A bit of humour

[Blackadder]

 

[Blackadder]

 

[Hvr]

 

[Blackadder]

 

[Hvr]

View attachment 335362

I do hope they remained civil.

 

[drron]

I do hope they remained civil.

They just whistled Dixie.

 

[Hvr]

 

[cosi]

Beer giant CUB has created a cheeky pint for England’s cricket team after they bitterly refused to have a beer with the Aussies following the controversial Ashes Test win.

A limited edition “England Bitter” — a nod to Victorian Bitter — has been brewed specially for Ben Stokes and his team of whingers.

The slabs of booze have been dispatched and are en route to Headingley where they will be delivered to the English team.

Attached to the cheeky gift is a note inviting the Poms to drink their special beers warm or cold, win, lose or draw after the third Test.

“You can get it not protecting your stumps, you can get it ignoring the umps,’’ the note said.

“We know the English are bitter about the Lord’s Test, but when they’re feeling less bitter we’ve got a beer to shout them … our fresh new England Bitter,’’ VB marketing manager Marc Lord said.

Free England Bitter T-shirts will also be given out to Aussie fans at Headingley on Thursday.

 

[prozac]

View attachment 335398
Beer giant CUB has created a cheeky pint for England’s cricket team after they bitterly refused to have a beer with the Aussies following the controversial Ashes Test win.

A limited edition “England Bitter” — a nod to Victorian Bitter — has been brewed specially for Ben Stokes and his team of whingers.

The slabs of booze have been dispatched and are en route to Headingley where they will be delivered to the English team.

Attached to the cheeky gift is a note inviting the Poms to drink their special beers warm or cold, win, lose or draw after the third Test.

“You can get it not protecting your stumps, you can get it ignoring the umps,’’ the note said.

“We know the English are bitter about the Lord’s Test, but when they’re feeling less bitter we’ve got a beer to shout them … our fresh new England Bitter,’’ VB marketing manager Marc Lord said.

Free England Bitter T-shirts will also be given out to Aussie fans at Headingley on Thursday.

Same old Pommies, always whinging.

 

[drron]

https://content.invisioncic.com/j283755/monthly_2023_07/videoHolyLandBurial_sk.mp4.5f0d5267298191b2866f4083ad853ebb.mp4

 

[Ansett]

 

[drron]

•Five Aussie surgeons from big cities are discussing what type of person makes the best patient to operate on.

•The first surgeon, from Brisbane, says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."

•The second, from Perth, responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is co lour coded."

•The third surgeon, from Adelaide , says, "No, I really think librarians are the best! Everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

•The fourth surgeon, from Sydney chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers...Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over.'

•But the fifth surgeon, from Melbourne , shut them all up when he observed: 'You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. •There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains, and no spine... Plus, the head and the cough are interchangeable.’

 

[Ansett]

 

[Ansett]

 

[coriander]

A woman, cranky because her husband was late coming home again, decided to leave a note, saying, "I've had enough and have left you...don't bother coming after me”.

Then she hid under the bed to see his reaction.

After a short while, the husband comes home and she could hear him in the kitchen before he comes into the bedroom.

She could see him walk towards the dresser and pick up the note.

After a few minutes, he wrote something on it before picking up the phone and calling someone.
"She's finally gone...yeah I know, it is about time,I'm coming to see you, put on that sexy French nightie.I love you...can't wait to see you...we'll do all the naughty things you like.”

He hung up, grabbed his keys, and left.

She heard the car drive off as she came out from under the bed,seething with rage and with tears in her eyes.

She grabbed the note to see what he wrote.
"I can see your feet.We're outta bread; be back in five minutes”......

 

[prozac]

Touching story but I just see 2 Sunday roasts. Anyone else?
Well, they are just going to waste otherwise.

 

[Ansett]

 

[Hvr]

I wrote my first book on penguins.


My editor said I should've written it on the computer.

 

[prozac]

Restroom signage.

 

[VPS]

Classic cruise humour