A bit of humour

[TheRealTMA]

 

[straitman]

View attachment 254562

I thought they fixed that sign that I hit!

 

[straitman]

 

[jonboixxx]

Post automatically merged: Aug 6, 2021

 

[jonboixxx]

Post automatically merged: Aug 6, 2021

 

[Major]

 

[straitman]

What do you say to comfort a friend who’s struggling with grammar?

There, their, they’re.

 

[straitman]

Yesterday, I had a flat tire on the highway coming home from shopping. So I eased my car over to the shoulder of the road, carefully got out and reached in the side compartment I took out two cardboard men, unfolded them and stood them at the rear of my car facing on-coming traffic. They looked so life like you wouldn't believe it! They're dressed in open trench coats that exposed their nudity to the approaching drivers.
But to my surprise, cars started slowing down to look at my lifelike men. And, of course, traffic began backing up. Everybody beeped their horns and waved like crazy. It wasn't long before an RCMP pulled up behind me.
He got out of his car and walked towards me. I could tell he was not a happy camper!
"What's going on here?"
"My car has a flat tire," I said calmly.
"Well, what the heck are those obscene cardboard men doing here by the road?"
I couldn't believe that he didn't know. So I told him......
"Helloooooo, those are my emergency flashers!"

 

[Major]

 

[Ansett]

 

[TheRealTMA]

Waiting for dinner.

 

[coriander]

Instead of a swear jar, I have a negativity jar. Every time I have pessimistic thoughts, I put a dollar in...

It’s currently half empty...

 

[Ansett]

 

[coriander]

Sales: Would you like to leverage your buying power to take advantage of the cohesive branding synergy between these product offerings?

Customer: Um, no thanks.

Sales: Ok, drive forward to the next window please.

 

[coriander]

 

[TheRealTMA]

 

[Hvr]

Why do seagulls fly over the ocean?

Because if they flew over the bay they'd be bagels.

 

[Ansett]

 

[straitman]

View attachment 254708

Yes I am.

 

[Hvr]

Government Warns Census May Cause Blood Clots To Under 50s After Failing To Order Enough Forms​

TARGETS HAVE RES-SHIFTED!!! The Prime Minister, Scott Morrison, and Australia’s chief medical officer have warned people not to “jump to conclusions” and assume a 38-year-old man who died with blood clots developed them due to opening his Census form that arrived in the mailbox last night..


The man died this afternoon, after opening his mailbox earlier this morning.


Australian health authorities have previously concluded two local cases of blood clotting were “likely” linked to potential paper cuts from the census form. Both cases recovered.