Aaargh. Food writing wankery is alive and well in the 'Epicure' section of this week's Age.
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Describing gnocchi as "nubbins of golden squish dressed with a rubble of fresh broad beans and broccoli with a white pepper left hook and melty lobes of mild squacquerone cheese" means - what? The mackerel is less funky than you've ever seen it, but at least it's been rumbled with waxy potatoes. Happily you can use your 'cob of bread' to sop up the prawn juices.
Fancy dessert? Aha. You can 'mainline your custard in the form of a strawberry fool with sharp rhubarb poached in bubbles. It's face-in-a-rosebush floral, stopping short of potpourrri'.
At least the restaurant being reviwed is nicely decorated, I gather, as 'the look is Country Living meets Temple and Webster, Gwyneth Paltrow meets Nigella Lawson'.
Really? Who understands this cough (an honest and old fashioned word which is jolly descriptive)
.
Describing gnocchi as "nubbins of golden squish dressed with a rubble of fresh broad beans and broccoli with a white pepper left hook and melty lobes of mild squacquerone cheese" means - what? The mackerel is less funky than you've ever seen it, but at least it's been rumbled with waxy potatoes. Happily you can use your 'cob of bread' to sop up the prawn juices.
Fancy dessert? Aha. You can 'mainline your custard in the form of a strawberry fool with sharp rhubarb poached in bubbles. It's face-in-a-rosebush floral, stopping short of potpourrri'.
At least the restaurant being reviwed is nicely decorated, I gather, as 'the look is Country Living meets Temple and Webster, Gwyneth Paltrow meets Nigella Lawson'.
Really? Who understands this cough (an honest and old fashioned word which is jolly descriptive)
