Sticky: Ask the Bogan

[harvyk]

If you are the wife of a former prime-minister and you encounter his daughter, from a previous marriage, in the Chairman's Lounge at Brisbane airport, is the correct protocol just to lay straight into her with both fists, or should you greet her with a polite "Let me at the scrag!!!" first?

the correct protocol is to start off with name calling... Three of the best mates from either side should then step in and hold the person back saying "it's not worth it mate". Finally of the the sides needs to call out a final insult as both parties are walking away. This is the invite for the fight to start...

Laying in with both fists without the verbal taunts makes it seem a bit too pre-meditated, and thus the bogan will usually refrain from such things as it doesn't give them a chance to scout out how many of the other guys mates will actually get up and defend them...

This is standard protocol for all drinking establishments...

 

[Misha]

44% chav! :shock::shock::shock:

I need therapy

 

[TonyHancock]

44% chav! :shock::shock::shock:I need therapy

You cheated! Did you tell the truth about your Burberry flat cap and Chelsea football shirt?

 

[Misha]

You cheated! Did you tell the truth about your Burberry flat cap and Chelsea football shirt?

Am confused. I love Burberry - all my ties (with matching kerchief) are Burberry - and here I thought that was quite posh! :mrgreen:

I love how you picked Chelsea! I used to support them when I was young - but now follow Real Madrid.

Sad to admit growing up I was a Marconi boy - .... mmm? ... maybe I should have got 94%

Edit: Also grew up in Fairfield... does that get me bonus points or excommunication from AFF?

 

[ejb]

Is there a preferred premix bourbon of choice for the bogan ?

The ones who work for me (westies) drink Woodstock. Tastes like dish water.

ejb


Sent from my iPhone so please ignore auto corrects!

 

[docjames]

If I travel to Thailand, via Singapore, where should I put my wallet? How do I connect to Facebook in Singapore? Why dont my pants have pockets?

 

[Misha]

Lmao @ docJames!!!

Pure gold!


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[LiamR]

7% :shock:

I have been known to be extremely arrogant.... Also... I actually know what fashion is.

 

[LiamR]

The more I think about it.

I should instantly be moved to 100% because I live on the Gold Coast, and my house is situated next to a beach. :shock:

 

[Misha]

I have put some thought into this and i would like to nominate our Bogan Moderators (obviously AFF Mods have no expertise in the began field and could potentially remove posts are that are not offensive enough!).

I'd like to nominate two young bogans, keeping the ocker traditions alive for another generation of shameful behaviour... it also engages the younger members of this forum which is always a good thing.

Number 1: LiamR. He mentioned it himself: Gold Coast, Beach, and the time i saw him in the Sydney lounge, he was wearing a flannel shirt. I think i even heard khe sanh coming from his iPod

Number 2: JDevereux... I have one word: Jorts....





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[LiamR]

I have put some thought into this and i would like to nominate our Bogan Moderators (obviously AFF Mods have no expertise in the began field and could potentially remove posts are that are not offensive enough!).

I'd like to nominate two young bogans, keeping the ocker traditions alive for another generation of shameful behaviour... it also engages the younger members of this forum which is always a good thing.

Number 1: LiamR. He mentioned it himself: Gold Coast, Beach, and the time i saw him in the Sydney lounge, he was wearing a flannel shirt. I think i even heard khe sanh coming from his iPod

Firstly, it isn't flannel. As you can see by the attached image.

Secondly, I have never surfed, not do I own a surfboard or wear board shorts .

Thirdly, I am an IT guy. Who does not have Khe Shan on my non-bogan-iPhone 4.

Fourth, I pull many DYKWIAs

Finally, I hate the gold coast, and cooly airport even more.

I rest my case.

 

[Misha]

Finally, I hate the gold coast, and cooly airport even more.

I rest my case.

He just called it "cooly" airport.

I rest mine!


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[fjc]

If you are the wife of a former prime-minister and you encounter his daughter, from a previous marriage, in the Chairman's Lounge at Brisbane airport, is the correct protocol just to lay straight into her with both fists, or should you greet her with a polite "Let me at the scrag!!!" first?

So now we have Bogans and Boganettes?

 

[harvyk]

If I travel to Thailand, via Singapore, where should I put my wallet? How do I connect to Facebook in Singapore? Why dont my pants have pockets?

Travelling via Singapore does ruin bogan credibility, really it should be a direct flight, on JQ. As for where to put your wallet, you have 2 choices. The first is in your pocket, but make sure it's easy for pickpockets to get hold of, otherwise you won't have a travel story to tell your mates back at the pub. Alternatively you can use some sort of bum bag, make sure it's plastered with the Australian flag so everyone knows where you come from and that you're a tourist.

Connecting to facebook is relatively easy, get out your iPhone and connect using global roaming. Don't forget, your are not allowed to think about global roaming charges until you get back home, thus feel free to download as many iPhone apps as you like at the same time.

Pants???

 

[LiamR]

Travelling via Singapore does ruin bogan credibility, really it should be a direct flight, on JQ.

I have to disagree with you there. The majority of bogans fly with Jetstar via darwin.

 

[Sprucegoose]

I have to disagree with you there. The majority of bogans fly with Jetstar via darwin.

agree with a rest stop at the airport pub, with a green or yellow one...................

 

[LiamR]

He just called it "cooly" airport.

It's a technical term Misha. I wouldn't expect you to understand.

 

[medhead]

There appears to be some incorrect information about wallet placement. My observations of the bogan in their natural habitat suggests that the wallet is placed central down the front of the shorts/pants with approximately 2 cm protruding to allow easy retrieval.

agree with a rest stop at the airport pub, with a green or yellow one...................

I do believe you mean a green can. I don't know about a yellow can, as I thought the bogan only drank green cans, when not on bourbon.

 

[Sprucegoose]

There appears to be some incorrect information about wallet placement. My observations of the bogan in their natural habitat suggests that the wallet is placed central down the front of the shorts/pants with approximately 2 cm protruding to allow easy retrieval.



I do believe you mean a green can. I don't know about a yellow can, as I thought the bogan only drank green cans, when not on bourbon.

well a VB or a xx_X........................when not on Bourbon.

 

[harvyk]

There appears to be some incorrect information about wallet placement. My observations of the bogan in their natural habitat suggests that the wallet is placed central down the front of the shorts/pants with approximately 2 cm protruding to allow easy retrieval.



I do believe you mean a green can. I don't know about a yellow can, as I thought the bogan only drank green cans, when not on bourbon.

Don't forget about the black and yellow can... Bundy Rum and coke is a popular drink...