A bit of humour

JohnM · Aug 3, 2022

Perth Airport Promises To Pay Synergy Bill Promptly Next Time - The Bell Tower Times

Perth Airport responded to criticism over power outages last night which led to the cancellation of flights by vowing to get on top of the electricity

www.thebelltowertimes.com

Major · Aug 4, 2022

NM · Aug 5, 2022

Gladstone Tim · Aug 5, 2022

NM said:
View attachment 286778

Sadly I can’t tell because whenever I turn my iPad to check, the image moves.

LOL

Flashback · Aug 5, 2022

Gladstone Tim said:
Sadly I can’t tell because whenever I turn my iPad to check, the image moves. View attachment 286823LOL

You can lock the screen to stop rotation.

Gladstone Tim · Aug 5, 2022

Flashback said:
You can lock the screen to stop rotation.

Irony

coriander · Aug 6, 2022

MrsC: Your glass is empty,
would you like another one?

Me: Why would I want two empty
glasses?

prozac · Aug 6, 2022

A man calls Pizza hut to order a pizza...
CALLER: Is this Pizza Hut?
GOOGLE: No sir, it's Google Pizza.
CALLER: I must have dialed a wrong number, sorry.
GOOGLE: No sir, Google bought Pizza Hut last month.
CALLER: OK. I would like to order a pizza.
GOOGLE: Do you want your usual, sir?
CALLER: My usual? You know me?
GOOGLE: According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.
CALLER: Super! That’s what I’ll have.
GOOGLE: May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust?
CALLER: What? I don’t want a vegetarian pizza!
GOOGLE: Your cholesterol is not good, sir.
CALLER: How do you know that?
GOOGLE: Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.
CALLER: Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetarian pizza! I already take medication for my cholesterol.
GOOGLE: Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According to our database, you purchased only a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once at Lloyds pharmac_, 4 months ago.
CALLER: I bought more from another pharmac_.
GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.
CALLER: I paid in cash.
GOOGLE: But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.
CALLER: I have other sources of cash.
GOOGLE: That doesn’t show on your latest tax returns unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law!
CALLER: WHAT THE !!!
GOOGLE: I'm sorry sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.
CALLER: Enough already! I'm sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others. I'm going to an island without the internet, TV, where there is no phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.
GOOGLE: I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago...