A bit of humour

[cosi]

THE ULTIMATE SELFIE

 

[Bundy Bear]

I'll second that.

You start.

 

[codash1099]

 

[JessicaTam]

(Credit to @scharon for the photo)

 

[Bundy Bear]

How to explain football

 

[codash1099]

 

[Cossie]

 

[coriander]

While walking down the street one day a Member of Parliament is tragically hit by a truck and dies.

His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

'Welcome to heaven,' says St. Peter.'Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you.'

'No problem, just let me in,' says the man.

'Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.'

''Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,' says the MP.

'I'm sorry, but we have our rules.'

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he went down, down, down to Hell.

The doors open and he found himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.Everyone is very happy and dressed in evening dress.
They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.
They played a friendly game of golf and then dined on lobster, caviar and champagne
Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly & nice guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it's time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and wave whilst the elevator rises....

The elevator rises and the door opens in heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.'Now it's time to visit heaven.24 hours pass with the MP joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing.
They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

'Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity.'

The MP reflects for a minute, then he answers: 'Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell.'

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell.

When the doors open he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage.

He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.
The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder.

‘I don't understand,' stammers the MP.
'Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?

The devil looks at him, smiles and says,


'Yesterday we were campaigning -Today you voted.’

 

[Bundy Bear]

That month went fast

 

[NM]

We live in strange times where we think its appropriate for a computer to ask a human to prove they are not a robot!

 

[mrs.dr.ron]

 

[NM]

Dancers took 5, 6, 7, 8 because musicians had already claimed 1, 2, 3, 4.

 

[Hvr]

This could be put in so many AFF threads.

Alex cartoon

www.alexcartoon.com

 

[MathNerd]

I tried selling my guitar last weekend on FB Marketplace.

Brand new Gibson, only used once, purchased about a year ago.

The ad got a hit straightaway upon upload, and a guy messaged me saying he'll collect it in half an hour and offered $500 for it. We agreed.

He rocks up to my place, takes one look at the guitar and says "Sorry mate, no can do".

I say "Why? What's wrong?"

He says "Sorry, it looks like it comes with strings attached".

 

[TheRealTMA]

 

[NM]

 

[NM]

When Sweden plays against Denmark, the scoreboard will read:

SWE - DEN

The unused letters remaining are:

DEN - MARK

 

[love_the_life]

View attachment 278266

But that's because the AEC staff took the ballot papers home with them

 

[love_the_life]

I tried selling my guitar last weekend on FB Marketplace.

Brand new Gibson, only used once, purchased about a year ago.

The ad got a hit straightaway upon upload, and a guy messaged me saying he'll collect it in half an hour and offered $500 for it. We agreed.

He rocks up to my place, takes one look at the guitar and says "Sorry mate, no can do".

I say "Why? What's wrong?"

He says "Sorry, it looks like it comes with strings attached".

You know I recognised this as a joke straight away. How? A brand new Gibson foe $500 - never!

 

[TheRealTMA]

You know I recognised this as a joke straight away. How? A brand new Gibson foe $500 - never!

So you think the OP is just stringing us along?