A bit of humour

[anat0l]

View attachment 339749

When your choice of cruise line can cause a row...

 

[drron]

 

[Blackadder]

 

[prozac]

A homeowner in Alberta wakes up one morning to find a bear on her roof.

She looks in the yellow pages and finds an ad for "Alberta Bear Remover."

So she calls the number and a man says he'll be over in 30 minutes.

The bear remover arrives and gets out of his van. He's got a ladder, a baseball bat, 12-gauge shotgun and a mean looking pit bull dog.

"What are you going to do?" the homeowner asks.

"I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof. Then I'm going to go up and I’ll knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat. When the bear falls off the roof, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicl_s and not let go.
The bear will become subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van."

Then he hands the shotgun to the homeowner.

"What's the shotgun for?" asks the homeowner.

"If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog."

 

[drron]

An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife felt romantic and wanted to talk. She said, "You use to hold my hand when we were courting."

Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep.

A few moments later she said, "Then you used to kiss me." Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.

Thirty seconds later she said, "Then you use to bite my neck."

Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed. "Where are you going ?" she asked.

"To get my teeth!"

 

[codash1099]

 

[Hvr]

 

[Ansett]

A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget's Thesaurus crashed yesterday losing its entire load. Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralyzed, dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, speechless and perplexed….

 

[drron]

 

[straitman]

 

[prozac]

 

[Ansett]

Wow I knew assistance dogs were clever but, this has blown me away. Who knew they could read and flush. Lol taken at Melbourne airport today.

 

[TheRealTMA]

Hometown Influencer Attends Opening Of An Envelope — The Betoota Advocate

STACY OAKSHEAF | City News | CONTACT A hometown influencer has reached a new pinnacle of relevance by attending the opening of an envelope. This up and coming socialite is taking the social scene by storm by ensuring her presence at every event, no matter how mundane or inconsequential. Amidst...

www.betootaadvocate.com

 

[NM]

Wow I knew assistance dogs were clever but, this has blown me away. Who knew they could read and flush. Lol taken at Melbourne airport today.

Actually, a very important facility for assistance dogs. And due to the fact that facility is used by other dogs, it actually encourages them to "over-mark" in an environment that would otherwise not be usual for a trained assistance dog to relieve themselves, which is a good thing prior to boarding a flight.

I know one assistance dog (and his handler) that flies regularly who always visits the assistance animal relief area immediately prior to boarding and upon arrival. The location of these facilities is something researched and known before arrival at a new airport by people who need them.

 

[drron]

 

[Ansett]

Actually, a very important facility for assistance dogs. And due to the fact that facility is used by other dogs, it actually encourages them to "over-mark" in an environment that would other not be usual for a trained assistance dog to relieve themselves, which is a good thing prior to boarding a flight.

I know one assistance dog (and his handler) that flies regularly who always visits the assistance animal relief area immediately prior to boarding and upon arrival. The location of these facilities is something researched and known before arrival at a new airport by people who need them.

Dont get me wrong I think its a great initiative and the airport should be congratulated. I just found it amusing.

 

[VPS]

Too soon?

 

[SYD]

Too soon?

View attachment 340660

I had poison and 1mth…

 

[prozac]

I had poison and 1mth…

It's sad we could have speculated ... and won, but it was inevitable and certain.

 

[Cruiser Elite]

Post automatically merged: Aug 27, 2023