A bit of humour

[JohnM]

 

[Flashback]

 

[drron]

 

[dajop]

Not sure if this funny or not ..

Think about first letters of the surnames of the last 3 US presidents. What does it spell? Appropriate?

Come to thing of it, what about first letters of the surnames of the last 3 Australian prime ministers. Is that appropriate to?

 

[kelvedon]

 

[drron]

 

[TomVexille]

View attachment 196421

Would be funny if we didn't actually need those in airports

View attachment 196432

Surely that's your preferred route

 

[drron]

 

[Hvr]

It takes me five minutes to walk to the hotel.

It takes me 35 minutes to walk home.

The difference is staggering.

 

[love_the_life]

 

[Hvr]

A stoner, a Jedi, and a surgeon walk into a bar.


Blunt force trauma...

 

[love_the_life]

Perhaps better in the Moggies thread Pity about the spelling!

 

[daft009]

Perhaps better in the Moggies thread Pity about the spelling!
View attachment 197517

Exited?

 

[mrs.dr.ron]

 

[mrs.dr.ron]

 

[drron]

 

[drron]

 

[p--and--t]

Time for a grin. Allegedly the following have been said by FAs during safety announcements trying to make them less boring.....

“Welcome aboard Southwest Flight 245 to Tampa. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt, and if you don’t know how to operate one, you probably shouldn’t be out in public unsupervised.”

“People, people, we’re not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!”

“We’d like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurised metal tube, we hope you’ll think of U.S. Airways.”

“Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants.”

“There may be fifty ways to leave your lover, but there are only four ways out of this airplane.”

“In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are travelling with more than one small child, pick your favourite.”

“Weather at our destination is 12 degrees with some broken clouds, but we’ll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines.”

“Your seat cushions can be used for flotation, and, in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments.”

“As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.”

“There is no smoking in the cabin on this flight. There is also no smoking in the lavatories. If we see smoke coming from the lavatories, we will assume you are on fire and put you out. This is a free service we provide.”

“Please be careful when opening overhead bins because, you know, shift happens.”

“In the event that this flight becomes a cruise, all of you lucky people get your own itsy bitsy, teeny weeny, yellow polka dot bikinis beneath your seat – minus the itsy bitsy, teeny weeny, and you get no polka dots…The beautiful bikini is equipped with a water-activated light. How in the world that works, I have no idea, so if you figure it out please do let me know.”

“If you need an additional reading light, just push the button above your head with the light bulb on it. That’ll turn the light on. However, if you push the button above your head with the flight attendant on it, it does not turn us on.”

That was quite a bump, and I know what y’all are thinking. I’m here to tell you it wasn’t the airline’s fault, it wasn’t the pilot’s fault, it wasn’t the flight attendant’s fault, it was the asphalt.”

...and one from a pilot

“My colleague on my right-hand side, his name is Steve Moore…He’s had a long and distinguished career with the Royal Air Force, spanning some decade or more, but luckily for us, he got rather bored of being a chef and has decided to take up flying.”

 

[Bundy Bear]

Friday or should it be Thursday funny

 

[mrs.dr.ron]