A bit of humour

Why Are Fire Trucks Red According To Monty Python?​


They have 8 wheels, 4 people on them, 4 + 8 + 12, there are 12 inches in a foot, 1 foot is a ruler, Queen Elizabeth is a ruler, Queen Elizabeth was also a ship, the ship sailed the seas, in the seas are fish, fish have fins, Finns fought Russians, Russians are red, that is why firetrucks are red!
 
TheRealTMA said:

Why Are Fire Trucks Red According To Monty Python?​


They have 8 wheels, 4 people on them, 4 + 8 + 12, there are 12 inches in a foot, 1 foot is a ruler, Queen Elizabeth is a ruler, Queen Elizabeth was also a ship, the ship sailed the seas, in the seas are fish, fish have fins, Finns fought Russians, Russians are red, that is why firetrucks are red!
Click to expand...
That works well for the red ones. What about the green ones?
 
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The ATO decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to their office.
The ATO auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his Lawyer. The auditor said, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling.
I'm not sure the ATO finds that believable."
"I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,"says Grandpa."How about a demonstration?"
The auditor thinks for a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'

Grandpa says, 'I'll bet you a $1,000 that I can bite my own eye.'
The auditor thinks a moment and says, 'It's a bet.'
Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it.
The auditor's jaw drops.
Grandpa says, 'Now, I'll bet you $2,000 that I can bite my other eye..'
Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn't blind, so he takes the bet.
Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye.

The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand,with Grandpa's Lawyer as a witness.
He starts to get nervous.
'Want to go double or nothing? Grandpa asks 'I'll bet you $6,000 that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'
The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.
Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor's desk.

The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win.
But Grandpa's own attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.
'Are you okay?' the auditor asks.
'Not really,' says the attorney.

'This morning, when Grandpa told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and urinate all over your desk and that you'd be happy about it!'
 
Today a truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget's Thesaurus crashed. The entire load of books lay scattered haphazardly all over the road. Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralyzed, dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, speechless, and perplexed.
 
prozac said:
Today a truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget's Thesaurus crashed. The entire load of books lay scattered haphazardly all over the road. Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralyzed, dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, speechless, and perplexed.
Click to expand...
The same reaction as when Qantas actually delivers what it says is its service response to its valued customers/passengers.
 
Care for yourself a little more. Talk to yourself the same way you would talk to a dog.
'Hey sweet girl!'
"Look at that beautiful belly!'
'You're so clever'
'Want a treat?'
 
Posting here because I didn't know where else to post. And it is Fun.
Serving draft beer on Lufthansa in the 1960s.
The golden age of flying. Reminds me flying Czech Airlines in the 1970s where the wenches air hostesses as they were called then came around with jugs of beer and steins. They also sold Romeo y Julieta cigars for £1.25 per box.

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