A bit of humour

[drron]

Apparently nothing much happens in Wales-

.

Not weird at all-

.

nice headline-

.

Be careful what you write-

.

But leave it to the Irish-

.

 

[whatmeworry]

Happy Father's Day to all the Dads on AFF.

 

[Hvr]

I heard that the less hair you have the more head you get.

 

[JessicaTam]

I heard that the less hair you have the more head you get.

That's a bald-faced lie!

 

[TheRealTMA]

That's a bald-faced lie!

Now now, that's very offensive to people with beards!

 

[TheRealTMA]

First, I profusely apologise for this post since it's Murdoch fake newspapers, but I got a chuckle from it. The reporter had at least put 15 minutes into his article.


Australian politics, it turns out, is a lot like Game of Thrones

 

[whatmeworry]

First, I profusely apologise for this post since it's Murdoch fake newspapers, but I got a chuckle from it. The reporter had at least put 15 minutes into his article.


Australian politics, it turns out, is a lot like Game of Thrones

Well in another thread, I did compare the Australian property bubble akin to a land of serfs and lords waiting for someone to smash the wheel.

 

[mrs.dr.ron]

:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

 

[JohnM]

..................

 

[drron]

For the less PC on here-

 

[drron]

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=1389324291146416

 

[TheRealTMA]

You'll go blind, DrRon.

 

[RooFlyer]

Talk about art imitating life. Where have I heard that, before? Kevin Hacker?

 

[Major]

The Adjutant

In the great days of the British Empire, a new commanding officer was
sent to a South African bush outpost to relieve the retiring colonel.
After welcoming his replacement and showing the usual courtesies (gin
and tonic, cucumber sandwiches etc) which protocol decrees, the
retiring colonel said, “You must meet my Adjutant, Captain Smithers,
He’s my right-hand man and is really the strength of this office. His
talent is simply boundless.”

...

Smithers was summoned and introduced to the new CO, who was surprised
to meet a hunchback, one eyed, toothless, hairless, scabbed and
pockmarked specimen of humanity, a particularly unattractive man less
than three feet tall.
“Smithers, old man, tell your new CO about yourself.”
”Well, sir, I graduated with honours from Sandhurst, joined the
regiment and won the Military Cross and Bar after three expeditions
behind enemy lines. I’ve represented Great Britain in equestrian
events and won a Silver Medal in the middleweight division of the
Olympics. I have researched the history of…..”
At that point, the colonel interrupted, “Yes, yes, never mind that
Smithers, he can find all that in your file. Tell him about the day
you told the witch doctor to coughk off.”

 

[whatmeworry]

How do you milk sheep?


Bring out a new iphone and charge
a £1000 for it

 

[TheRealTMA]

How do you milk sheep?


Bring out a new iphone and charge
a £1000 for it

Or you could by a new Nokia!

Besides the X (since when did Americans understand Roman numerals?) for only A$1846.

 

[whatmeworry]

Or you could by a new Nokia!

Besides the X (since when did Americans understand Roman numerals?) for only A$1846.

Superbowl?

The new Nokia's look quite good for the price and they are now using Android. Hopefully they still have great batteries they used in the E5, Lumia/Windows phones.

 

[love_the_life]

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As
she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his
stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet
shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles,
has passed away."

The distressed woman wailed,
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied
the vet..

"How can you be so sure?" she
protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or
something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned
around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later
with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on
in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his
front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from
top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and
shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the
head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he
returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also
delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat
back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and
strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the
woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most
definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and
produced a bill, which he handed to the woman..

The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she
cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it,
the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the
Cat Scan, it's now $150."

 

[codash1099]

 

[anat0l]

This must have been posted somewhere here before.

For me, also an excuse to get used to the new BBCode for the Xenforo forum.

WARNING: Males - particularly married ones - watch and take heed - don't say you weren't warned!