A bit of humour

[marki]

Love this caption more please ( codash)

 

[Major]

One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex standing in the foyer of the church staring up at a large plaque. It was covered with names and small American flags mounted on either side of it. The six-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the little boy, and said quietly, 'Good morning Alex.'

'Good morning Pastor,' he replied, still focused on the plaque. 'Pastor, what is this? '

The pastor said, 'Well son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service.'

Soberly, they just stood together, staring at the large plaque. Finally, little Alex's voice, barely audible and trembling with fear asked, “Which service, the 9:00 or the 11:00?”

 

[whatmeworry]

Queen Lizzie forced to resign.

The most senior figure in the Australian governmental system has been forced to stand aside after it was found she holds a British passport. It comes following Greens’ senator Scott Ludlam’s resignation when he was discovered to have dual New Zealand citizenship.
Like Ludlam, Australia’s head of state was found to have foreign citizenship. Although, embarrassingly, she apparently does not hold Australian citizenship either.
It is unclear how the error went unnoticed for so long – the position has been occupied for over 50 years. She will be allowed to run for the position again as soon as she renounces her British citizenship and takes up Australian citizenship.

Australian Head Of State Forced To Resign After British Citizenship Revealed – The Shovel

 

[whatmeworry]

Game of Tones.

 

[whatmeworry]

Potato gets his own throne.

 

[Skyring]

Queen Lizzie forced to resign.

Australian Head Of State Forced To Resign After British Citizenship Revealed – The Shovel

The monarch's position in the Constitution is secure; it does not rely on the sort of requirements to be an MP. Her role in Australian governance is essentially that of a rubber stamp. She does - on the very rare occasions when she is asked - whatever the PM tells her.

She doesn't fit the contemporary notion of a head of state, that is, a representative of the Australian people to the world, but that's fine, because she is not defined as such anywhere in Australian law. Certainly not in the Constitution.

The Governor-General has greater power, a significant role in Australian affairs, and is emphatically one of us. Far better to treat him (or her) as head of state than the distant, absent, and powerless monarch. She does a fine job as head of the British Commonwealth, to be sure.

 

[GarrettM]

------------------------

 

[JessicaTam]

[mod hat]
This is not a politics thread; it is a humour thread.

Let's leave the political jabs out of it, ok?
[/mod hat]

 

[whatmeworry]

Games of Thrones Libertarian Edition

[video=youtube;ojubI-sYwho]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojubI-sYwho[/video]

 

[get me outta here]

I wanted to mention this in the Medical thread but didn't want to upset anyone. Asked of 16 year old :

What is a terminal illness? A. When you are sick at the airport.

What does the word 'benign' mean. A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

 

[Hvr]

I'm sure many women here have done this:

 

[TheRealTMA]

LOLCats - The Man Who Created Autocorrect Has Died - Lolcats - lol | cat memes | funny cats | funny cat pictures with words on them | funny pictures | lol cat memes | lol cats

The man who created autocorrect has died.
Restaurant in peace.

 

[straitman]

A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation in Jerusalem. The woman kept complaining about every little detail and making the trip unbearable.

But a few days before their vacation ended, a tragic accident ended the woman’s life. The undertaker told the husband, “You can have her buried here in the Holy Land for $150 or we can have her shipped back home for $5,000.”

The husband thought about it for a few seconds, then told the undertaker he would have her shipped back home.

“Why would you spend $5,000 to have her shipped home when you could have a beautiful burial here in Jerusalem, and it would only cost $150?!” the undertaker asked, taken aback.

The husband replied, “Long ago, a man died here, was buried here, and three days later, rose from the dead. I just can’t take that chance!”

 

[Bundy Bear]

There was a young lad from Rome
In straya he did make his home
For Senate he ran
An LNP man
He forgot his Italian genome

 

[straitman]

Misunderstandings always make for HILARIOUS stories!

An English lady, making plans for an inexpensive visit to Switzerland, wrote to a country inn for a room reservation. She ended the letter saying she preferred accommodation as close as possible to a WC.

You anglophones will recognize WC as a water closet or toilet. The Swiss innkeeper was not that well acquainted with English, so he took the letter to his friend the parish priest and asked, “What is a WC?”

The priest mulled this over for a time and then the dawn broke. “I’ve got it,” he said, “of course she means Wayside Chapel!”

Very pleased to have his problem solved, the innkeeper hastened to write to the English lady:


Dear Madam,

It is with great pleasure that I am able to inform you that we have a lovely room reserved for your visit and that there, indeed, is a WC. It is located only two miles from the inn, in a beautiful grove of pine trees which gives a feeling of serenity to the visitor.

It may surprise you to know that our WC holds over two hundred persons per sitting. It is a good idea to go as early as possible in order to get a good seat, as sometimes only standing room is available, and is especially hard on some of the older ladies.

On Sundays, a good number of people take picnic lunches and make a day of it. Others take a bus or horse carriage and usually arrive only just in time. I would recommend Madam arrange to go on Thursday evenings when there is organ accompaniment.

Although the building dates back to the 12th century, the acoustics are excellent and even the most delicate sounds may be heard in the halls.

We are very proud of our unusual bell, donated by a wealthy visitor, which rings every time someone makes an offering.

Unfortunately my wife is not been able to attend regularly, since we don’t live that close. Naturally it pains her very much not to be able to go more often.

Some come with cheer – some with charity – but all leave satisfied.


​

 

[whatmeworry]

I must try this.

 

[whatmeworry]

Looks like the flag might have to resign.

 

[love_the_life]

Does it rank with watching fly races up the wall though?

 

[Maca44]

The man who invented the throat lozenger passed away recently.
It was a fairly large funeral but the main thing people noticed was there was no 'coffin'.

 

[Maca44]

The Sergeant Major was addressing his platoon, and in a loud voice the Sergeant Major says,

"Corporal Jones, I didn't see you at the camouflage exercise training this morning".

[FONT=&quot]Corporal Jones came to attention and replied, "Thank you sir".[/FONT]