A bit of humour

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Thinking back a few years, living in Queensland, I remember cyclone Doris. I was ready for it but my wife was not


When the wind reached a screaming pitch with trees snapping and threshing, the horizontal horizontal streaming rain,

flying roofing iron and destroyed fences as well as the unnerving sound levels, my wife was rooted to the spot.


She stared and stared through the glass of the window. Immovable, with her nose pressed to the window pane,

the stark fear in her eyes will stay with me for ever. Fortunately, as the eye of the storm arrived and the winds

temporarily lessened, I was able to open the door and let her in.
 
Turnbull at the moment.

Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull has scheduled a press conference this afternoon to express his intention to attain a duel citizenship with any country that would have him, so that he could “bravely take the high road and resign as Prime Minister. Sign off with a whimper and let Tony run this country into the ground.”

Turnbull wishing he was a citizen of another country right now

Steven Bradbury Identified As Last Non-Dual Citizen Eligible For Parliament
In the recent wake of yet more Australian politicians being outed as dual-citizens, top economists and political commentators are speculating the most qualified non-dual citizen eligible for parliament could be former Winter Olympic gold medalist, Steve Bradbury.




Steven Bradbury Identified As Last Non-dual Citizen Eligible For Parliament




 
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Mujibar was trying to get a job in India .

The Personnel Manager said, 'Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except one. Unless you pass it, you cannot qualify for this job.'

Mujibar said, 'I am ready.'

The manager said, 'Make a sentence using the words Yellow, Pink and Green.'

Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said, 'Mister manager, I am ready'

The manager said, 'Go ahead.'

Mujibar said, 'The telephone goes green, green, and I pink it up, and say, 'Yellow', this is Mujibar.'

Mujibar now works at a call centre..

No doubt you have spoken to him. I know I have.
 
Paddy had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition.


It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 18th birthday. On that special day, they'd each walked across the lake to the pub on the far side for their first legal drink.


So when Paddy's 18th birthday came around, he and his pal Jim took a boat out to the middle of the lake, Paddy, stepped out of the boat... And nearly drowned! Jim just barely managed to pull him to safety.


Furious and confused, Paddy went to see his grandmother . "Grandma," he asked, "Tis me 18th birthday, so why can't I walk across the lake like me father, his father and his father before him?"

Granny looked deeply into Paddy's, troubled blue eyes and said, "Because ye father, ye grandfather and ye great-grandfather were all born in December, when the lake is frozen, and ye were born in August, ya coughkin idiot!"
 
A woman in Scottsdale, Arizona, has been arrested after she cut off her partner’s cough in a fit of fury. Shania Jones, 34, told detectives that she was sick of the man – who has been named locally as Bruce Fox – refusing to make eye contact with her during love making. Fox is currently in intensive care at Scottsdale Liberty Hospital, where he is expected to make a recovery.

Here is a photo of Shania Jones.

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Angry Woman Cuts Off Man’s cough for Not Making Eye Contact During Sex
 
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