A bit of humour

[Buzzard]

 

[Bundy Bear]

These are pretty good.

 

[Hvr]

What's left behind after a Woolworth's store burns down ?

Coals

 

[Bundy Bear]

Oh dear

 

[JessicaTam]

It takes a village to raise a child - and a vineyard!

(Thanks Nancy)

 

[JohnM]

 

[Tropic]

 

[Bundy Bear]

Doesn’t take long

 

[get me outta here]

 

[p--and--t]

Apparently: What Flat-Earther's fear the most is the sphere itself.

 

[cosi]

A cowboy, who just moved to Montana from Texas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud.

He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.

When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.

The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time."

The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Arizona, the other is in Colorado. When we all left our home in Texas, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself."

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.

The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.

One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs.

All the regulars take notice and fall silent.

When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss."

The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs.

"Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains.

"It's just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking."

“It hasn't affected my brothers though."

 

[tgh]

Getting a Hairdryer Through Customs.
An attractive young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the Priest beside her, 'Father, may I ask a favour?
' 'Of course child. What may I do for you?' 'Well, I bought my mother an expensive hair dryer for her birthday. It is unopened but well over the Customs limits and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through customs for me? Hide it under your robes perhaps?' 'I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you, I will not lie.' 'With your honest face, Father, no one will question you.' When they got to Customs, she let the priest go first. The official asked, 'Father, do you have anything to declare?' 'From the top of my head down to my waist I have nothing to declare.' The official thought this answer strange, so asked, 'And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?' 'I have a marvellous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused.' Roaring with laughter, the official said, 'Go ahead, Father. Next please!'

 

[JohnM]

 

[p--and--t]

 

[Hvr]

Where are average things made?



In a satisfactory.

 

[VPS]

 

[juddles]

In shocking news, 43 cases of corona have been detected in Noosa. Authorities can confirm that none of these cases has travelled from any of the usual countries - China, Iran, and Italy, but are suspected to have arrived recently from Mexico.

They are currently held within the Noosaville Dan Murphys cold room facility...

 

[p--and--t]

It's always wise to view internet postings with a little suspicion

 

[mrs.dr.ron]

Face Masks for couples !

 

[Major]