maiden Boeing 787 flight there is an emergency and fire breaks out in the cabin, you…c) Tell your seatmate that it was to be expected whilst quaffing another red and watching the person that selected option “a” in action. (10 points)

11. On your PC flight simulator you have b) Flown F16's and attacked Alan Joyce's home. (5 points.)

12. Your account is mistakenly credited with 500 SC's to tip you over to Platinum status, you a) Keep quiet in the hope the airline won't notice (5 points)

13. As you sit sipping a red in the lounge you look out onto the apron and can instantly recognise a) Four different aircraft types (1 point)

14. You are traveling overseas for an extended period and when you land at your destination country you find that all of the baggage has mistakenly been sent elsewhere do you: d) Smile knowingly as you leave the airport, having travelled hand luggage only. (10 points)

15. You are flying from SYD to MEL on a Qantas flight, but it is subject to long weather related delays, do you d) Blame Sydney (2 points)

Total: 164

Added option 6(e) and gave myself 20 points as none of the others applied!

Add up your score and see what type of FF you are!
...
140-179 You fly a lot and also have a keen interest in the technical bits….such as if the plane has wings and engines and things. You have a well balanced(ish) view on life and are probably a valued airline customer.
...

 

[mel-world]

142 - I think I quite like being a 'valued customer'.

 

[Bindibuys]

100-139 You don’t fly as much as you’d like to but still more than most or you fly a lot in Y. You also have a keen interest in airports and aircraft but not the “mad as a hatter” interest level. Medium value to airlines maybe…who knows I’m just making this up as I go along.

Sounds pretty spot on for my result.

 

[Paddy55]

1. a) > 1,000,000 miles = 30 points
2. c) > 50,000 miles = 5 points
3. c) one airline = 5 points
4. b) no interest = 5 points
5. c) Where are the waiters? = 10 points
6. b) Friends don't let friends fly Jet* = 10 points
7. b) sort of moving on... I think = 10 points
8. d) DONE4s split in 2 with connecting JASAs = 10 points
9. b) Smile - only been able to use 1/4 = 2 points
10. no answer - not flying Jet* thank you! = 0 points
11. d) Huh? = 10 points
12. b) Gotta pure about this = 10 points
13. a) Love the planes = 1 point ???
14. c) Advantage of being a WP, isn't it? 5 points.
15. No answer as 'Blame Melbourne' isn't an option = 0 points


113 points - Don' fly as much as I like which is pretty spot on!

On the way down too :evil:

THank you Tony, very interesting

 

[hazel]

I'm a road warrior - & more of an avgeek than a frequent flyer. The scenario in Q12 happened to me about 16 years ago. I called QF & said they must have made an error -I was advised to stop talking & just go with it.

 

[tuapekastar]

In the 100-139 group but not by much. A few difficult to answer questions, but a fun exercise. You must have been quite bored...

 

[Grooba]

10. On your maiden Boeing 787 flight there is an emergency and fire breaks out in the cabin, you….

a) Calmly put on the fire suit from your hand luggage and extinguish the fire with your USB fire extinguisher. (5 points.)
b) Wonder how a fire could start on a modern airliner (2 point)
c) Tell your seatmate that it was to be expected whilst quaffing another red and watching the person that selected option “a” in action. (10 points)
d) Get burned to death because your seat selection was poor. (1 point)

I was counting along quite well until I came across this ripper and had to walk away for a good 5 minutes to ROFL (almost) literally.

This has to be the current TOTY*.

After calming down I scraped into the valued customer with 142.

*Thread of the Year.

 

[RooFlyer]

Yet another one at 142.

Is this a fix?